bambi- haha yeah. i see where you are coming from. and I think thats what i'm just going to do. but yes, it is a biiiggg decision and i agree, it seems easier for a girl to experiment, and then come back, than a guy. but yeah. he is a really good friend.
Healthfitnessguy- absolutely i'm happy to that he accepts me for who i am. and thats an interesting way to think of it. that he might be trying to get me to 'come out' so he can feel comfortable to 'come out' to. but you're also right, it could be totally NOT that. but he'd still be my friend. and actually. i asked him why he suddenly told me that, and i ask "are you bi or gay or something?" in probably not the right type of tone, but he replied " cause i wanted to be a good friend, and that if i had a friend, i'd want to that friend to tell me the same thing-- if i was that" SO....i'm not really sure how to take that now. but i'm pretty sure that it isn't an 'invitation, as you put it.
Healthfitnessguy- absolutely i'm happy to that he accepts me for who i am. and thats an interesting way to think of it. that he might be trying to get me to 'come out' so he can feel comfortable to 'come out' to. but you're also right, it could be totally NOT that. but he'd still be my friend. and actually. i asked him why he suddenly told me that, and i ask "are you bi or gay or something?" in probably not the right type of tone, but he replied " cause i wanted to be a good friend, and that if i had a friend, i'd want to that friend to tell me the same thing-- if i was that" SO....i'm not really sure how to take that now. but i'm pretty sure that it isn't an 'invitation, as you put it.
Loading...
Yeah, well, trust me. I had a crush on my best guy friend in high school (yeah, probably should've mentioned that before) and it was confusing for me because now I am what I'd call straight, but at the time i really do think I loved the guy. He is also totally straight, but we did end up fooling around once or twice and never really talked about it. I don't think it's so fun to go that route to be honest--there's no real emotional connection there. You know what? If I had to do it again, I'd tell you that friends are forever and lovers are temporary. So maybe it's best to just cultivate him as a friend. He's clearly forward enough to hit on you if he's interested in the future if he's forward enough to tell you that he accepts you.
Whew. does this help?
Whew. does this help?
Loading...
haha yes. makes a world if difference that u did have feelings for u guy friend. And thats how i kinda feel right now. like in love. lol but what i'm doing now is basically just cultivating it as a friendship. I guess what i'm doing right now is, being there as a friend for him, but keeping a spot set aside, if he were to be feeling the same as me. lol if that makes any sense, and you are totally right. he is very straight forward, so i guess i would know if he did or not. So yep, taking the friendship route, and its working out pretty well.
umm another problem( im sorry it seems like i'm a relentless source of problems) well not really a problem, but major event. was....
well his gf had cut herself because of some problems, and he cut himself to get across a point that cutting oneself doesn't only affect that person, but also the people around them. he was really mad and frustrated that she did that to herself and made her promise to not cut herself, cause then he'd cut himself. but the thing that disappointed me was, he started cutting up his own leg really bad, even after he said that, and he didn't even call me to talk to me about, even though i told him i'd be there for me. i had a really stern talking to him, and we're pretty good on that. and he's agreed that he'd call me if something like that came up again. and in a way, this little tear in our friendship actually made our friendship even stronger. sorry about long post!
umm another problem( im sorry it seems like i'm a relentless source of problems) well not really a problem, but major event. was....
well his gf had cut herself because of some problems, and he cut himself to get across a point that cutting oneself doesn't only affect that person, but also the people around them. he was really mad and frustrated that she did that to herself and made her promise to not cut herself, cause then he'd cut himself. but the thing that disappointed me was, he started cutting up his own leg really bad, even after he said that, and he didn't even call me to talk to me about, even though i told him i'd be there for me. i had a really stern talking to him, and we're pretty good on that. and he's agreed that he'd call me if something like that came up again. and in a way, this little tear in our friendship actually made our friendship even stronger. sorry about long post!
Loading...
Hi honey! Cutting has been a part of society for a LONG time, in "my day!!!" It was used to write in the name of a loved one, also I had guy friends who used to burn themselves with cigarrettes!!!!!! I remember a dear guy friend of mine doing that to himself when I and he were about 16, he STILL has the scars on his hands from it! I was disturbed, but I KNEW it was because he was hurting and upset! And we never talked about it - strange how us as teenagers just accept things as like a "Huh!!!"
