Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!

I'm a 17 year old male, about to be 18. My entire life, I've liked girls. All I've dated is girls, and all I've wanted is girls. Sure, I've had an occasional gay fantasy, but that's not exactly uncommon. Anyway, since about Christmas, I've been worried that I'm gay. Usually, I take one of the psychological sexual orientation tests and try to answer it honestly. Most of them report what I think-I'm straight. Anyway, I started watching gay porn, and immediately began to be terrified that I was gay. It's really bad sometimes; I can't focus on anything else outside of wondering if I'm gay. So now it's morphing into some form of anxiety around other guys, in many cases, my friends and family. Regardless, I'm confused as hell right now. I have no idea what I am. I feel like I'm not gay, and I'm just terrified of the remote possibility. I also feel as though I'm not bisexual. I really have no desire for other men. Sure, I can acknowledge that some of them are attractive. I have trouble selecting the MOST attractive one out of a group or anything like that. However, I don't have any emotional attraction to men, outside of the whole "this guy is like my brother."

I really don't think I'm gay, but I'm concerned that this might be HOCD. I read an article on it just now, and it seems like I exhibit a number of the symptoms (i.e. retching when I see gay males kissing or whatever). I'm religious, so I've tried to let His word clear the way, but I'm still horribly confused. Anyway, if someone (or a few people) could help me out, I would be forever indebted to him/her/them.

Thank you so much,

Paul

Loading...

Stop being religious, and accept it, that seems like the logical thing to do.

Reply

Loading...

Above id**t: be helpful, not just useless.

Reply

Loading...

I'm a Christian. I'm 17 about to be 18 and I've decided to let my sexuality flow. I didn't accept myself. I thought I would get judged because I was a bi Christian. You can't help your feelings co I couldn't. I look at gays kissing and I'm kinda creeped out. Feminine gays scare me but I have sexual fantasies about men. Just let yourself go and be who you want to be coz I did and I love it :)
Reply

Loading...


talk with a solid spiritual director and don't watch porn in general, it's degrading. read stuff on narth.com

Reply

Loading...


Hey, I went through the SAME exact thing when I was 16. I'm 22 now and I'm over it and believe me I'm completely straight. But I remember going online back then and researching and found out I was going through HOCD too. It started as a FEAR that I was gay, then it just kept building and building and I was worrying 24/7 about being gay. I would look at guys and wonder if I was attracted to them, etc... I would even get nervous around my guy friends because I was scared that I was attracted to them.

Basically I was worried all day every day and it ruined my life for about 8 months. Anyway, with time I eventually stopped worrying about it. There's times where I look back and wonder why that happened to me and that's how I ended up reading your post.

6 years later, I KNOW I like women and I get sexually excited when I see them and everything. Just keep your head up because it sounds like the same exact thing I went through and I came out fine.
Reply

Loading...

i went through kinda the same thing only i was younger. im an 18 yea old girl and i like guys and girls. for years i pushed it aside because i was afraid to have these feelings. but i'm 18 now and i've been like this for years so i'm just gonna accept it, and once i did i just felt so much better. if this is the case with you then stop denying what you're feeling. but, you say theres no emotional attraction to men, just physical. well porn can be a big factor in that. you see, experts have said that watching porn is unhealthy. because what it does is it builds up a fantasy of what sex is like. you watch it and soak in how thrilling it looks and so when it comes to having actual sex in real life, most people (men in particular) find it disapointing, because it doesn't live up to what they saw on the screen. it made them expect something more than what it really was and so feel 'let down'. so if you watch porn alot (ew) then theres that to watch out for. also when we do something repetitive it tends to get boring after while, so maybe you just got so used to 'regular porn' that you needed something knew. but, emotional and physical attraction arent always different things. i don't know maybe its just me but i think when it comes to sexuality it can be the same thing. maybe you're just not ready to accept any emotional feelings, or maybe you're just going through a faze as it does happen to most people. either way, whether you're gay straight or bi, don't feel quilty about it. if you're religious then i get why its so scarry to have these feelings, i'm no religious and yet i was scared as well. point is, being physically attracted to someone means you're sexually attracted to them as well, and sexuality isn't just about the emotion. anyway i'm sorry for you're feeling conused andi hope you figure out what going on with you. don't fret, at some point everyone goes through a faze.
Reply

Loading...

Did you ever have gay thoughts too?
Reply

Loading...

Somebody on this f*%@kng post who speaks wisdom this mate wreaks of HOCD finally somebody who doesn't label it "bi curious" or "bi sexual"
Reply

Loading...

Mate you are the definition of bisexual now... Stop confusing this other mate he's not repressing anything and he's not emotionally attached he has OCD look it up.
Reply

Loading...