its hard to put this into simple words..but my husband has a problem controlling his anger- the simplest things get an angry response from him. he is really sloppy around the house-his co-ordination is so low that he cant keep his clean clothes from his dirty clothes which all lie in the cupboard and make the whole room smell. after a LOT of big fights he has started to try to rinse his plate before putting it in the sink but he thinks he's doing me a great favor and doesnt want to have to listen to anything else or so anything else. i have just moved to live with him (we were living in seperate towns due to job issues) and although he says he is excited about being with me i just dont understand how its going to work if i am working 13 hrs a day and still trying to do everything in the house. any mention to him about something i am disappointed about pertaining to house work puts him in a frenzy and he starts calling me names and my mother too. he starts pushing me around and becomes really loud. he also has a problem with me paying a loan back to my parents (they loaned me 80k to go to grad school and i am paying back my parents currently by paying for my sister;s college tuition.) this has him pointing his anger towards my sister- who also he has gotten into many arguments with. when i dont bring up potential issues with him he's fine and a loving husband (we've been married only 4 mths but lived together for a ayear until about 10 months ago when we started living seperately because he moved out of town to pursue a job with a big company.) m

i just dont understand how to communicate to him that i need some more help with the house. if not that it would be nice if he could at least acknowledge if not appreciate all the work that goes into making the house a home. he says he doesnt care and he can live in filth (which is true- he wouldnt ever change the sheets or wipe the kitchen counter if i did'nt- to give you just a small example.)

i wish he was'nt so angry and he tried to understand what i am saying rather than go into an angry fit just bacuse its something to do with house work.

please please someone give me some suggestions.