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My (now ex) boyfriend and I had been together almost 2 years. Now that I look back on it, it really hasn't been the best relationship. We rarely spent holidays or birthdays together, have never spent a Valentine's Day together and I've been supporting him financially for a while now. I feel like I put my everything into the relationship. I walk on eggshells around him because he has a very short temper and usually takes it out on me (being sarcastic when I ask questions, yelling, etc.) To make a long story short, he found 2 guys' phone numbers in my phone about a month ago (guys that I had known) and woke me up at 3 a.m. with a gun on the bed. He even pointed the gun at me at one point and pulled the trigger. Thank GOD there weren't any bullets in it. We argued and he walked over to me and slapped me. Whenever we talk about it, he always tries to minimize hitting me by saying things like "you put your hand up" or "I didn't even hit you that hard". He also made me get a tattoo of his initials on my back. (Told me if I didn't he'd leave me-and at the time, I would have done anything to keep him in my life) To make a long story short, now he's been amazing and nice, answers his phone when I call (he rarely did before), and he's been cooking for me, cuddling, etc. The only thing that hasn't changed is the fact that he monitors my phone usage and reads my text messages. I have been planning to move back with my family in a different state in one month and am praying I can hold out 'til then. I've had a lot of help lately and am going to start seeing a therapist next week. The only question I have is this: Am I making the right move by leaving or am I overreacting?

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My advice, leave the guy. Don't even look back, get out now. You should also let the authorities know about the gun incident.

This is beyond slapping. Pointing a gun at you, even without bullets, is not a joke. You could press charges for assault and battery and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.

Please get him out of your life now. You deserve so much better than to be treated this way.

Keep us posted and good luck.
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Thank you for your input. Sometimes I feel like I might be overreacting but I've read that's normal when any kind of abuse is involved. I think he might have a split personality-he said he felt like a different person and like he was on the outside looking in when this all happened. Though it may sound crazy, I think I will be safe until next month. I'm going to be in therapy until I leave and it will be paid for by my job, so I'm getting a jump start on the mental/emotional healing right now. He's so possessive and controlling that he took my laptop. (He didn't/doesn't want me to have any contact with anyone other than my family) I plan to get that back with the help of a police officer as well as have a police officer at my apartment when I'm packing my things in the U-Haul. I'll definitely keep everyone updated before and after leaving this situation.
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Just keep yourself safe, OK. If you have any doubts about a particular situation, call the police. Don't put yourself at risk.

What's he going to say about your being in therapy? Will he find out?

Be careful!
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He at first told me that he thought I should see a therapist as well, but now he's trying to discourage me from going. I told him that I have an appointment scheduled for next week and he asked if I really want to go. He told me that if I need to talk to someone I can talk to him. (Of course, I can't..because what I need to talk about IS him)

The only issue with me calling the police without knowing that I'll be far far away afterward is that he is going to be a police officer. He also has a lot of friends who are police officers, so if I were to stay for a while after calling the police on him there would most likely be a lot of trouble.

For now, I'm just basically trying to appease him and make him believe everything is just fine. He's been very sweet and kind lately but I know it's just because the other day I was ready to walk out on him before he stopped me. He knows now that I can do better and that I am capable of leaving and it's scaring him. I'm going to stand my ground though and not let anything change my mind about this.
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This is getting much more complicated.

You said before he has a "split-personality" and now you're saying he's going to be a police officer. After pulling a gun on you? You really need to let the authorities know this. This man is not ready to be in that position. He used extremely poor and very dangerous judgement by pulling a gun on you. Loaded or not, you did not know at the time. You don't say where you live but in most states this is a FELONY. He will NOT EVER be a police officer.

Bypass the police if you have to. Contact a lawyer, there are often free services for battered or abused women, and you are one of them. You need to press charges and get a restraining order on him. This is not just for your safety anymore it is also for the safety of anyone that he might interact with as a police officer.

You can also contact the state police if you feel you can't trust the local police.

Please do this, now.
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I very much agree with medic-dan.

If he's going to be a police officer and is friends with officers in the area, go to a police station in another county where he isn't friends with those officers. It will strike these officers as personal. I don't think they'd be thrilled with the idea of an abuser as one of them.

This split personality of his not actually a separate personality. When he feels "provoked," what you see is a chemical response in his brain causing him to be violent. It's always there; it's a part of his brain chemistry. In order for him to change, he needs professional help.

That's why I urge you not to see this as an overreaction. He's being nice to you right now as a tactic to get you to stay. I guarantee that if you do stay, he'll change back into the monster you know. It's a facade he's putting on.

Leave, hon. Do it now.
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Thank you both very much for your input. I know that he's being extremely nice and caring right now simply because he knows now that I have the ability to leave. The only time he's ever told me he loves me was when I had my hand on the door to leave. This lets me know that he doesn't really love me. He might think he does but he really doesn't. Yes, I did one thing to hurt him during the entire relationship (I never slept with anyone else or even met them, but I did talk to another man) but he's done so much more to hurt me. My family is probably going to come up on a Friday night, start packing then, stay in a motel then finish everything Saturday morning. I like this idea better than them just coming up on Saturday because that would mean I'd have to wait until Saturday afternoon to do everything.

I haven't been sleeping well lately. I'm trying not to beat myself up over this-the whole "Oh, hey. By the way..I'm leaving you" thing. Another girl has already done this to him. I always wondered why all his past girlfriends left him. Now I know. I know I'll just be another line in a song he writes. He'll probably tell a lot of people very bad things about me but I know none of them are true, and I won't be around to hear them anyway. No one in my home state knows who he is. I'm not planning on dating anytime soon after anyway. I just want to be myself, work on my issues and be with my family and friends.

Thank you both again for all the input. It's been very helpful..especially since I was beginning to think it was just me overreacting.
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