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Hi, I'm a stayed home mom... have a 7 month old baby boy. My husband and I have been married for almost 2 yrs. He has threaten to hit me several times... he screams at me in front of the baby says bad words. Even if he gets mad in public he will not hide it... even raise his hand once to hit me but didn't (in a parking lot). I'm afraid that one of these days he will actually hit me or maybe worst.
His mom did everything for him since he was a kid... so now... the only thing that he does in the house is cut the grass and maybe take trash out. Everything else I have to do, including taking care of the baby... because he won't even change a diaper... and if I ask him to he gets upset. If I am tire and I decide not to clean the kitchen for example... I hear about it all night and all morning. He is very controlling; he is obsessed with the clock. If I go groceries shopping and leave the baby with him or even if I take him with me and take more than an hour or so... he gets really upset. If something doesn't go according to his plans he gets upset. I would propose going to therapy, but he will not. Not only because he doesn't believe in it but because is too expensive. I'm tier of this situation... what should I do?

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he hon you really need to get some help with this and Im sorry that you have to go threw something like this but if he is this way I would not leave the baby with him if he want change a diaper or do anything to help you out..I know it is hard having a baby and he don't help you out..but is there anyone out there you can tell like a friend or your mom or someone you trust..you both need to talk about this just make sure you have someone with you at the time so he does not hit you.you both need the therapy and he needs to go because thats not a healthy marriage..I would try and talk to his mom about the problem..I know its scary and all you should not have to go threw this. How long has this been going on?He has know right to talk to you like that or even raise his hand to you. I just pray that he changes for you and the baby. if you need to talk about anything just let me know and post back and let me know how you guys are doing. good luck to you and your husband.
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Hey just wanting to know if you are ok and if you and your husband are doing better!! post back and let me know.
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Well my husband never was better. We spent a lot of money to some anger management therapies, but nothing. He beat the cra** out of me in front of our 4 - year old son.

That was a wake up call for me and I realized that I need to do something about this. He needed to find the way to control his anger issues. He accepted my advice and he started to go to some group therapies. But nothing has changed. Nothing. He was worse, I think.

So, now I am divorced and I hear that he is beating his second wife as well. I believe that the only solution to get out of this is to realize what is your fault, what are your mistakes. 

