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Hi I'm Oliver from yorkshire I came out as bi when I was 15 and am now 17. Its really hard to be bi, gay or lesbian it's so stressful and it hurts when you like a straight person and you know they'll never feel the same way. I just can't do with it anymore I'm beginning to be seriously depressed. I can't stand it when people think it's a choice it's really not. Today my Christian farind ask if I would like hellp. That mads me feel like being different is a sin and is a crime. I just want to be what people call "normal" again I googled how to be straight there was no help there I asked a sphcyatrist  and they weren't alowed to help. I'm thinking horrible thoughts and beginning to selfharm please help me be straight again thank you x 


Hi Oliver,

There are friends and then there are "friends".  From the way I'm reading your post you are looking for a relationship.

Your friend was truly trying to help.  Don't let this get between you.  Lots of people don't understand that it isn't a choice.  If your friend didn't care about you they wouldn't have offered, remember that.  They do care about you as a friend.  It probably wasn't easy for them to offer so think about it from their point of view and don't be so judgemental of them - they don't understand.  

It takes time to find that special someone.  Right now, you're probably still in school and you have a limited population to meet.  As you get a bit older and go into university then you'll begin to meet a great many people.  

Don't get frustrated.  It takes time to make a relationship.

Hang in there.



Thank you for the advice but I've had a girl friend for along time


Hi Oliver
Really sorry you are going through such a tough time your words are true and straight from the heart it is so tough being gay, bi, or lesbian at times.
Your desire to be so called normal is understandable but like you said sexuality is not a choice finding ways to understand being gay and coming to terms with it will give you the answers that will help you effectively deal with things.
I am so proud of you and respect you a great deal for having the courage to be open and honest about your sexuality when you were 15.
The psychiatrist can’t help you with turning straight but they can help you find support and provide you with the tools you need to get through the rough times.
Please check to see if there are LBGT support groups in your area or in your school and don’t be afraid to ask for help and except it when it is offered.
There are many young people going through the same thing as you are and struggling with dealing with it at times.
Hurting yourself is not the answer your family will always love you and your true friends will stick with you and support you. There will always be the odd time when you go through a bit of a rough stretch but when you have the supports in place to help you things get much easier.
If you are a kind caring person that truly cares for others and always tries to do the right thing if you’re a person that that your family and friends can count on when ever needed do you think that any of those qualities that make you such a good person are lost because of your sexuality.
You could end up being with your girlfriend forever if that is what is right for the both of you and if she loves you she will understand that you are attracted to guys as well.
There is a video called it gets better it may help to look at things like this and talking with other guys that deal with the same things daily would be so much help for you, at times we feel alone and isolated but there is help and support out there please look for it and accept the help when offered.
There is no shame in being gay, bi or lesbian and it is definitely not a sin or a crime the people in your life that can’t accept your sexuality don’t deserve to be part of your life.
So please don’t give up find that support group and get the help you need to make it through the rough times and soon enough you will be the one talking with and supporting other guys that are dealing with the same issues there is strength in numbers and there are many guys going through this as well and you can be a wonderful and inspirational support person for them and they will provide you with the kindness and understanding that will help you.