My bp 1 husband of 12 years for the first time ever left a month ago today after a small fight that turned into a manic blow up on the eclipse and moved overnight cross country to his moms and brothers he had her bus him and his son overnight to her and spent quite a bit of money doing it as well. After 11 years of being medicated he went off them about 6 months ago after having a bad side effect and wasn't really good about taking the new meds he was prescribe maybe got out of habit I don't know. I didn't realize he had stopped taking them altogether till after he left and I found almost full bottles in the cupboard. I just noticed he has been more irratable and much, more angry with lots of blowups than usual ,but we had a appointment to see the psych doctor at the end of the month so I thought we would address it then. It was at such a point the last two weeks we had been sleeping in seperate bedrooms because he was so mean and kept telling me he didn't want me in there. Before he left it was the day before school started , he was slated to quit his 2 low paying jobs and start his new high paying job in a week, and we were supposed to look at enrolling his very troubled teenage bp son into a behavioral institute in two weeks as well. We've been talking finally . After several days of silence he told me he loved me he missed me and dreamt about me every night . He says I am the hardest addiction he has ever had to break and he craves being with me . That I am absolutely the best he has has ever been with. We talked for a week straight off and on good and bad. Then when he posted a meme to me about him having to break his own heart by walking away then by staying and dying a little everyday and I shot back about it suggesting he was at fault he stopped talking to me. Then he started talking a couple days later and I think he is rapid cycling manic. He says he's sorry and he is sorry he is a crazy f**k up and he failed me and is holding me back in life. He won't come back home says there is no saving us that we will have better happier life's apart . It sounds like his family is putting major pressure and financial guilt to stay on him because they spend over $2000 getting him down there and they are helping him put down a deposit on a apartment when he finds one. Till then he is staying with them. Now he decided he won't talk to me so he can get over me quicker . He is currently looking for a job and a apartment down there. It's been four weeks so is this it? Am I never going to see my husband again? Is he just totally threw with me or is there a hope he might cycle and change his mind in my favor again ?. He says he dreams about me every night and his heart aches for me ,but he says it's too late for us, for our marriage , and our family. He says I just hurt him too bad, he says he is never going to date again, or have sex, or be in a relationship again , and just wants a divorce but all he wants out of the house is his wedding ring so he can wear it and be faithful and our wedding photo above the bed. He says he will love me and miss me till the day he dies . He is looking for a apartment and a job down there and enrolling his son in school up there. I don't think his family will let him come back because they spent so much money getting him down there and then when manic he made me out to be horrible and made it seem like I kicked him out instead of he left. They think we are toxic together ,but it is the bipolar when it flares up not us. They also don't think he is bipolar that it is just me stressing him out and they don't believe in medication. I think the new and better life thing is from them. I have thought of writing them letters but I don't know if they will believe me or if I will further alienate him. I have tried everything I can think of to reason with him and let him know I forgive him and I am here for him and I want to work this out and have told him over and over I am not hurting him his illness is and he is projecting onto me because bipolar people often lack insight . I have told him he needs to get back on his meds and seek treatment . He says he is fine now that he is down there and away from me. I have said and tried everything I can think of and I finally just told him after he pushed for the divorce again that let's push pause on the divorce talk and I would give him his space . Any ideas on how to get him home where he belongs? Any hope that he'll come back?