For your friends gf to be cutting herself, while she is in a relationship, means that something BIG is happening, or that even with this relationship she is still unhappy! NOW with your friend cutting himself, this is more uncommon with boys than it is for girls! Girls have always been dramatic, where boys are more destructive! A girl will make it more visual, and a boy will react, such as punching a hole in a wall or punching someone else even! So I am perturbed that he is doing this to himself! I really have to wonder if he is questioning his own sexuality right now! You can't be totally out there, and think it is ALL you with these feelings, and perhaps he has similar feelings and thinks of himself SO badly that he is hurting himself! And when he told you, that you could basically tell him anything, I think it's time for you to return the favour!
Don't ever chastize someone for hurting themselves honey! He's hurting as is she! So both of them need to talk to someone about it! IF he can't talk to his parents or a counsellor, he need to get this off his chest, and it should be his best friend honey - and that's you! Just know it COULD be what you DO want to hear, also it COULD be what you DONT want to hear!
IF he has ZERO homosexuality tendancies, then keeping your feelings about it him to the side for later, later is NEVER going to happen honey! And also like I said before, this is a VERY emotional hormonal time for both of you - and every other teenager under the sun - it DOESN'T Mean that both or either of you ARE gay! OK?!! As time goes on you will be able to work that out - once those bloody hormones settle down - ;-) 8-| XD But for now, you keep this information between yourself, the walls and me OK? And IF he decides that he thinks the same way as you, then you HAVE to take this VERY slowly for both of your sakes and both of your futures! Being Gay nowadays is WAY more acceptable that when I was your age, BUT that said, it is a HUGE step honey! And I am just worried for both of you that's all, because like I said before as well, when a girl experiments, it's no big deal, when I guy tries it OR is Gay that's a different road entirely OK? IF you are gay, then you are gay!! No Shame, no punishment etc. BUT when you embrace what you are, there are consequences to that right? Just as if you were 100% no question at all, heterosexual, and you went forth and had sex with several girls etc, there WILL be consequences eventually!
So sit, listen, and WAIT!! And above all honey HEAR!! Hear what he has to say! And if you need some more help or advice I'm on here OK? Good luck honey! Much hugs!
For your friends gf to be cutting herself, while she is in a relationship, means that something BIG is happening, or that even with this relationship she is still unhappy! NOW with your friend cutting himself, this is more uncommon with boys than it is for girls! Girls have always been dramatic, where boys are more destructive! A girl will make it more visual, and a boy will react, such as punching a hole in a wall or punching someone else even! So I am perturbed that he is doing this to himself! I really have to wonder if he is questioning his own sexuality right now! You can't be totally out there, and think it is ALL you with these feelings, and perhaps he has similar feelings and thinks of himself SO badly that he is hurting himself! And when he told you, that you could basically tell him anything, I think it's time for you to return the favour!
Don't ever chastize someone for hurting themselves honey! He's hurting as is she! So both of them need to talk to someone about it! IF he can't talk to his parents or a counsellor, he need to get this off his chest, and it should be his best friend honey - and that's you! Just know it COULD be what you DO want to hear, also it COULD be what you DONT want to hear!
IF he has ZERO homosexuality tendancies, then keeping your feelings about it him to the side for later, later is NEVER going to happen honey! And also like I said before, this is a VERY emotional hormonal time for both of you - and every other teenager under the sun - it DOESN'T Mean that both or either of you ARE gay! OK?!! As time goes on you will be able to work that out - once those bloody hormones settle down - ;-) 8-| XD But for now, you keep this information between yourself, the walls and me OK? And IF he decides that he thinks the same way as you, then you HAVE to take this VERY slowly for both of your sakes and both of your futures! Being Gay nowadays is WAY more acceptable that when I was your age, BUT that said, it is a HUGE step honey! And I am just worried for both of you that's all, because like I said before as well, when a girl experiments, it's no big deal, when I guy tries it OR is Gay that's a different road entirely OK? IF you are gay, then you are gay!! No Shame, no punishment etc. BUT when you embrace what you are, there are consequences to that right? Just as if you were 100% no question at all, heterosexual, and you went forth and had sex with several girls etc, there WILL be consequences eventually!
So sit, listen, and WAIT!! And above all honey HEAR!! Hear what he has to say! And if you need some more help or advice I'm on here OK? Good luck honey! Much hugs!
Loading...
Well, that's how friendships work. You will end up fighting with people you care about and then strengthening those bonds. If your friendship doesn't withstand that sort of test then it wasn't that strong to begin with. HOw are things going with him?
