Few (3 and a half) weeks ago I smoked pot for the first time. In two weeks I smoked 3 times (on vacation - those were my first times). And stopped after that.
It was going fine for day or so, but another day I felt like people are watching me kinda weird and for moment didn't feel like myself. I thought it might be because I have depressed look on my face and circles around my eyes from not sleeping but partying all night etc.
So I tried to google "marijuana withdrawal symptoms" and many of symptoms were implicating as if I'm suffering from marijuana withdrawal.
But then I googled more; even visited sites that I checked before smoking (like Wikipedia), found that marijuana can trigger severe mental illness like schizophrenia. But when I first looked (before smoking) on Wiki I just saw things like "alcohol is more dangerous that marijuana bla bla" and said to myself "then I will try it". But that about schizophrenia really worried me later when I found out about that.
And ever since I red "that" I was being pretty paranoid and anxious. Therefore I researched even more (I like to study and am pretty curios person) and I found that weed can cause these symptoms. Especially anxiety; and anxiety can cause more symptoms that I have: Trouble sleeping, questioning everything around me and derealization, depression, vivid dreams, fear of going crazy etc.
I maybe started off topic but I think it's all sort of connected. Because some symptoms are schizophrenia like and some anxiety disorder like. Finally I found some "promising" answers that kinda helped me get back on the road of sanity.
We all have a fear of going mad or losing control but rest assured you are not going mad. Going mad is not a conscious act; those who are suffering from severe mental illness are unaware of their journey into it. You are not going mad. Confused nervous messages to the brain along tired nerves in a tired body do not constitute madness.
Thoughts are an unconscious product of brain activity. If you are anxious, angry, sad or stressed your thoughts are affected, not only by mood, but also by your physical body chemistry. Blood oxygen levels can affect brain activity and the central nervous system, as can many other bodily chemicals like adrenaline, hormones and even vitamins. These un-pleasant thoughts, emotions and totally irrational fears are not harmful to yourself or others. Any thoughts of harming yourself or other people are perceived only. As your body becomes more relaxed and less anxious your thought processes will return to normal.
But even so, other symptoms that are also symptoms of schizophrenia like "trouble focusing on what are people talking" "trouble talking myself" sort of social withdrawal (to be honest I usually don't go out to much but with my best friends and faculty colleague and was always kinda shy person) and going rather home and research about this on internet then going out on Saturday evening, because I'm scared people might look me weird or that I will say something funny and they will mock me.
So do I suffer from some severe mental illness? I'm pretty scared mostly because I was successful and cheerful young person before I tried marijuana, and I am pretty scared that it triggered some serious disease. And now these symptoms kinda ruined my life. My social relationships, my sleep. I'm all day worrying I'm going nuts!
Please Help! :( :?
you are definitely not going crazy. it is just anxiety.
anxiety makes you feel detached from others and often yourself. you go into a dissociated state.
anxiety also makes you fear developing insanity/schizophrenia.
I've been better lately. Most of the symptoms aside from the fear of going crazy and the depersonalization and derealization are gone. :-D
However those two (depersonalization adn derealization are pretty same thing) know to trigger my anxiety,depression, fear and stress. But I learned how to cope with them and to reduce their effect on my mind and body.
I've been reading good books about depersonalization (dr as well), one by Mauricio Sierra (a new look at the neglected syndrome) and other by Daphne Simeon (Feeling Unreal) cause after really chronic depersonalization due to marijuana intoxication I've had few other but less intense episode of depersonalization...lasting from few seconds to few days...for example I was suffering from microscopia (everything that i carry or touch feels small) then hazy and sort of dream state..as well as foggy or shimmering state...few days i've lost the feeling for depth and everything looked flat and distant from me...but with reading about depersonalization and learning why and how (only it theory) it happens helps a lot :-)
however..this is maybe of topic a little :-D
thank you for your kind replies..i hope as well that this is not some really insidious mental illness growing along..I would be the most happier person if it would be just dp for whole life..because there is no better comfort then when authors of books say to you that if anything depersonalization is just the opposite of mental illness and since i'm afraid of mental illnesses this would contribute to my fight against the fear of getting mental illness :-D