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I have been using and abusing opiates since I was 18 years old.  I am 33 now.  I was prescribed Methadone by a doctor from 2004-2005.  I tested positive for Cocaine, and was cut off immediately.  That withdrawl was the worst.  Then I was in a Methadone Clinic from 2007-2011.  I got kicked out of the clinic, and had to go through wd's so that I could start a Suboxone program.  I was on Suboxone from Feb '11-Feb '12.  I had, yet another problem of testing dirty with Cocaine.  So I was cut off.  I had 4 8mg strips left.  I was taking 8 mg's a day, and have been cutting down my doses to 6 mg's Friday and Saturday.  Sunday and today I am taking 4 mg's.  I have 2 8mg's strips left.  I am going to call around and hopefully get into another Sub or MD program.  But I don't know whether I will even be able to get in, or how long I will have to wait.  I have to prepare for either situation.  I have read about the Thomas Recipe and am thinking about trying that.  Anyone have an experience with that?  I have access to a few Valium, MD, and Hydrocodone.  But I don't want to take those if I don't have to.  I know in myself that I am not ready to be on nothing.  I need to be in a program where I am accountable for my drug use. I have gone 4, 6, and 8 months of not using Cocaine or anything else.  I am already feeling the results of lowering my doses, and am really worried about the full detox that is coming my way.  I have a rx for Clonidine, Trazadone, and Prozac, which have been helping me so far.  Any other further advice or shared experiences would help me a great deal.  Thanks!

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Wow, Do I feel your pain honey..but I really think your setting yourself up for a bad "methadone"type withdrawal but from what you have stated from the low suboxone use..It should really be a walk in the park compared to methadone! Now before anyone jumps up my ass for this I will say that each and every person is different and so will their withdrawals..I am simply stating that I,MYSELF, went from 360mgs a day of methadone at a clinic after 12 years and detoxed BADLY, then had a horrific medical problem that landed me in the hospital for 9 weeks on morphine, etc..and of course after I got home and stopped the pain meds given to me by the surgeon, I got a good dose of withdrawal that I wanted no part of so I went BACK to the methadone clinic only to go to 70mgs a day, then to 3-8mg suboxone films a day then nothing and I promise you that compared to that methadone withdrawal..the suboxone wasn't sh*t!! I did in fact end up doing the suboxone detox twice due to health reasons because of pain medication and I didn't want to get back on that relapse roller coaster..and the second setox was more or less forced because I could not get to the doctors office, it was too far as I don't drive! I was given a certain amount of films and given a taper to go by to stop it..I did as I was told and I was fine..not to say that I didn't feel a bit icky..but in retrospect of the methadone w/d's...WOW, no contest! Honey..do whatever you can to finish getting off without using any opiates, because that will just make it harder when you do find yourself having to stop..and try to get into another doc or program ASAP! If I may ask..what state are you in? I am in NH and very clued in on drug and alcohol treatments in the state! (Oh, and a really great one in Brattleboro,VT)! Please feel free to leave me a message in my inbox or post here, I would like to be of any help that I can! I hope your doing ok..Good Luck from the Granite State!! Theresa
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I completely, 100%, understand what you both go through. I have to completely agree with you, Theresa, about the Suboxone. I first started taking pain meds.-or "opiates/opioids"-when I had just turned 15. I was hit by a drunk driver after getting my driver's permit. I should have probably died in that car accident, but I didn't. Instead, I was given a lifetime of back pain. At the time, I had fractured two discs in my lower back and today I still have two herniated discs down in the same area. I have went through so many back surgeries, procedures, injections, etc. and it all works for maybe 6 mos. @ the very most, but I still hurt to this day! Some days are WAY worse than others. Anyways, my point-I was put on so many different kinds of pain meds that it was unimaginable. Especially for a 15 yr. old! I tried telling my dr. about 5 years ago (when I was 20) that I thought I was highly addicted to the pain meds he was given me. I explained to him all the symptoms I was having, etc. All he told me what that my my problem wasn't that I was addicted, it was b/c I was either getting worse or my pain meds weren't doing their jobs anymore. So he upped my doses and gave me more of them. A little over two years ago, I found a dr. that prescribed Suboxone (after reading on it) for a fairly cheap price. I was right, I was addicted. Especially by the time I went to seek help for it. I was abandoning my family, my son. I was sick of it. All I could think about was how I was going to get my next pill. So, I started out taking the Suboxone tablets-8/2 mg-twice a day. Well, 8 mos. later my appendix ruptured and I was put in the hospital for a week and was on some more pain med though my IV and was given a script for. Even though I took it like I was supposed to, it immediately triggered my addiction again. So I got put back on it but this time I was put on the Suboxone Film, same mg-8/2-and I started out taking it twice a day. Went down to 1 3/4 a day, then 1 1/2 and now I'm down to 1/day. If you take the suboxone like you're supposed to, based off of what people in my NA meetings tell me, if you don't abuse the drug and take it like you're supposed to then you will not have withdraws. I believe that b/c when I never had any. I would've never gotten back on Suboxone if I didn't have my appendix rupture and be put back on pain meds again. I would love more than anything to see the day when I don't have to take one single thing to feel normal. I want to be able to wake up one day and feel like Katie again. It's been almost 11 yrs since I have felt that way. I have seen very close friends on the methadone treatment and they said it was almost just as bad as coming off opiates if not worse. I hope you both stay clean and good luck to you, kmelodya! :)
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Thank You very much Katie and I sure do see where our pasts mirror one another!! I even stated in a post recently just almost the same thing you stated on yours but I said something to the effect of " Recovery is worth it simply by being able to wake up each day and the first thing that doesn't cross your mind is drugs..how will I get them.where will I get them, etc.." and feel like ME again! Methadone I took at a clinic and as pain medication after my kidney transplant, but either way it was a beast to kick....Hooray for your posting about the way suboxone is suppose to feel tapering because your doing it right and honest! (I just wrote a post on "Honesty speaks Volumes" and you hit it on the head! Good for you!! Keep it up and you will not regret it!!!!KUDOS TO KATIE!!!!
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Thank you both for sharing your experiences.  It helps to know that I am not alone.  I called yesterday to about a dozen Suboxone doctors and I was pretty much put on a waiting list for most of them.  But I did manage to get an appointment with one place for March 14th.  And I will have to do Outpatient Rehab four days a week.  I think that will actually be good for me.  But March 14th seems like a million years from now.  And I only have a few days left of my ever-dwindling doses of Suboxone.  I think I'm going to have to detox completely for 24 hours, and then take a small amount of Methadone every day for a little while.  I still have to function untill I can get back on the Suboxone.  Unfortunatly that will mean that I have to do a full detox again in a few weeks in order to get the MD out of my body, to start the Sub's again.  I think that I will avoid the Valium altogether.  Any other advice would really help.  Oh, and I live in Central NY.  Thanks again everyone!
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The 14th will be here before you know it!! I am going to see what I can find out about treatment in NY and let you know what I found! Keep your chin up and your doing the right thing!!!
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