Loading...
bambi- um you shouldn't be TO 'perturbed' cause you're right about the being destructive part. he has punched a hole through the wall before, or broken his door when he was mad. He doesn't cut when he feels bad. the reason why he cut was to essentially 'scare'? his gf to stop cutting herself. so was basically it was like 'don't cut yourself anymore, cause when u cut yourself it doesn't hurt just you, it hurts me to." and he cut himself to 'show' how it hurts him as well. but he doesn't cut like that tho. so maybe your theory about him questioning his sexuality might be wrong. in fact. i'm very very vERY sure he's extremely sure of his sexuality. but still thank you again. and i will listen. thankss
hfg- things are going alot better with him. i'm relieved that the whole drama has blown over mostly. i think that our friendship will last a very very long time.
hfg- things are going alot better with him. i'm relieved that the whole drama has blown over mostly. i think that our friendship will last a very very long time.
Loading...
Hi honey! I thought you said that he cut up his leg pretty badly even after what happened! I STILL don't know how to do the quote thing!!!! XD IF he hasn't cut himself AT ALL before or after showing her, then that's one thing, but if he has that's another - which I went into my diatribe about! ;-)
Loading...
you're right i did say he cut his leg up even afterwards. when I was talking to him about it, he told me that he was just soo frustrated about the situation, because another friend was basically the 'first domino in the line' and he got really mad. he didn't want to put another hole in the wall (like i mentioned before-his dad got really mad at him for doin that) and so he cut 2 on his arm to show his gf. but then he started cutting his leg--because of the situation, and he was 'caught up' in the moment. like he was just soo mad that he couldn't think straight? and so thats why he began cuttin his legs.. at least thats what he told me, and i'm pretty sure he didn't lie.
about the cutting himself before thing. well when he was younger maybe 5-7 grade when i didn't know him, he used to do a LOT of INSANELY weird things. like...staples in a rulers, and yeah...or he used to have 'pain' competitions ?? and like stick needles. idk. that might have been exaggerated by people, but i think he's told me he used to cut long time ago. he said that he was stupid back then, and i'm thinking he was just confused about where he was in the world (not like sex orientation wise). soo i don't know if that has any significance.
about the cutting himself before thing. well when he was younger maybe 5-7 grade when i didn't know him, he used to do a LOT of INSANELY weird things. like...staples in a rulers, and yeah...or he used to have 'pain' competitions ?? and like stick needles. idk. that might have been exaggerated by people, but i think he's told me he used to cut long time ago. he said that he was stupid back then, and i'm thinking he was just confused about where he was in the world (not like sex orientation wise). soo i don't know if that has any significance.
Loading...
Some kids do act out like that and they usually need help. I am glad to hear that he's gotten it under control but if he does start cutting himself again, he definitely needs to talk to an adult about it. Can you be sure to keep an eye on it?
Loading...
oh i've been keeping a hawks eye (is that even how the quote goes?) on the situation when i learned that he used to do it around 6-7th grade. but i'm pretty sure he's stopped. but yeah ever since the incident. i've been on the look out for any more of it.
Loading...
quick update
alrighty. well according to my other friend(Sierra), Jesse my friend and his girlfriend were talking on the phone last night. and his gf said "you and chris ( me) should go out" in a joking manner. Well...this morning at school. jesse and Sierra were talking and "doing homework" but the convo. landed on the matter, and Sierra said that Jesse (after talking he was off the phone with his gf)was thinking about how things would be IF he and I were going out. and Jesse said (not word for word, like Sierra said he said somethings, but it basically amounted up to...) It wouldn't be THAT bad if Jesse and I were going out, but he couldn't imagine the physical part of it, cause it'd be awkward...
so....idk what to think about that. i mean. it is total shocker for me. idk what i should do. umm project feelings? or what. soo this totalliy messed up my plan of just staying friends. and what not. I'm not too sure how i should feel, but I do feel happy... and confused ALL over again.
alrighty. well according to my other friend(Sierra), Jesse my friend and his girlfriend were talking on the phone last night. and his gf said "you and chris ( me) should go out" in a joking manner. Well...this morning at school. jesse and Sierra were talking and "doing homework" but the convo. landed on the matter, and Sierra said that Jesse (after talking he was off the phone with his gf)was thinking about how things would be IF he and I were going out. and Jesse said (not word for word, like Sierra said he said somethings, but it basically amounted up to...) It wouldn't be THAT bad if Jesse and I were going out, but he couldn't imagine the physical part of it, cause it'd be awkward...
so....idk what to think about that. i mean. it is total shocker for me. idk what i should do. umm project feelings? or what. soo this totalliy messed up my plan of just staying friends. and what not. I'm not too sure how i should feel, but I do feel happy... and confused ALL over again.
