Long post about my hemmies. and a bunch of questions for you..

Hello. this is my first time posting on this site. well, this is my first time posting about this condition at all. i'm nervous.

So, I've very recently mustered the courage to finally deal with my arse. I knew something had been wrong down there for many years, probably since I was 18. I'm 36 now..and i'm a guy...for 36 years. I've always known I had hemorrhoids, but I was always afraid to actually consciously get it checked out and actually deal with it. I guess I was just too scared to know the truth of it all. But I fear that the current state I'm in now maybe my new daily routine and maintenance for the rest of my life.

I finally got the courage to actually bend over and take a look at my own hole a few weeks ago. It was totally weird and I was so anxious and nervous, afraid that I may see something that would scare the poop out of me. What I found as I was bent over looking at my shooter in the doorway mirror, I found two hemmies. Or piles. Or maybe they're skin tags. I knew I've had those for awhile so nothing new there. But what did scare me was that those tags or monstrous pimples didn't appear to be swelling themselves, but right next to them, on the edge of the circular swimming pool, were/are these two bumps almost directly across from eachother. They weren't that big in comparison to what I've felt before but was too damn chicken to look before. But these Mounds of joy were about the size of half a grape each. What was also kind of gross is that even though its still a bit mound-like, looking close they look like a balloon with a big ass blood vessel all curved up in there, like one crazy ass water slide. But it's not a waterside. It's my hemorrhoids. Anyways, so I've been checking the opening of my bung on a daily basis now to get an idea of what the norm is and what my "bad" condition looks like and what my "good" condition looks like and compare notes. It's been a few weeks now and by the looks of it, walking or standing for even 30 minutes those bubble grapes will say hello. everyday. I can feel them saying hello...

So ive been trying all sorts of remedies everyday for months now. Witch hazel, ice Packs, warm site bath, garlic compress ( I literally burned my bunghole. It took weeks to heal. Ironically my hemmies didn't bother me at for those two weeks. Ok back to the actual story. Sorry), aloe Vera gel, and coconut oil.

When I lay down, or actually even sit down, they seem to go down. I've also been squirting some cold refrigerated witch hazel onto a cotton ball and slap that puppy right between those rat basturds, grab a frozen tariyaki sauce pack that I got from the Trader Joes Mandarin chicken and then slap that on top of the cotton ball lodged between my cheekies and I let them get to know eachother for about 15 mins. Then they go away as if nothing ever happened. But then as soon as I get back up, it's like I'm on a 30 minute timer. So now I'm wondering how long I'm gonna have to deal with this? For the rest of my life? I don't really ever feel ictchiness or too much pain ever, except those rare once every other year "golf ball on my arse" moments. It's more of a dull ache and/or a sensation that you got a heavy ass Christmas ornament hanging around down there.

Why am I writing all this? I don't know, really. I am pretty high right now… plus, I've been wanting to reach out to cyberland so that I can connect with other bung sufferers so that I don't have to feel like I'm the only one on this earth to have this horrible condition.

What was I saying?

Oh yeah.

So, I'm curious to know some details of your daily life so that I can gauge where I stand. And to see who else is out there who's been dealing with this nonsense like me.

sorry for so many questions...

Age today?

Sex?

what is your profession?

how active are you on a daily basis?

Age of hemmies discovery?

What do you think was the cause of your hemmies? Sports? Sitting? Diet? Anal sexy times?

too tired to bold any further.

How many internals?

How many externals?

How big do your hemmies look on a "bad" day?

(grape nut, blueberry, grape, apricot, grapefruit, watermelon, etc…)