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I have been engaging in sexual activities with my girlfriend for a number of months now and for the past 4 weeks or so we have decided we should attempt sexual intercourse. I am a 17 year old, healthy male but I have been encountering some problems. We engage in a bit of foreplay first, mainly me stimulating her, but I always end up ejaculating before I even achieved an erection. I can achieve an erection large enough for oral activities but for some reason I can never seem to get it to a full erection. Even just cuddling her I find I have slightly ejaculated which consequently effects my ability to achieve a full erection after. I have no problem when I'm on my own at all it's only when it actually matters! I am comfortable with her completely and I don't know if it's because I'm not relaxed but by the time the condom is on it's too soft. I'm worried because it is really embarrassing and I imagine it must be frustrating her too. I don't know how to stop it though because I don't even notice that I am ejaculating, just the other day I was just kissing her stomach and before I knew it I had. Any help would be greatly appreciated because it is both embarrassing and frustrating I imagine for both of us. Thanks.

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Health Guru
9488 posts

Hi XenosX1. When you say you ejaculate with not feeling it happen is it actual semen or just precum because even with premature ejaculation you normally feel something before it happens. Are you able to hold an erection all the time when you masturbate and how long do you last before you ejaculate then?

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I think it is probably precum but even that I think is affecting my ability to achieve a full erection, . Yeah when masturbating I can hold a full erection for a decent amount of time, dependent on how long I have I can go at least 10 minutes and I can get an erection in about a minute but when with my girlfriend I struggle and it's not because I don't find her attractive because I most definitely do - I don't know what to try in order to help, I've seen things saying perhaps I need to relax more but I struggle to. I know I don't have anything like erectile dysfunction because I can get one and hold it any other time but maybe with her it's just the pressure or something I'm not sure. I don't know how to get it fully hard when I'm with her because when she does stuff it doesn't have time to get full erection, I don't know if I should try myself when with her to give myself one because I wouldn't ejaculate then but that might be weird I don't know.

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I'm not sure if it is worth masturbating not long before I next see her as that way I should be able to get aroused and get an erection by the time I then see her but without anything coming out because I had previously ejaculated so when I see her I can get aroused but there is no cum left if that makes sense?

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