Hi everyone, I'm new around here.. And first of all, English isn't my mother tongue... So please be indulgent...
It's kinda a coming out for me... But I don't want to tell this to a pro or whatever... So a community like this is my best option.
I'm 19 years old, I'm 6"2, weights 210 pounds, did 8 years of intensive musculation training...
Yet I just can't stop being obsessed by this 210 number.
I so try to lose weight. I do sport, I don't eat for days, I throw up (Yeah, a man does that..)
But with the pills I take (that's what I've been told when I got them), it's extremelly hard to lose weight.
But I can't really stop them...
Back in summer of 2007, I started worrying about my weight. I weighted 250 at that time (when I quit at musculation) and well...
In 10 weeks I lost 80 pounds. Means I went to 170 from 250 in 2.5 months. How?
Stopped pills, and my back-then addiction to alcohol helped me not to eat. I was vegetative, but took a good 10 km run once in a while. Dunno really how I kept that pace..
The price to pay then? I now crash into heavy panic attacks all the time (due to damage caused by lack of medication), I can't really sleep peacefully (though that's getting better), I developped heart problems, which are only getting worse... And well. Just to say, it took quite a toll on my body and my brain.
To clear things up.. There's no way I'm going back the psychiatric hospital. Yes I suffer from bipolar disorder, and that anorexia is a result of depression..
But I've gained back too much weight, and I'm seriously going to freak down.
That 2007 experience isn't something I'm allowed to do once more. That's like, suicidal.
Right now I'm thinking of quitting school, it's just overwhelming my mind.. I do damage my body (in some reallyyyy weird ways) to get through... It's somewhat therapeutical. And yes, suicide attempts on top of that... Secretly.
The only people that knows about are some female friends of mine that confessed me about their own problems.
So... I need help.. Sorry if all this rant isn't appropriate for this place... But seriously..
What can I do? I'm at my own limit?
I don't feel like being laughed at by people thinking it's ridiculous and all that stuff... It's really obsessing me... But, if I'm not alone, let you be man or woman, you guys may share with me. Talking with my female friends actually calms me down, so at least, that'd be it, if nobody can help me really. That's probably the main reason why I came here.
On the other hand, can somebody tell me how should I proceed to lose weight? Even in the long run, healthy ways doesn't seem to work, nor does the less healthier ones. I haven't tried laxatives yet, though... And I can't really rely on drugs... I know Sibutramine would help me like alcohol did, but I couldn't bear it anymore.
Wishing to be heard by some people that won't think of me as a retard or poser or anything. I feel such like an attention w**** at the moment.. -_- I fail... I dunno if this whole whining thing was all right and suitable for this website, but whatever.. If you, modos, delete this, I'd like to know. There's some hope in this message.
Sorry again for my low-level English.
Wow, I dunno if I feel better or worse now.. This was such a lame complaint from me..
I can't write much more. I tried my best. I'm like a bit crazy at the moment... Please reply, anyhow, anyone!
Have a nice day, to whoever reads this.
It's kinda a coming out for me... But I don't want to tell this to a pro or whatever... So a community like this is my best option.
I'm 19 years old, I'm 6"2, weights 210 pounds, did 8 years of intensive musculation training...
Yet I just can't stop being obsessed by this 210 number.
I so try to lose weight. I do sport, I don't eat for days, I throw up (Yeah, a man does that..)
But with the pills I take (that's what I've been told when I got them), it's extremelly hard to lose weight.
But I can't really stop them...
Back in summer of 2007, I started worrying about my weight. I weighted 250 at that time (when I quit at musculation) and well...
In 10 weeks I lost 80 pounds. Means I went to 170 from 250 in 2.5 months. How?
Stopped pills, and my back-then addiction to alcohol helped me not to eat. I was vegetative, but took a good 10 km run once in a while. Dunno really how I kept that pace..
The price to pay then? I now crash into heavy panic attacks all the time (due to damage caused by lack of medication), I can't really sleep peacefully (though that's getting better), I developped heart problems, which are only getting worse... And well. Just to say, it took quite a toll on my body and my brain.
To clear things up.. There's no way I'm going back the psychiatric hospital. Yes I suffer from bipolar disorder, and that anorexia is a result of depression..
But I've gained back too much weight, and I'm seriously going to freak down.
That 2007 experience isn't something I'm allowed to do once more. That's like, suicidal.
Right now I'm thinking of quitting school, it's just overwhelming my mind.. I do damage my body (in some reallyyyy weird ways) to get through... It's somewhat therapeutical. And yes, suicide attempts on top of that... Secretly.
