i'm scared that my depersonalization wont go away

I am 23 and suffering from depersonalization. It first triggered when I was 10.. I was taking shower and seeing myself in a mirror I started asking the mirror all sorts of questions..like who am I and y ? Suddenly I felt very different and depersonalized.. I shook my head and came out of it.. I actually enjoyed it. I started doing this 4-5 times a year until 3 months ago I couldn't come out of it. I am stuck , I am seeing a psychiatrist who says I will be alright. He will start medication from 13 th Jan.. though he said I will naturally get out of this problem.
It is very tough when you don't understand your existence..you remember everything but yet it is so difficult to understand yourself..when coupled with anxiety it is the most difficult thing to face. Within DP , the worst thing is you are unstable always.. Sometimes . rarely, would go away but when it returns it strikes more powerfully.. Will it ever go away ?

I felt the same thing back in 2008 exactly the same way too and I also got high when the depersonalization happend I was in my room for 5 months and felt very ill I got better tho but took a long time to get the foggyness and focus back I also felt exactly the same way you described honestly but now its 2011 month February day 13 and in the beginning of the year I had a panic attachat really krippled me again but it came back 20 times stronger all I have to say is please stay away from stress I'm hanging in here and I hope I can come out of it soon

Hi all you good people!

i have never shared any of my experience on a blog,i was suffering from depersonalization for almost a couple of months,it all started after smoking marijuana a few times,the more i read about it,the more i felt it,and i was at a stage i thought commiting a suicide is the only way out.

i was desperate for help,i wanted to live but not the life i was living, right now i am perfectly fine cant express in words when i think how wrong i was about the life,and how it should be lived. i feel as if i have a whole new body with a new mind and thoughts.

if there is anybody who is on the verge of giving up to this disorder,who cant fight anymore.,one who needs answeres to all his questions can either ***this post is edited by moderator *** *** private e-mails not allowed **
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for people who have other hopes like taking medications and going to a councellor and all,thats a good news,people who have no hope can email me.

cheers!

I'm also 15, and yes I also got dp from smoking pot. I smoked pot two nights in a row, the next day boom. I was never a depressed person I have lots freinds, really nice parents. I did'nt understand what was happening to me, my head felt empty, I was dizzy, and I was like a robot that was not in control of my own body. I had weird sensations when I ate food, so I stopped eating all together. I was constantly getting sick and throwing up, headaches, and chestpains. My short term memory was gone, I had these strange panic attacks where I  felt like I was chokeing and my heart felt like it was going to burst. My attention was so bad that I could'nt even follow the plot of a simple comedy. I had strange thoughts, I questioned creation, existence, and my own sanity. One delusion I had was that I had actually died that day I smoked pot, and that since then I was living in some kind of eternal hell that stifled the life from my very spirit. I thought that my mind was damaged beyond any repair, and that I had no choice but to drift through life as a mindless drone. I searched the internet to find an answer, a hope. I discovered my symptoms were increidibly similar to Depersonalization. And that many of the people who had developed this disorder also smoked pot as a teenager. I obsessed over the computer screen reading every article, and the more I read the worse I felt. I tried breathing deeply, and pinching myself, but had no emotions. I was empty, I gave suicide a vey serious thought. But then a new thought appeared in my mind, a revolutionary thought. What if It was me? What if my fear, my trying to find a reason for the way I felt was causing me to be sick? Ironic isn't it? That my search for a reason to why my life was being ruined, was the actual cause for my destroyed life. So I shut off the computer, ignored the strangness in my vision, and simply went on with my life. And do you know what happend? It went away, all of it the pain, the headaches, blurred vision, the emptiness, all of it. I had found the cure. You see depersonalization isn't brain damage, or tramitization, it's obsession. It's an obsession that acts as a parasite devouring the very fabric of our being. But there was still a strange lurking fear in the back of my mind, that all though I thought I was better. That in reality it was just another illusion, that I was lying to myself and I was really sick. So two days ago I looked up one video about derealization and it all came back, I vomited I could'nt sleep it was terrible. And today I still feel this way. But I now realize that me questioning my own recovery was just another manifestaion of the disease I had defeated, and that I really was cured. And now I know that to truley defeat your dp you must move on and never look back. So I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do and I suggest those of you stareing, reading this with wide blurry eyes and a pained heart to do too. I'm going to finish typing this, turn off my computer, and move on with my life. Because when we are in a time of doubt and worry, and all seems hopeless then there is nowhere else to turn but to stride forward with courage and dignaty and climb the obstacles that stand in our way. You and only you can decide your fate.

