Infatuated with Guy friend.

Same as dan really, I think I must have posted on this thread at some point and keep getting emails to read it :-) I've been reading along and yeh Bambi seems to be brimming with good advice :-P

One thing I am worried about here though is that names have started appearing. He was called J at the start and now we've got three names and it makes you easily identifiable.

It's up to you if you're comfortable with that or if we need to try and get an admin to change them back to J's and such.

I agree with Medic and King - I am FILLED with good advice!!!! ;-) XD

Actually I DO agree with them, keep it nice and quiet honey OK? Your "friends - gf" is jealous of the time he spends with you, and vica versa! NOW being a woman, I KNOW first hand that girls can be the nastiest b's when they want to! And IF you give her one reason to doubt your motives or your "other friend - girl (lets go back to the friend thing OK, cause I agree with KF about the names out there) lets ANYTHING drop! You AND he are DOOMED! All it takes is one nasty motive - like a split etc, and WATCH OUT!!! So no more orating to anyone about this OK? Because WE are ALL worried about the ramifications of this coming to a head and it isn't what it is supposed to be OK?

I have a very good friend who was in a situation like this when he was in high school. His best friend came onto him while he was with his girlfriend. The two of them ended up fooling around and...well, it got pretty ugly pretty quickly. There's still a lot of hurt feelings over it. Even if he likes you, and you like him, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be respectful of his girlfriend.

Are there any other guys that you like? To be honest, maybe you'd be better off concentrating on a different guy! :-)

Don't worry guys (and bambi) I'm not the one to make the moves usually and any relationship. I do agree with kingfreze..and i probalby need to change the names back to just the first letters of their names...soo i'm not too sure how to do it. but if someone could change it back, i'd be very grateful. Also what i have decided is....
To not over react about this. and just let things move along as life pushes it.
I'll just let things blow over, because...crazy hormonal time and all.
I'll just be a good friend to J, and I don't intend to try to make any anything more than just a good friendship.
I was already 'cooling down' about the whole situation, and i'm starting to feel less... umm 'attracted' to him the way i was before, and now i see him more and more like just a close friend.
healthfitnessguy- there isn't any other guys i like. he was just the one guy i've actually felt like this before. but there is this one girl....lol. so maybe a 'distraction' from this might be a good thing? (not as though i'm using anybody, but i really do like this other girl..) so yeah...??

Just go with the flow honey, I think that is what we ALL are telling you, and you definitely seem to be listening to us!! Which is also a good thing! Just be YOU!!! And listen, watch, and HEAR!! :-D

Well, sure, that's a good thing! Although I would recommend that you proceed with the girl the same way you would with your friend. Just be cool, be a friend, and don't expect anything. Of course, let your feelings be known when the time is right and if you suspect that she feels the same way, but a lot of the advice we posted here applies to love in general! What's her name? ;)

sorry i haven't replied in a looong time!
well as a little update, things are just rolling along fine. School is tough, a little overwhelming, with band, orchestra, and honors classes, but i'm pulling through. J, and I are still on terms of good friends. He and his girlfriend are broken up, sorta, they're at an awkward state, and like before, I was here to be his support when he needed it. So yeah, strong friendship. I still feel the same way about him, but I guess i have a it a bit more under control.

as for the girl. Well we'll call her "D" or "Dee" and the fact is...we've dated before in the past. and its confusing, like both she and I want to get back together....but we're not sure if its the smartest, or best thing to do. so we're kinda stuck at a were position.

Hi honey! It's nice to hear from you, I was actually thinking about you and how things were going for you! When you are in any relationship it takes chances, so if you and D want to make another go of it, there is nothing lost as LONG as you both have the rule of IF it doesn't work out, and your friendship is 1st and foremost then you can go back to being just friends! You BOTH have to feel the same way, it can't be more 1 sided than the other or it will be doomed! I always tell people to write down the pros and cons, and with your statement about not sure if its the smartest or best thing to do, this sounds more analytical then emotional! So take a look at that too! Don't do it just for the sake of doing it! There are feelings involved no matter if you say that you will go back to being just friends!

As I have said to you before, NONE of us wants to relive Highschool! We all loved Junior High - and I for one have 8 good girlfriends from that time period! I don't even remember names of "friends" I made in High School! Basically because I couldn't wait to get the hell out! Let's put it this way, I had the darkest tan at graduation!!!!! ;-) Thank GOD! For Art Class or I would have not passed with the overal percentage I needed!!! XD

Congrats with the honors club! that is quite the achievment for you, due to ALL that has been on your mind over the last couple of month! Anyway honey, I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving! And thankyou for updating us!

Happy Thanksgiving, well late. Hope it was nice for you. Yeah. lots has been going on. It's crazy juggling everything. I need a time to just sit and thinking through everything, but every time i sit down to do that, i keep thinking..."i could be using this time to finish up homework, or study" and its a big conflict. I can't stress enough how much it's a relief to be able to talk about it. there is a big conflict and i'm asking myself.."should date 'Dee" again? and maybe have the same result again, and not have any chance with J" (lately J as been asking a lot of questions of being gay, or making references- i dont know what it could mean but yeah) OR "should i just wait for another opportunities, and have a new chance with some one else, or with "J"..........

yeah..strangeness, and again im sorry. its like a never ending flow of problems from me. I can totally see why you say that you don't want to revisit highschool. Jr high was sooooo much easier.