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i know the feeling girl.i just got married back in july 2009. my husband and i was high school crushes. we mostly kindly grew up together same schools. live near each other. did the same things just at different times. He has an ex that he was with for 7 yrs. he has a two year old son with her. we get his son everyother weekend. before he met me he only saw him when she brought him around. he kept telling me he wants to be a good dad, so i told him go to court and get him. well he got married and had a rough start everything that could go wrong went wrong. including being homeless and living in a motel. we got back on our feet and he got joint custudy of his son and we see him all the holidays and everyother weekend. well its coming to the point now im 6 months pregnant due in may. n seems like im alone in it. now grant me he takes me to the drs and all but he bit***s if its ealier appointment and he has to leave work early. I have a rare condition called POTS(postural orthastatic tachycardia syndrome) it makes me pass out alot because i dont have enough blood to supply me and the baby. so i post to be on bed rest . i have a 3yr old dog and a new puppy 10 weeks old. two cats and two chinchillas. things ant going as well as i hope. he is getting upset and starting to scream at me. i passed out couple times he yells because he said he could shot my head off and think nothing of it because his problems will go away. i passed out to wake up with him slapping my face and even taken it as far as choking me because when i passed out i was gasping for air. (plus i got asthma ). He yells at me and if we get into fights he tells me he will leave because he has nothing to loose and i know i cant afford our home, more less all the bills are in my name. he also throws up my passed when i was raped after being with him by a stalker. i kept it from him for couple months until i could deal with it myself. i told him and he flipped out also. he just now paid his fine off from his gun charges and will be getting his gun back. i fear that he will blow and use it on me or the baby. he got upset when i told him to bath his son on a friday night and he said he can wait until saturday night because he didnt feel like it. its hard for me to bend over the tub since i am so far along. his son is two and doesnt sleep throw the night., he is used to sleeping with a cuppie and i broke him of it one weekend and when we got him back well his mother put him back on it. than he has been having really bad diaper rash. we get it healed up until he comes back to us again. i try talking to him to talk to the childs mother but he says he does but nothing is changing. he gets upset if i tell his ex what she needs to do to help this child. im trying to work on potty training him but i cant do it alone for just the six days we get him out of the month.my husband has taken it as far as yelling at me to forcing himself on me. its hard i do love him. the hardest thing is trying to get help before my baby is born. than knowing he is alone with his son and what just might happen to his son if he dont have anyone else to take the anger out on. Its hard because he treats his son with respect when he wants to play or eat but when it comes to bath time the boy screams because he hates baths so the husband dont want to deal with it. than when it comes to diaper changing its so hard. he changes him only if he has too. I feel so lost and confused on how to get help or what to do. i dont want to leave but sometimes he scares me to the point of what do you do. i know that he hurt a man in the past and got away with it. than i know his bike club will help him do anything even if it means breaking the law. so dont feel so alone in the spot because i got the same thing going on here. i mean he hasnt beat me to where i got any bruises on the out side of my body. but things are said, thrown and broken, its stressful. i just hope everyday he willl wake up and change or i find someway to make it in life. to keep what i got and raise my baby when she is born in may.god be with us
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Me and my husband have been together for 16yrs. And he is always blowing up about something. He is always starting fights with me. At first I just try and let him vent. But it doesnt always work. Everyday I wonder what kind of mood he is in and what is going to set him off. It could be anything from spilling something, dropping something, shutting a door to hard or anything. His biggest excuse now on why he acts like this is his job. And I do realize that he does work alot of hours and he is tired. But instead of him coming home and relaxing, he is always trying to find something to fight about. This just happen recently. My husband got rims and tires and someother things put on my SUV, and I told him that I didn't want it on there. He spent about $3000.00 on it. Well they messed up some stuff on it and he blamed me for it. He said that if it wasn't for me and my bad luck that is would have never happened. I told him that I didn't want it to begin with that he done it on his own. Then he told me that I don't appreciate anything that he does for me. And that I'm a selfish B*****! He want do anything hardly around the house. But when he does he thinks that you should praise him because if it wasn't for him it wouldn't ever get done. I have left him acouple times before but have came back. Because I don't make enough at my full-time job to live on my own. And he is always telling me that he is the bread winner in this family and at my job I don't do anything. I try and go to my sons baseball games and when I do it is always a fight. He doesn't want to go because he is tired but he thinks I shouldn't because there is something else that I could be doing at home. If I do go he is constantly calling me wanting to know when I'm coming home. And for my daughter, she is a senior now and goes to school part time and has two part time jobs. She puts one check in her savings to pay for her car note and ins and the other I told her to keep for gas and stuff. Well he thinks that she should put it all in savings so he will have control over it. He gives her a time limit to be home from work. If she is late we all hear it the rest of the night. If I leave he will make it very hard on the kids. We have a car for my son when he gets his license and my daughter has hers. But if I leave and they go with me, he want let them have their cars. Instead of it being between us he will make it about them too. And if I go I know they will want to go with me. I just don't know what else to do. Other than wait until our son graduates from high school and then leave. (In 3 more years)!
of the night. I have been thinking alot of leaving but he will make it very hard on the kids. He has done it in the past. I'm just stuck in hell.
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ok girls time to make a stand against these terrible men, everytime me and my husband have a fight he threatens to take my kid away from me or pretend that i've hit him to the police, i can't do anything anymore to make things right,luckily i had a session of counciling and she knows what's going on i know it's hard i loved this man to death but death is going to be my outcome if i stay with him. my husband developed erectile dysfunction and needs to use tablets to maintain hismself i'm forever trying to please him by cooking ,cleaning and i work full-time and he insists i pay half towards everything i feel so worthless and empty but i love him but today i have come to realize i am worthy of better than this and i am going to let this go, it is my 25th anniversary in a months time and i really don't care he has gone crazy and shouts and spits in my face and everything is my fault, i don't know about you girlies but his mother did everthing for him this is where the problem lies and also his mother left him when he was sixteen to go off with another man, i am paying the price for this i believe i sure could do with feedback as i'm really sad x:-(
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Jesus Christ- He is the only answer to your questions. I konow it sounds hokey, but let the Lord Jesus Christ enter into your life. Ask him,...don't be afraid. Learn and live the words for you first...Then teach him/her the words of Christ. Maybe even learn together. Then teach the words. You will find the happiness and love you seek. All that you ever are or will be is standing right in front of you. Change is up to you...let me tell you...it feels Amazing! This my Brothers & Sisters has been a Reality Check!
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I'm really sorry this is happening to you. I'm a 28yr old male, If I ever acted like that towards any woman I know in my family or my girlfriend I wuold have a black eye or a swollen groin. Your husband is a bully. It's not just the way he treats you, it's the way he copes with life. He needs serious help. Sad part is he will most likely never get it unless some serious event occurs where he is court ordered or has a break down of the heart and mind over some spiritual event such as death in the family, etc.