Look I'm 14 years old and have suffered with depersonalization and derealization all my life constantly 24/7. I honestly cannot remember a time in my li fe where I felt like I was in reAlity. So a result of that I thought that feeling like life was a dream was normal and that everyone felt this way. That is until one day I looked up my symptoms. I've always felt like I wasn't really alive and I still question whether this is reality or not. I'm used to living this way and only thinking about it makes it worse for me. Because there's no cure. Your not getting out anytime soon Hun if it's a chronic thing like mine. I'm sincerely sorry though. It helps me if I just pretend like lifeit is a dream but I then start to manipulate peoples emotions for my entertainment. I'm suicidal too so if I concentrate on how I'm never going to be fully "there" then I want to kill myself. Just dont end up in a hOspital like I did and you'll be good:)

Hey my names cody im 15 and I was suffering from depersonalization I think it sarted about 10nights ago when me and my friend got home we started to smoke some pot and we smoked a bowl went inside and chilled and laughed and did normal sh*t when your high we fell asleep and the next day as soon as we woke up we smoked another bowl afternoon came ok time for another bowl around 11:30 ish we smoked another bowl around 2:30 we snuck out and you won't be able to geuss what we did....we smoked a bowl but this went on and on and on and...it felt like I would never come down... It happened around the 6th it's the 16th and I smoked from the 6th to the 11th and then I didn't smoke any more and I can't remember any thing that happened on those days and from the 11th on I don't feel normal I know it's impossible but I still feel high and I forgot to say that I have never smoked that much in my life the most I smoked was a bowl and we were passing it back and forth and that's why I thought it was depersonalization cause I don't feel normal and I don't remember what normal is....it's gotten a little better so any help would be good thanks

Hi, my name is Chelsea, I'm 19 and ive been suffering from depersonalization for about two weeks now, its extremely hard and difficult for me right now, and i would love if we could talk. Im need of help really bad at the moment, because none of my friends no what im going through or how to help me, and i need some support.  ***this post is edited by moderator *** ***
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thank you

im 18 years old and ive had it for 3 years. in those 3 years it went away for one hour. ive suffered from depersonalization every waking minute since then. it all started one night i got too stoned. ive never smoked since that night. sometimes it gets so bad i feel like im going into coma. everytime i try to underline the reason i feel this way my head burns to the point of passing out. i went to crosspointe and they couldnt diagnose me. therapist told me good luck and medicine makes it worse. i feel pretty hopeless. but im not about to let it win. i fight it every second and i even got "Im still Alive" tattoed on my arm to remind me every day to fight it and surpress the feelings.

I understand exactly what you are going through man I had those same problems of depersonalization. I just want you know that I don't have it anymore, so that means it can go away. I got it from having a panic attack from smoking weed. The way to get through is not only to exercise but to get a idgaf attitude. Honestly don't let dp run your life just go with the flow. Yes it sounds impossible but once you cope with it and let it go you then cAn enjoy your life again. Depersonalization is like this basically if you just sit around all day on forums you will feel worst. If you get out the house and not care about you will learn to deal with it a lot more. Trust me you can't develop scizophrenia or any other mental disorder from depersonalization, I though the same thing. Don't these symptoms just let them be and live your life you only have one!

