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I'm so afraid of my Narcissistic, bully, controlling, possessive, maybe even a killer, ex boyfriend. I am so afraid of this Man he acts like pure evil. He tells me he like raping me, and physically abusing me while he's raping me, then he tells me Your a** and pu**y belong to me, your my b*tch, and if you ever leave I'll f*cking kill you, and some of the things he would do to, put a gun to my head and pull the trigger and then forces me to act a different way like he was not his self, he urinated on me in the shower and said he was marking his territory smirked, shook his penis off and got out the shower, or stabbing me in the leg, then stabs some chick he denied sleep with, and if I say anymore i'll start crying. so this is enough evidence and to help me decide what type of Man am I dealing with? I have left him for four years not but he won't let me go... 

Please If someone can please help me figure out how dangerous this Man is. and I have a chance of getting out of this abuse alive... I have tried restringing orders. gave the police my diary of dates, and solid proof of what he was doing to me... but I haven't heard anything back from the police, and I'm scared for my life and safety because 1. he was a special officer and have plenty of policeman's for friends, they loan him money, give him rides, and what make me think that he can't find me if he want to? he talks his way out of any situation that he's in... one day they locked him up and he was out the next morning.. I don't understand? but I am trying to move out of Boston and into another state I have to because his threats are more scarier then before, and his actions are speaking louder to my family and friends but I feel like i'm stuck... He know I want to move on, I told him, and he said I'll f*cking kill you b***h u think i'm going to through fifteen years out the window. its like I can't talk to him and just the other day he was poking me with a fork...

Please don't get me wrong I know i'm in danger but I can't get out until I have an apartment to move, and its complicated tied up with (BHA) and i'm trying not to upset him, or get in his way, but when he starts to sexual and physically abuse me he's like a whole new person that I don't know... I pray everyday. and I don't know if i'm going to make it out of this abusive relationship alive... 

thank you for reading my confession... thank you for your mature comments, thoughts, and concerns for me, and if anyone is going through abuse please get out safely don't just up and leave without a plan... its hard hearing me say this because I need your advice and ideas to get help me through this....   so take care, be safe, and God Bless 

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Hi Hurt,

Don't bother with the police. Go to the district attorney and file a complaint. Make sure you also detail in the complaint that you've gone to such and such police department where he is a special officer to file the report - to no avail.

Good luck.
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thank you for your advice, but witch court? can I go to any court and file a complaint?

Its good to see that someone can help me,

take care and God Bless u <3
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I am very sorry that u r going through this. I hope n pray that u r able to leave safely. God bless you, and guide your path
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Call the local courthouse. Ask to speak with the district attorneys office. Someone can tell you exactly how to proceed - and don't give up!

A lawyer can help you with this.
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Health Ace
6889 posts
The next step up from the city would probably be the county attorney's office. I think Boston is in Suffolk county.
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Thank you so much for your kind words. and I did leave him I have gotten the courage to throw his things our, and locked the door. and has been six days now. and I could have never been better :) I'm just going to pray that the physical and sexual abuse is over. it really feels good knowing that he is not a factor in my life anymore, even thou we have children together but i'm done!!! just wish I didn't have to worry if he was going to abuse me anymore could this really be over? :)

take care and God Bless okay? :)
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I have read everything that were sent to me, and I have used every bit of evidence and its wired how getting information off of the internet is help and life and saving. 

thank you all for your concern, and encouragement I did not know about any of this information.... please take care and God Bless! be safe! and always be on your toes :) got's to!!! 
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Over Ben we're u at with my gf and I got tired of it see I keep a gun in my 4 drawerin my bath room fake gun I told her I had to go to the bathroom she side OK I get that gun out told.her air down and I called the cops and that was that with the record voice of her I had she got a life sintinc
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Its god to know everything s going well sweetie. You deserve better than him. May God bless you, love you and guide you. <3

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I stumbled across this, bc I was looking up ways to safely leave my fiance. He does the same thing u described. he has peed on me in the shower, he screams at me and makes me feel so worthless, he even put my van in his name so i cant leave, when im sleeping i will wake up to being zip tied and him on top of me he shoves dirty socks in my mouth, he says it fun adn exciting to rape a woman. he wants to tie me to a tree and com rape me then come back and rescue me, he is sick, he needs help, i talked to his parents and they agreed but yet no one will help me, and yet here i am still with him and not sure how to get out.

