Is this HOCD or denial??!

i am a 13 year old female, i have watched lesbian porn to much now that i imagine myself with another women, it bothers me a lot, and it causes me anxiety and depression, i havent stopped on my lesbian porn addiction, and after i watch these videos i feel depressed and uncomfortable, it makes me sick but i still watch it i dont under stand why i do this to myself but i do!!!

i have never had a boyfriend but i picture myself with one and i am very happy, but these lesbian thoughts keep corupting my mind and i cant think strate and i feel sad and uncomfortable even more...

i, always had a passion for men but i keep looking at myself with another women and it scares me and i get frightened. i see myself with a girl, as a couple, it bothers me and i feel sad, i dont want to feel this way.

i had many boy crushes in my life it makes me feel happy, i dont know what i do i cant stop ,my addiction to lesbian porn because im sooo used to watching it, but every time i do my mind starts twisting it and making it me, all i want to do when i have these thoughts and curl up and cry... these thoughts go in my head alot, my mom told me that its just hormons and i just keep puting these thoughts in my head... i dont know what to do any more they bother, annoy, scare, depress me, these thoughts are hell!!!

can someone help me, thoughts pls, i really need help with this guys, so what do you think it is:

HOCD OR DENIAL!!!!?????

I'm curious to know why having such thoughts about someone of the same sex bothers you. It is possible to be attracted to both men and women (bi sexual) or to be straight with a curiosity towards the same sex (bi curious) and there is nothing wrong with that. I would say your mother is correct. Puberty will mess with your head and things get very confusing very quickly. But i have to say, who's gonna judge you? And why should it matter?

I personally think there is nothing wrong with what your feeling. Maybe its just a 'phase' or maybe its something that will become real and genuine. Either way its nothing to be afraid of. All you seem to be doing is getting worked up over it and getting upset when (in my opinion) there is nothing to be upset about.

It's possible you have HOCD (the denial bit is irreverent, you could have HOCD and be gay, straight or bisexual at a later date) though i have no personal experience with HOCD myself (i have OCD instead). Getting thoughts stuck like that is a terrible thing to have and is extremely hard to sort things out in your head. It might be worth looking up coping mechanisms people use when they have OCD (some people will get more mileage than others with those, but its worth a try) and also keep reminding yourself that there really is nothing wrong with those thoughts regarding sexuality. They may seem scare, but its really less of a deal than you may make it out to be.

Good luck.