Hello im 20 years old and im now on the recovery from anxiety/depression and depersonalization. It all started after I had been very stressed at work for months and have always been an anxious person but it had been getting worse. I was feeling low and unhappy and when I look at it now I was ill. I was close to tears all the time and just wanted to sleep to get away from it all. I've got great freinds family and girlfreind but that still didn't get my out this slump. A couple of weeks later my grandfather passed away and at his funeral I fell into a state where I didn't feel.anything no emotion or didn't feel real and unattached from life I thought I was just tired and thought id sleep it off. It however lasted for months and was terryfying I felt I wasn't real and the scary thoughts going through my head were awful. I saw a doctor and went on anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. And also attended an anxiety group. Beleive me when I say this talk to people about how you feel do not bottle it in. This gave me great relief when I was told this out of touch feeling is called depersonalization its a state the brain takes to protect you from the way your feeling and the best way to get rid of it is to go with it take it for what it is and it will pass it can't hurt you or control you I laugh about it now but I know its horrible. So see a doctor get ways to deal with your anxiety and depression eat healthy and exercise and talk about how you feel. The support I got and relief I got when I spoke out was great and also beleive you will get better times a healer.

God bless :)

Hey buddy I just posted as a guest about 5 minutes ago read it hope it helps. The hardest thing but best thing to do is not pay your dp any attention the more you give it attention the stronger it gets just go with it but you need to find the trigger of your anxiety that has caused your dp as dp is an off shoot of anxiety not schitzo diabetes etc beleive me I went through every illness before I accepted it was just anxiety. It cannot hurt or control you but if you just go with it it will pass in time but talk to a doctor aswell man and your family and freinds all illnesses take time to heal In different times with different strategies all the best mate. Beleive you'll look back on this as a stronger person and a new found appreciation for life like i have

Do u still check this, I could use some help if so. please

wow, I've been through the EXACT same thing. it is an incredibly scary experience and you feel so alone. like nobody could possibly understand. and to even mention it to someone (like a parent) is so hard to do...you don't want to focus on it, but you literally can't take your mind off of it. i've had episodes of depersonalization that have lasted a couple weeks to months long. i remember getting a month or 2 long episode after a night of drinking as well... woke up the next day feeling really off and that feeling persisted for months. I remember looking at the calender each day and thinking, wow why hasn't this gone away... has it? Sometimes i couldn't taste food for a couple seconds. I was totally detached and felt I couldn't relate to anybody...and again, you don't want to say anything to anyone. you just try to act normally. I told my mom a couple times and she said I was just stressed... which is true. 100% of it is anxiety and stress, and our brain's way of protecting itself from harm. So unbelievably scary though! But you will get through it... even if you don't know when, you WILL. TRY to relax and have faith that things will return to normal. I've been through it all... the identity crises, extreme depression, anxieties... still going through it now. But I BELIEVE I can get better and stay better. It's all a part of your story and life journey. Everyone is different and has their own problems. Hope you're doing better

guys honestly dont complain i have had depersonalization for three years. im f*****g 15 years old. i smoke weed everday. i just live with it. if u realize ur mind is just playing a trick on u its all good. f**k what the rest say if they have never lived with it.

do not! i repeat do not go for weed as your release! i am reading all these things from people like yourself and noticing my own problem's (like depersonalization and depression! insomnia etc) and although i realise now i may have had these problems all my life, i know from 1st hand experience that weed only accelerates any mental issues you have over a prolonged abuse! i can deffo say that having a smoke once a month for example with a little meditation may help you centre yourself, but please please do not let the mental attachment that weed posseses take over, it can make life a living hell! 3 days of smoking in and you can find yourself fully addicted if you have any sort of anxiety based symptoms!

i know of only one cure for the way i feel, and its riding my motorbike! im very lucky to have something that forfills my desires, even if i can rarely do it because it costs so much! but jus the reminder that i have it pulls me along that little further, it at east reminds me theres a reason for me,even if we are jus bacteria on planet earth!

there is a growing minority of depressed people like ourselvs and i think our only reminder that with these emotions we have wrongly developed, we dnt jus have to feel bad we can feel good too! you jus need something you love doing! and i know what some of you will say! nothing makes me happy! ive said it for years and its very simple! if your seritonim levels are low,(and that could be a syptom of most mental illneses! ) then theres one answer!

Adrenalyn!
adrenalyn is our biggest friend! it is genetically perfected for our very survival and will over power anything you put in its way!

climb a tall tree! do a rope swing! race a motorbike! f**k it if you see some nice garden fences wile out one night and you feel like running go for it!

and tell the nearest person how alive you feel!

i hope you all take the time too read this and that it helps anyone that does!

Thnx Jay Dunn