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Hi jmpmc, I really, really feel for you. Have you tried contacting a domestic violence service in your area? They should be able to provide services to help you escape safely in the short term, and then services and counselling to help you get your life back together once you are safe. You are in danger when you try to leave. do this with the help of domestic violence workers so that you can leave safely. Please take care.
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Get an anonymous mailing address, through the Secretary of State where you live; they can also help you get a new name and social security number. That's my next step, 4yrs after the criminal and civil restraining orders failed to protect my premarital assets [bank accounts' security depends on integrity of customer service reps, at ING Direct], my car, pets, homes, both hands, foot, shoulders, long nerves, knee, left breast, etc from drug-assisted mauling with that gendered component that I shouldn't have reported: the horrific assaults went unprosecuted due to unanticipated sexism & victim blaming culture by [legendarily liberal, iconic even, west coast college town]. Trust your instincts. Intuition trumps pragmatism. I learned (am learning. I hope.) the hard way. It will be very, very lonely, esp. if your family and friends, like most, find what he's portrayed to them easier to understand than the crazy nonsensical waste that has been the reality. No one who's not been targeted by an intimate can process what that means. They shouldn't. If it happened to you, it could happen to them. That knowledge is crippling. I'm still seeking group therapy, to hash this out with folks who have been through it and found strategies for better success than my too-frequent relocations to unlikely places untenably within my phantom budget. Here's hoping you have a support system. The courts may not be helpful, at all, FYI: judges in Marin County regularly award custody to violent husbands, as wives are characterised as unable to care for their children given their diminished health, etc. Good luck.
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jmpmc84Though it's been a month - I'm going to type this out. Statistically - there is an 80% chance you've already taken him back into your life and that he's apologized and promised it won't happen again and that you've believed him. If that's the case - take a moment and read below....1. They call it "domestic abuse", "controlling behaviour" or "spousal abuse". Lets call it what it is: - Someone you love is committing criminal offenses against you and using your relationship status to beable to continue committing those offenses - behind closed doors, freely.

2. You can't really get out if this alone. Even if you are very courageous and tired of it. Your mind has been under the control of another person for some time now. You might even believe that you deserve it, or that you can change him, or that "underneath it all he's a good person". You are wrong. He will stop assaulting you only when he either has someone else to assault or you are dead. Love has nothing to do with this behaviour. It's a compulsion for him. Like an addiction. He cannot stop. He will not stop. He has no incentive to stop.

3. RUN. Tell everyone in your family that you need to escape. Hold on to their support. Call a women's shelter to find a safe place to go. Don't stay in a place with the door locks changed. He will find a way to get past those locks. He is compelled to do that. You will only be safe when you are removed from him by both time and distance.

4. BE STRONG. It takes monumental courage to get yourself to a place where you will be safe. If you think he'll change, or that your love is good enough. still RUN. That takes strength. That takes you knowing that your life has value and that he will take that life from you if he has the chance (even if he swears that's not true - it is).

This problem he has, it's not something that love solves. Love feeds the problem. Love makes it darker and worse. The only thing that changes the problem is to be deprived of love, forced to face his own "self" and forced to change or lose everything. If that can drive him into the hands of professional help - then that is all you can do. That is what you need to do. For you. For him. For the family that loves you and would morn your loss when they bury you.

 

Just run.

 

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Hello, and I apologize for responding back so late but I have recently came across my story, and I also would like to say thank you for the important inforation on getting a new identity, and that you are absolutley right about the courts might not being able to hurt me because after I testified agains him he has almost succeeded on killing me numerous of times and and that he just recently sexually abused me, and I know that he is not going to stop at nothing to get wat he want from me!!! and again ty for your comment , and may God continue blessing u♡ as he blesses me♡ And for the women and men who are being abused please be safe and have a blessed day
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