I have been sexually active for month or so, with absolutely no complaints (except that pregnancy has been added to my list of things to be paranoid about 8-| ). It feels fantastic, my boyfriend is very sweet and doesn't do anything wrong, and I love it, but...I never orgasm during sex. I realize that this is not uncommon, and have tried to explain it to him, but he is very self conscious and won't stop beating himself up about it. I totally fail at quelling his fears, I don't really know how to explain things better... Ugh.
Please help me, what do I tell him? Or, rather, what should I have him do (or do myself) that will make him feel like he's doing a good job? Thanks much.
Please help me, what do I tell him? Or, rather, what should I have him do (or do myself) that will make him feel like he's doing a good job? Thanks much.
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whatever you do don't fake it - you could end up in a very dissatisfying sexual relationship otherwise!
experiment together - don't forget foreplay is very good for women and if you get close during and he finishes before you ask him to perform oral sex on you or wait to go a second time!
you'll have fun learning together and at least that way he'll know what to do and you'll find it satisfying too.
guys never listen when you tell them its not their fault!
experiment together - don't forget foreplay is very good for women and if you get close during and he finishes before you ask him to perform oral sex on you or wait to go a second time!
you'll have fun learning together and at least that way he'll know what to do and you'll find it satisfying too.
guys never listen when you tell them its not their fault!
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Thanks, Monkey. I really want to have more instances that we can focus more on foreplay. I'm sure that would at least help. To tell you the honest truth, I really don't mind not orgasming when we have sex, I really like to just get lost in the mental experience more than the physical...well, anyway, thanks again, I appreciate it :-)
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Over 75 percent of women NEVER get to feel orgasm. But its easier to get orgasm by oral sex. So, if he really wishes to give you an orgasm.. Tell him to go down town ;-)
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I wish to ask you a question on a statement of yours -"except that pregnancy has been added to my list of things to be paranoid about 8-| ).
So what are you doing to make sure this does not happen to both of you?
Have you though of going to your Doctor's office or to a Planned Parnethood Clinic for birth control pills?
Take him along with you, so he will get a education on this topic of female birth control. and ask for two types of birth control, the pills and a canal style barrier and use both of the all the time!! then the paranoid will leave your thoughts and enjoy the love & closeness, and may be you will start to clear up this "hold up" of Never Orgasming During Sex.
RT
So what are you doing to make sure this does not happen to both of you?
Have you though of going to your Doctor's office or to a Planned Parnethood Clinic for birth control pills?
Take him along with you, so he will get a education on this topic of female birth control. and ask for two types of birth control, the pills and a canal style barrier and use both of the all the time!! then the paranoid will leave your thoughts and enjoy the love & closeness, and may be you will start to clear up this "hold up" of Never Orgasming During Sex.
RT
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We use condoms, and I have birth control pills, but I'm waiting until my period starts to begin taking them. I really wish he would have gone with me to the Planned Parenthood clinic, but it was a slightly spur-of-the-moment trip to the next town...At the clinic, they made it sound like using a condom while I'm on the pill is unnecessary, but I've been hearing different recently. I'm not afraid of him having any sort of STD, and I know that the chance of getting pregnant whilst on the pill is still there, but...should I really be worried? Well, anyway, I appreciate your reply. Maybe I'll take another trip to the clinic just to make things totally clear. Thanks again ^_^
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Try to have fun with different positions, and a lot of four play... and hte occassionaly asking him to go down under before going strait into sex, its very intese and gives me the most intese sensations.
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If your not 100% sure on where your relationship is headed i would just continue to use both methods... for us, we stopped using condoms just over a yr ago and just rely on my BC (occasionally using condoms for something different) but we also decided that should i become pregnant we will be ready for it and be excited to add a little one to our lives.
Unless your ready to be responsible and be a parent and you and your partner can handle this then maybe go for it, my boyfriend and i havent had any issues as of yet but weve talked about what happends if by chance the BC isnt fully effective. Good luck and be smart.
also...
If your not 100% sure on where your relationship is headed i would just continue to use both methods... for us, we stopped using condoms just over a yr ago and just rely on my BC (occasionally using condoms for something different) but we also decided that should i become pregnant we will be ready for it and be excited to add a little one to our lives.
Unless your ready to be responsible and be a parent and you and your partner can handle this then maybe go for it, my boyfriend and i havent had any issues as of yet but weve talked about what happends if by chance the BC isnt fully effective. Good luck and be smart.
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Das,
The pill is only 99 percent effective. Some woman are super fertile. i I did have a friend that got pregnant and she was on the pill.
The pill is only 99 percent effective. Some woman are super fertile. i I did have a friend that got pregnant and she was on the pill.
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