Late Period Arrived Also have Pregnancy-like Symptoms

I was getting horrific severe headaches for a couple of days, then my Period was late.  Then I noticed my sternum, ribcage, belly and sides are tender to touch.  I have been getting butterflies and flutters in my stomach.  A little wheezy and tight when breathing.  Constant hunger pains, need to pee more.  Major fatigue.  Aches and pains in my back, neck, shoulders, sides and tonsils.  Particularly my left shoulder and left side of my neck.  But I feel the need to now sleep on my sides as my belly is so swollen-looking and tender.  I get side-stitches also.  I get this jabbing darting pain in my sternum and under my ribs. Some days it can be there for the whole day, or it can be for a short while.  In the last few days I can feel the same jabbing sensation under my left and right breasts.  My ribs look swollen.  My belly looks bloated and huge, even though I am over-weight, it looks totally out-of-shape and is changing more everyday.  I can feel some shapes underneath my belly-fat-roll around my sternum about 3 inches above my navel.  I seem to have developed a small roll/layer of fat just below my main bigger "spare-tyre" roll of fat on my upper stomach.  I have spurted out "love-handles" either side of this smaller lower roll of fat on my lower abdomen.  My main side-creases on my "spare-tyre" main roll of belly-fat which would normally define my waist have grown, and now go round to my back with the creases stopping around the point just where I close my bra.  I had stretch-marks already on my stomach but I think a few more have popped up.  I'm developing a crease-like dent in the middle of my back from the bottom going upwards.  The middle of my back can be very sore sometimes.  In the last couple of days, my areola has developed a new outline about an inch out from my nipples, and the space in-between is now filling in with goose-pimple like bubbles, my nipples themselves appear to be growing more nipple-skin lol underneath them also.  I did 2 Home Pregnancy Tests after my period-due-day which both returned Not Pregnant results.  My spare-tyre main bigger roll of belly-fat and the smaller roll of fat have been kind-of moulding together over the last few days in the form of an oval-ish mound right in front of my belly-button, and I'm now pretty sure I have developed an "Innie" navel with creases like an upsidedown v letter. like so --> ^  Where my navel is - I would have to delve into the crevices lol to seek out my navel lol!  But it's as if am waiting for these "love-handles" to rounden? a bit more to complete this oval mound that's forming in front of my belly-button.

When I bend over the bath or in the crouched-position sitting on the toilet, - my main bigger roll of fat lol of my stomach / "spare-tyre" hurts while in that position till I stand up again.  

I have no pain urinating etc..  In the last few days I have started to feel queasy?  As if I could puke but I never do puke, it's just the feeling that I'm about to?  Is this what nausea is?  I don't think I'd be familiar with nausea.

my LMS was October 05th, and I may have had an impregnating event lol October 16th which would have been my ovulating time.  As it turns out I started to bleed yesterday, 12 days after my period is due.  It's not excessively heavy, it's like a usual period for me.  I have period-like pain in my general stomach area which fades away like I am on a normal period, not excessive cramping.  I haven't had any grey/pink matter or tissue/cells pass through that I have noticed, or any clots in the toilet or any majorly abnormal bleeds.  

Reading and researching is getting me nowhere fast and I'm growing so frustrated with it all!  Grrrrrr!!  Some people say it is possible to get your usual periods right through-out your pregnancy, some say they get their period for the first 3/4 months of pregnancy.  Light bleeding is known as Implantation bleeding or uterus/wall/line bleeding, but I have my usual heavy-flow.  Some people say it's impossible to get your period while pregnant as you aren't ovulating.  I Really don't know what's wrong with me!  Would love to hear anyone else's similar experiences or advice/suggestions.  

Is it possible for the Areolas to get bigger at any point early or late into Pregnancy, even as early as if I'm just potentially almost 5-6 weeks gone?  What else is there that gives Pregnancy-like symptoms where you would also grow larger Areolas?  I have all my organs in-situ in-tact lol; - tonsils, appendix, kidneys, lungs, liver, gallbladder, intestines etc. etc.