My wife is traditional chinese. During our sexual times I like my anus played with and no I am not a reformed gay man. She doesnt seem to know this makes my penis hard and this is very important, I am of the older generation. She does not speak much english and my chinese is limited. Any suggestions?
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Just show her the way my friend. Take her hand and guide her or act it out on yourself. If you like oral stimulation there, it's easy enough to get her the message.
You obviously have a computer, look up some "gentle" anal intercourse or stimulation sites, you don't have to get to the raunchy ones. Show her what you like that way. She is your wife and she shouln't be offended.
Have fun;-)
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