I've had the honor to correspond with one of the most active members on SteadyHealth.com. Thank you Kirk C for having this interview with me and thank you for being with us on the board. It's a great to have you here :)


1. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

I'm a married 52 yr old white male with two teen kids. I work as a TV professional, and because we have lots of time between newscasts, I tend to surf the net as part of my job. I stumbled upon SteadyHealth while trying to research a medical topic for myself, and discovered that had some knowledge that I could share. So, I stuck around! I also have extensive education with a B.A, M.A. and the equivalent of a B.S. in science. I work in the schools to inspire grade school and middle school students. But I also have extensive education in psychology, human sexuality and crisis intervention. That's what I concentrate on in the forums.

2. You've been present on the board for around 4 months and you have already became a moderator? You've made an impressive 900 posts and been elected by the forum members as "The member with the best replies" on the board in our vote contest. How does that feel?

I'm very flattered and honored to be recognised. I guess the high number of posts shows means I had more chances to be read and voted in, but I also find it interesting to see what people are asking, and how they are responding to each other.
I view this role as one that works in concert with others, and if I'm recognized or singled out for an award, it's only because I've had others help encourage me or helped me by example on these forums!

3. How do you see this role of yours (as a moderator)?

I guess I see myself as a bit of a junior traffic cop: directing traffic, answering questions, acknowledging people's right to hold differing opinions, but also screening some responses that may be hurtful or contain misinformation. I try not to edit what people submit, unless it violates forum policy or is mean-spirited and could hurt someone's health. But I'm also willing to bend a rule by looking the other way until someone else notices the transgression (like no photos) if I think it will help people or teach by staying up a little while longer. I mean, the goal is to help people, not run a dating service or social chat room.


4. What do you enjoy about the forum the most?

I think I enjoy sharing positive, supportive feelings, giving reassurance to young people who are unsure and questioning. Although some repeated questions get tiring, it's interesting to see how many young people don't know some basics of human reproduction and the risks that they take. I'm always amazed to see how many don't know not to mix petroleum products and rubber/laytex items... and there seems to be a fascination with "pre-cum"! I also enjoy when a person comes back and says "Thank you. It turned out to be nothing" or "I got the right help, thanks to you."

And I also like when the next poster says something like, "Kirk is right, because...." I think it's very important for our supporters and moderators to work together and not contradict each other. Usually, I always start with "bbfeet9 has given you very good advice" before I add my 2-cents worth or point out another idea. That way, I'm validating the response and advice that she has given too!


5. Where do you spend your time the most?

I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I hang out in the sexual forums, if only because I really don't mind talking about sex and sharing my knowledge and experience. I have an extensive collection of sexual instruction manuals, books, text books, advice books, and similar materials... that I have maintained since college, and update periodically.

As a result, I am far more educated on the subject than "the average bear" to quote a Yogi Bear cartoon from my youth! I wander between the Men's Forum, the Sexual Issues, Sexual Stimulation, Pregnancy, Sexual Disfunction and Women's Zone forums.


6. Have you made any friends since you joined the forum?

I count among my friends, Jenny (of course) and bbfeet9, who I feel is my trusted female co-supporter. I know when not to venture a guess, and i can depend upon her to answer female questions that are just out of my league! I also respect "The Geezer's" answers, though we haven't talked much. And there's another contributor who's responses have always been "right on" that I have recommend for the next round of Supporters.


7. What moves you to come to SteadyHealth every day?

Well, as i mentioned, I usually have some free time each day, but part of it is the curiosity to see what new questions have come in, or a fear that I'm falling behind in reading or answering questions. And part of it is email alerts that I get when others add to a thread that I answered.

Back in college (1974-80), there was an advice column in the college daily newspaper called "The Doctor's Bag". Questions frequently revolved around sexual themes, and it was always required reading every day cause people talked about it every day. After four years, they stopped running it, cause "the same questions keep coming up again and again". I think about that often and feel that it would have been helpful if they just turned around the series of years columns and hired some med student to update some responses or modify the answers when necessary. It was a great learning tool, along with Dr. Rubin's book "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About SEX" (but were too afraid to ask)". I see this forum as filling that role and I'm proud to be a part of it and help perform that function. Every day.

8. Is moderation on SteadyHealth a tough job?

Not really a tough job, but some days I wrestle with how to respond to a posting more than others. Some days I'm short and testy, and I've answered the same question about masturbation dozens of times before, and people aren't reading the prior forum questions or the stickies for their answers before posting.

And other times, I'm blunt and "call a spade, a spade." But it's only rarely that I second guess myself. Once, a 28 yr old said he'd tried two Ti prostitutes to loose his virginity and was asking "is that all there is". He didn't like my response, as he thought I was preachy and judgmental. So I tried again, in a more nuetral vein, but I don't know if he stuck around to hear it.
That's the hard part. On one hand, I try not to pass judgment on choices and behavior, but there is a certain point where some young people are making poor choices, and I have to refrain from saying "WE TOLD YOU TO USE PROTECTION. Now you're in a jam!"

I guess I like reassuring kids that they are normal. ...that masturbation is alright and that everyone does it. And I think I'm very good at encouraging young men to keep doing self exams as a means to catch early cancer or changes that should be examined by a doctor.

That's probably what brought me to the moderators' attention in the first place.


9. Do you have a message for our members and other moderators as well as our supporters?

I think it's very important that we not try to act as replacements for Doctors and medical evaluations. While I have seen no responses from Supporters or Moderators that would do this, I watch myself on this point.

I error on the side of sending people to see their doctors cause I'd never want to have someone skip an exam and diagnosis because I told them it was alright or not to worry about something. I know a lot, but I DON'T PRACTICE MEDICINE.

And many times, a young man will be asking about a lump or bump or something that I can't see or feel, and so, I try not to dismiss it... but encourage them to get it checked out, along with all of their questions.

I guess I'd encourage moderators and our members to reassure people who post that it's OK to ask Doctors questions, and to demand satisfaction in their answers. And, of course, to use protection if they are going to engage in sexual behaviors. That may seem a little preachy, but it's a crying need from what I've seen on the boards.