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ok my best friend is in a relationship that might not be good.. she is 19 and her boyfriend is 25.

this may be a stupid question, but its one ive been thinking about for a while now. my friend really likes her bf and theyve been together for 7 months. everytime theyre together he always makes stupid comments about her cheating on him (which she hasnt) and he always makes acusations about her cheating on him. she got pregnant a little over 2 months ago and when she told him he said "do what you want i cant do it", he convinced her to get an abortion, he didnt even go with her. he ignored her for days before the procedure and didnt even call her the day of the procedure! i went with her and harrassed his phone until he called back and then they talked. he always goes through her phone and checks her texts and her recent calls, and if there is a guy (she has alot of guy friends) he flips out and accuses her of sleeping with them. last night she looked at his phone, which he NEVER lets her do, and she saw a text to this girl saying "babe not right now, well meet up later k" so she asked him about it and he blew up, he said it was an old friend of his that hes always called babe. we were all at a bar and he told her to leave so we left. he called 20 mins later asking where she was, and then he freaked out at her saying that if she causes any more fights then they wont last long. he said if he was going to cheat on her he would film it and give it to her, he said would have told her a long time ago if he was... he was also blowing her off for weeks saying he was working late, or sleeping, or whatever. and she found out he was hanging out with his girl friend, who we know he would never do anything with, but she asked him why he was able to make time for his girl friend and everyone else, but couldnt make time with her. this was when she had the abortion, she saw him a week before the procedure, and then 3 weeks AFTER!!

she really does like him but she doesnt know if its healthy to stay with him..

is this an abusive relationship?what should she do?

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It's abusive and she needs to dump him right now. If she is having doubts then that is a clear sign. Your partner should never make you question whether or not they are being abusive.
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One of the most important things in a relationship (second only to love IMO) is trust. He doesn't have it for her, she should end it. You shouldn't be with someone who's going to treat you like your a criminal (sorry couldn't think of a better word to fit the situation :/)
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I think you knew the answer before you posted.

One of the oldest tricks in the book is to describe how your friend has this problem...

From how you present it, there is no question that this relationship is trouble.

Get clear of him. Take him up on his suggestion that it may be over.

And don't look back. You're lucky you're not PG with his kid. Then the relationship can never truly end...
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Your friend's boyfriend is an obsessive f*****g jerk who's already obviously cheating on her. If she's smart she'll dump his ass and find a guy that will treat her like royalty!! I put up with men like that for a very long time until I realized one day that I deserved better. Soon after, I met the man of my dreams!! He treats me like a Queen and we are now happily married!!!
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he sounds like a jerk to me... she should dump his sorry ass
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Ok, she is NOT causing the fights. He is! And if she THINKS this is NOT a healthy relationship, then it's not. The best thing she can do is "cut him off at the knees" if he is being negative. A little story for you, honey. and a {{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}, I was a member of match.com. and I was talking to a potential man from there via E-MAIL. Everything was cool. Gave me his number FIRST, NOT the other way around. All of a sudden, the e-mails and phone calls I placed to him were never returned. I still don't know why. I posted FB messages to his page and left messages on there. Gave me no indication that anything was wrong. He is separated from his wife and assured he was going to be 100% divorced. He said something to me that triggered my suspicions. He told me that his daughter was with "our" sitter for the weekend. Do you get it? Why "our" if you are separated? Hmmmmmm? I even asked him, "Are you married?" No. Divorced? Separated, he told me. I should have asked if it was a LEGAL one, you know? Anyway, what I am trying to say is that is was all negative to me, so I cut him off at the knees. Defriended him on FB and I think I have yet to block his e-mails. Not hat he has sent any more!:) Best thing I ever did! Tell your girl to CUT OFF ALL NEGATIVITY with his jerk! Cut off alot of negative people in my internet dealings. Again, best thing I ever did. It's like a tremendous weight has been lifted off my sholulders. It may sting like hell for her for a while, but it''ll be the BEST thing she ever did. And their are ALOT of good people out there that can help her. Give her my best. ***this post is edited by moderator *** *** private e-mails not allowed*** Please read our Terms of Use

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Please tell your friend to get as far away as she can from him. And the earlier post was correct he is treating her like a criminal. And she gave up her child for this man and he didnt give a c**p. Leave Leave Leave and DONT turn back. This is absolutely an ABUSIVE relationship NO DOUBT. I could tell that in just a few sentences. Please encourage your friend to get away from that MONSTER. Best of Luck :)xd
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This IS an abusive relationship, and (sorry) she should break up with him as he's not only cheating, but also lying and abusing her. (sorry, but..... It's for the best.)
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