Loading...
WHY would Jesse and his GF be talking about that?!!!!!! Do you think that Sierra knows about you and your feelings toward Jesse? That sure is an odd comment, don't you think?!!!! I know things are a LOT freer nowadays but still that is weird!!!
Anyway CHRIS!!! ;-) Keep everything on the down low OK? This was a hypothetical question, and he is STILL with his GF! IF anything IS going to happen with yourself and Jesse, I'm afraid honey, that it is Jesse that is going to have to make the move! And then you will be able to reciprocate! This doesn't mean that this gives you the "Green Light!" OK?! I know you are sitting on the edge of your seat with anticipation, but you have to hang tight honey!!! IF they say something to you about it say something like "What makes you think I would go out with him?!!!" Like in a funny way! What concerns me is that they THINK that you would be OK with it? Unless, everyone assumes you are gay!!! Perhaps they know more about you than you think! So asking that question might lead to some enlightening answers right?! So just remember that it is early days for your sexuality OK? So just hang in there for a little longer, just to see if this is where you want to be!
I was thinking about you the other day, and my advice to you! I hope you don't think I'm trying to "Talk you out of being gay!"? That's not my point, it's just that everyone your age has raging hormones, that lead them to question their sexuality! And it is just that I want you to be aware of that, that's all OK?!! So hang in there, ALL will become clear soon, OK not soon, but someday!!! ;-) 8-| XD XD
Anyway CHRIS!!! ;-) Keep everything on the down low OK? This was a hypothetical question, and he is STILL with his GF! IF anything IS going to happen with yourself and Jesse, I'm afraid honey, that it is Jesse that is going to have to make the move! And then you will be able to reciprocate! This doesn't mean that this gives you the "Green Light!" OK?! I know you are sitting on the edge of your seat with anticipation, but you have to hang tight honey!!! IF they say something to you about it say something like "What makes you think I would go out with him?!!!" Like in a funny way! What concerns me is that they THINK that you would be OK with it? Unless, everyone assumes you are gay!!! Perhaps they know more about you than you think! So asking that question might lead to some enlightening answers right?! So just remember that it is early days for your sexuality OK? So just hang in there for a little longer, just to see if this is where you want to be!
I was thinking about you the other day, and my advice to you! I hope you don't think I'm trying to "Talk you out of being gay!"? That's not my point, it's just that everyone your age has raging hormones, that lead them to question their sexuality! And it is just that I want you to be aware of that, that's all OK?!! So hang in there, ALL will become clear soon, OK not soon, but someday!!! ;-) 8-| XD XD
Loading...
oh lol yeah i forgot. Like Sierra knows about this whole turmoil. she's the only other person that i confide things like this in. but i wasn't going to make any moves. lol and most absolutely i wouldn't rush things like these. in fact...i hate rushing anything. but i think jesse's gf said that because jesse and i are together alot doing homework, or now just hanging out. and i see jesse more than she does. so yeah. i guess when i said 'it messed up my plans' i think that i wasn't thinking clearly. cause really now after it's cooled down a bit, it probably doesn't change anything.
Loading...
I've been following all along Chris and I think Bambi is giving you some good advice. I'll say it again...
SLOW DOWN. Jesse will need to make any move, not you at this point.
I also don't think you should really be telling Sierra about all this. I'm not saying to leave her out completely, but she doesn't need to know everything. What if something happens between you two and she decides to let Jesse know all this? Or worse, your school? It would certain put Jesse in a difficult spot, whether he likes you or not.
I guess another way to look at it is don't sacrifice a friendship for a fling.
Hang in there.
SLOW DOWN. Jesse will need to make any move, not you at this point.
I also don't think you should really be telling Sierra about all this. I'm not saying to leave her out completely, but she doesn't need to know everything. What if something happens between you two and she decides to let Jesse know all this? Or worse, your school? It would certain put Jesse in a difficult spot, whether he likes you or not.
I guess another way to look at it is don't sacrifice a friendship for a fling.
Hang in there.
Loading...