Do you watch that show Glee? I was thinking about you last night when I was able to finally watched it! On the show there is a jock, a prim and proper girl and a VERY flamboyant gay boy! The girl AND the boy are totally in love with the Jock! And last night the Jock was looking at the gay guy character and looked like he was confused! I thought of you instantly, I like this show because it shows ALL sides and what I really applauded was last nights episode where the Jock guy was starting to be confused about His own sexual feelings! Believe me honey, you are just like EVERYONE else, with wondering about your feeling and your sexuality! I don't know if you ARE gay or not, only time will tell! But like I have said to you before, this is a VERY questionable time for all of you, and decisions you make now will have reprocussions for ever! When I went to my 10 year graduation reunion there was this man there, and at first I thought "Oh right he was the jock quaterback with all the girlfriends" Then ALL our mouths dropped to the floor when he got up to say grace for our dinner, and announced he was now a priest!!!!!!!! o.O So you NEVER know what is in peoples hearts when they are in highschool! They just have to play the role that they are given! And get out of it in one piece!!! ;-) J might be just as confused about his feelings as you, granted you are a bit more mature and understanding about them, but it still is a roller coaster for ALL of you! Don't date D just because, OK? That is a recipe for disaster! Look at your options, and just sit tight, IF anythign happens between you and J it HAS to be J that makes the move! You are farther ahead in this process! And you never know if all of a sudden IF something were to happen, you are like "WOW!!!!!!!! This isn't what I wanted or thought about at all!" or it could be the TOTAL opposite and you find that this is your essence! But like I said honey, you have us to talk to about it, he doesn't! And I REALLY believe that schools should open up discussions about sexuality and hormones and worries and not knowing who you are! Because EVERYONE of you has the same emotions and worries! I have even counselled kids on here as young as 12 who are worried about not getting a date!! :'( So it starts younger and younger - it's all the media etc.

I have a question for you, did you watch the American Music Awards the other night, with the scene of Adam Lambert kissing that guy and simulating oral sex with another man? What was you TOTAL GUT reaction about that? TOTALLY HONEST!? I think the answer could tell you a lot about where you are! Because I have straight and gay friends with TOTALLY opposing views on what transpired!

I've heard a lot of good things about Glee, and I finally watched it the other night. I thought it was really good. I think it's kind of funny that it reminded you of me. My friend that knows about this whole situation watches Degrassi, and she says my situation reminds her of Peter and Riley. Yeah, I think I'm just going to wait, and look at the options I have. Sometimes it's just soo hard to wait. but thats what is going to be the best thing to do.

about the Adam Lambert thing. I didn't watch the Music Awards, but I did see an online article about it. Like the first thing I thought of was "oh thats kinda wierd." about the kiss thing, it wasn't like "EWW thats nasty!" but not quite "aww thats sweet". I had nooo clue about the simulating part though. and quite frankly that doesn't seem like something that should be one T.V. you are soo right, the age of worrying about such things are getting lower and lower.

The reason why I asked you - knowing that you are a teenager whom accepts more in this day and age - IS that my gay friends said "What's so wrong with it? Maddona kissed Brittany spears and gyrates with guys all the time" And us straight people were like "GROSS!" But my gay friends thought there was nothing wrong with it! And I totally get their point! So I was just interested at your thoughts on it! My eldest son is not affected by anything on tv, my youngest thnks it's all gross, but he is still in that black and white stage, he hasn't got to that HUGE grey area yet!

Just sit tight honey and get your mind on other things, things will be what they are supposed to be!

Happy Holiday's!!
I'm giving a little update,It's been a while, and i won't get a chance before the new year. So, so far, everything is really great. I sat and waited for things to happen. I've been focusing on my music, and school. and slowly things really did get better. I am dating a girl that i've known for a while. and i'm really happy with her. J is still my best friend, and we're like brothers now. Everything is great, and just in time for the holidays. Thank you all soo much for being here for me. I'm soo happy.

SO happy for you honey! I wish you a wonderful Christmas and New Year!!!

Hi, so it's been a long while since i've updated. Um life has been a roller coast this past period of time. I was beyond happy, and quality of life was really high. Then my girlfriend and I have split up. and then things went down for a while. My feelings about my friend came back up, again. And i experienced similar problems before, but i coped well with them. And then things when back up. i was getting through the school day easier, the work load from homework, even though was still in large amounts didn't seem to bother me as much. And i fell into a rhythm of things and i was generally a happy person, and i still am. But those feelings that started everything has been extremely persistent! and it slightly frustrates me. School has gotten harder as it pushes closer to the big exams, and i've sacrificed lots of my time to help my friend, and i don't know. i care, help, and put out lots of my energy for him. But still he's yet to recognize how i feel. I'm still sure i don't need to tell him yet. But yeah, i'm still waiting? I wondering how long i will have to wait though. I'm determined to get pass this episode of my life. Sorry i felt like it was time to vent things a little, also to let yall know that i'm still alive.