My husband & I have been married for almost 11 years now.  I fell in love with who he represented himself to be when we were friends & then dating.  But after we got married, he slowly started changing.  He blames me for his bad decisions, & tells me I'm stupid.  He has told me I'm ugly, he hates me, that he's keeping himself from hitting me, & once that he wanted to hit me upside the head with a baseball bat.  He's made me literally spend 16 hours once crawling on all fours except to go to the bathroom, or get him food or drink...I wasn't allowed to eat or drink during that time period.  I've been made to sleep on the floor more times than I care to count.  And he's threatened to kill himself, & a couple of times threatened to kill me & then himself.  He's never actually laid a hand on me, but the threats are horrible.  He tells me I'm a selfish (insert bad word) & I only think of myself & how to hurt others.  But my family & friends who've known me my whole life say the exact opposite of me.  I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to make him feel special.  The biggest trigger with him is if I don't run a game right.  He's really into tabletop role play games (like Dungeons & Dragons, thought the last one was Star Trek).  If I don't get it right, he flies off the handle, & everything is my fault.  I'm a college student, & this stress interferes with my work.