i think im developing hypochondria in a way, it started when i got blackout drunk and woke up not knowing what happened, thinking of the worst possible sitaution, that i had sex and now i have hiv. its not 100% irrational, i wokeup with a bubble like feeling about 2 inches in me and then the thoughts just started flooding in, but so did the symptoms.i told my doctor about it and i got an hiv test not long after i started to think this "i think it was at least 3 months after exposure" when the resualts were supposed to be inclusive, but since the test turned out negative i didnt belevie it, my doctor said the symptoms were likely due to anxiety/stress but its hard to beleive a lot mainly because i started getting a lot of the symptoms after the test was done. i went on health forums and they made be beleive i didnt have it so my anxiety calmed down a bunch then i came across a herpes forum and just kinda looked at it a bit not giving it second thought until i started thinking back and i remeber getting this painful pimple on the V area on my genitals where my leg would meet but i jsut put it off as a sweat pimple or an ingrown hair. now im looking more and more and starting to think more and more like that if i was mistaking razor bumps for outbreaks in the past or something because i origionally knew nothing about this virus and recently i got a pimple on my lipline! it stayed for like two days and then it "fell off" which isnt usually like pimples. im going to get a test for that at teh end of the month but i am freaking out I got a pap smear and i found out it was "abnormal" and that i should come back in 6 months for another one, i did so and sure enough it was abnormal again, my doctor said im gonna get a colposcopy which is where they have a better look at the cells with a camera but it was unlikely that the cells were cancerous because i was so young but was suprised that someone my age has it ( im 18) then my googling got the best of me and i found out your more vulnerable to getting cancers when you have HIV which scared me to death because i was putting 2 and 2 together, that i probably have cervical cancer die to HIV, i am getting the colposcopy at the end of october. which im scared to death of!!! NOW! i noticed an itch on my arm, i scratched it and looked at it and it started bleeding a little, i took a closer look and it looks like a molee !!! so now im inspecting my whole body and so far i see another one which looks like a mole and im not sure i had these before !! and of course when i think to myself dont worry your too young to have skin/cervical cancer i think, well maybe its cause you have HIV, and not only that its not unheard of. am i going insane? or are all these possibilities very real. its very frusterating because i feel like my dcotor brushes me off as it is, now i feel the need to go to him all the time. it feels like when i come out of the doctors im ready to go back. does anyone have any advice, stories, or comments? i need help