I am confused. I have known I like boys for a while now, but I keep on doubting myself. I am always saying to myself I have to get a girlfriend, because I want children, i want to make my family happy and also want to have a proper wedding. I also think to myself, I’m scared. I’m scared of coming out, i am scared that I might have to have anal sex and I am just scared that I might not be accepted and I would have a harder life. I just need some advice. Also, I’m scared if I do come out, that it would be really hard to find a boyfriend, and that I am a more ‘straight’ gay and would not like to be the stereotype ‘effeminate gay’.
It can be difficult to come to terms with being gay. When you struggling to accept your sexuality the doubts you have and feeling you will disappoint your family or friends are understandable.
Perhaps it may help to just focus on your own happiness and work on coming to terms with your sexuality.
The family you want and the proper wedding are possible if your gay and have a same sex marriage.
You don't have to do anal sex at anytime if it is something your not comfortable with then there is no need to do it.
Not sure how old you are but this might not be the time to even consider coming out.
You need to be completely comfortable with your sexuality and be sure the time is right for you to come out.
It may help you a great deal to see what LGBT services are available where you live there should be supports in your community and if your in school there could also be support services there as well.
Being gay does not mean that you have to be a certain type of a gay person just be yourself.
As you become more comfortable with yourself and your sexuality the things you are concerned about will all become less of an issue.
Your still the same person your family has always loved and supported and your friends like you for who you are being gay shouldn't change any of that.