Anyway, I know its easier said than done but you have to get help. And most likely leave that man and move on with your life, start new. A person that treats you like that will only slowly kill your soul, your happiness, your drive to survive. stay strong, pray, really try and strengthen your own self for your kids and for you, it's all you got. again, sorry to hear this is happening to you
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I find it hard to believe these men went through radical personality changes after they got married, which raises the question why these women married them in the first place.
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6885 posts
If you ever find the answer to your question guest, please let us know. You would become rich publishing the answer to that one.

Remember back in high school when every girl you (Mr. nice guy) thought was hot was too busy dating some guy who treated her like sh*t to even notice you? I thought they outgrew that but I'm not so sure.

I have known many over the years who go from one to another and always pick the ones who hurt them. I met a waitress in the local diner about 30 years ago who was divorced because her husband beat the sh*t out of her. She soon took up with a guy I knew who had been married a few times and beat up on every one of them. She had no knowledge of his previous relationships. It wasn't more than a month when she was out of work for a while with a broken wrist. She took up with another guy and soon was out again with a broken leg. New guy and a broken ankle. Moved to Florida to get away and came back to visit with a broken arm.

How do they know how to pick them? That's a mystery to me. There has to be something that attracts them to the person because logic would say the odds are you couldn't possibly choose a beater every time. There has to be something in the pheremones that's linking them up.
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Hi? i thought im the only one had a problem like this, My husband had also anger problem that make me suffer, i can't understand his behavior, if he get upset he screaming yelling at me threatend talking a bad words.how many several time he hurt me.and im so worry because i have a new born baby now, he try to take my baby away if he get bad, throwing a hard something against me like picture frame.and im afraid that he gonna hurt me so bad someday, i love my husband i try to help him to see a syhcologist,but he refused me and mad at me and telling that he is not crazy.almost everyday he upset about his family the past that im tired listening with him, what shoud i do i need help please.
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Read the book "the men who hate women and the women that love them" Not only does it break down this type of behavior in men and identify where it comes from, but it helps you identify why you are attracted to men like this. Great book written by a psychologist that had many patients that married similar men. I pray for all you ladies.
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Hi,



My husband is also another sick f**k. We have been married for the past 9 years and share a 19 month old baby boy who we both love very much. just today he used had words on me and nearly thru the remote on me. As per him it's all the small thisngs that i do. I work and i contribute just as he does but nothing is ever good enough for him. I have been over looking all the threats made to me in regards to hitting me. But I Love him so much. i always think in my head that this is the last time. Today i wanted to just go to him and ask him to just strike me and just get it over and done with. But if he does do this to me I don't know what i might do. I would most likely strike him back I'm capable of it. Someone told me resently that LOVE makes a person very weak it's true it's done it to me.
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I am married to the same jerk. We married six weeks after meeting; so, no warning sign. He calls himself a Christian and never misses a church service. He can quote every scripture. I, however, am a Christian. And, I pray that God delivers me from this hell he(my husband) has put me in. We have been married 12 long years. He shares all of the same characteristics and upbringing that was previously submitted. Plus, he stays up all night stomping back and forth, turning lights on, and slamming doors. He never keeps a job and will always blame me for his shortcomings. Girls, "LOOK DEEP BEFORE YOU LEAP." Divorce Court quote.
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