The only people that knows about are some female friends of mine that confessed me about their own problems.
So... I need help.. Sorry if all this rant isn't appropriate for this place... But seriously..
What can I do? I'm at my own limit?
I don't feel like being laughed at by people thinking it's ridiculous and all that stuff... It's really obsessing me... But, if I'm not alone, let you be man or woman, you guys may share with me. Talking with my female friends actually calms me down, so at least, that'd be it, if nobody can help me really. That's probably the main reason why I came here.
On the other hand, can somebody tell me how should I proceed to lose weight? Even in the long run, healthy ways doesn't seem to work, nor does the less healthier ones. I haven't tried laxatives yet, though... And I can't really rely on drugs... I know Sibutramine would help me like alcohol did, but I couldn't bear it anymore.
Wishing to be heard by some people that won't think of me as a retard or poser or anything. I feel such like an attention w**** at the moment.. -_- I fail... I dunno if this whole whining thing was all right and suitable for this website, but whatever.. If you, modos, delete this, I'd like to know. There's some hope in this message.
Sorry again for my low-level English.
Wow, I dunno if I feel better or worse now.. This was such a lame complaint from me..
I can't write much more. I tried my best. I'm like a bit crazy at the moment... Please reply, anyhow, anyone!
Have a nice day, to whoever reads this.
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Hi Hatred,
First of all this is not ridiculous. You did a right thing by writing this here. It is much easier to talk to someone than to keep things in side you.
My suggestion would be something simple. Eat many times a day, like 4 or 5, but eat smaller portions of meal. Exercise at least three days a week. You really don't have to exercise every day. It is good to for the body to have a day or too a rest. Eat a lot of vegetables. Try to eat fruit 15 to 20 minutes before lunch or dinner.
I hope that this was helpful.
Just post here and you will see, it is much easier when you share things.
Best of wishes.
First of all this is not ridiculous. You did a right thing by writing this here. It is much easier to talk to someone than to keep things in side you.
My suggestion would be something simple. Eat many times a day, like 4 or 5, but eat smaller portions of meal. Exercise at least three days a week. You really don't have to exercise every day. It is good to for the body to have a day or too a rest. Eat a lot of vegetables. Try to eat fruit 15 to 20 minutes before lunch or dinner.
I hope that this was helpful.
Just post here and you will see, it is much easier when you share things.
Best of wishes.
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Well thanks JohnJnn...
First of all... I'm not quite sure if it's easier to talk or not... I feel ashamed, to be quite frank. I wrote that this night while being in a major stress phase...
On the other hand, I've heard about the veggies thing. While it's a fact and that I agree with you, it's like, not something I could think of at first, but something I could suggest to someone else... But it makes sense, and I'll look up trying it out..
As far as training I should be fine with that. I usually take up 20km long runs 3-4 times a week (I'm still in a "good shape", somehow). Having being going through 8 years of musculation (if that sentence ever made sense, sorry again for my bad English), I sure am well informed concering this..
Though, I can't really understand...
I can skip 1-2, or even 3 days of eating, then eat normally for a day, but with purging it off, then start over... And no change? Besides the easy starting pounds, I mean...
Thanks again. I do feel less lame, this only due to the fact that I'm not panicking as much.
Anyhow, maybe your tip will do the job (concerning the fruit-before-meal tip, veggies, more portions but smallers), though I know that even if it works, it will frustrates me... In my head it's still possible to have results like I had 2 years ago.. But well. I'll try to mind myself on that... A positive result is a positive result...
First of all... I'm not quite sure if it's easier to talk or not... I feel ashamed, to be quite frank. I wrote that this night while being in a major stress phase...
On the other hand, I've heard about the veggies thing. While it's a fact and that I agree with you, it's like, not something I could think of at first, but something I could suggest to someone else... But it makes sense, and I'll look up trying it out..
As far as training I should be fine with that. I usually take up 20km long runs 3-4 times a week (I'm still in a "good shape", somehow). Having being going through 8 years of musculation (if that sentence ever made sense, sorry again for my bad English), I sure am well informed concering this..
Though, I can't really understand...
I can skip 1-2, or even 3 days of eating, then eat normally for a day, but with purging it off, then start over... And no change? Besides the easy starting pounds, I mean...
Thanks again. I do feel less lame, this only due to the fact that I'm not panicking as much.
Anyhow, maybe your tip will do the job (concerning the fruit-before-meal tip, veggies, more portions but smallers), though I know that even if it works, it will frustrates me... In my head it's still possible to have results like I had 2 years ago.. But well. I'll try to mind myself on that... A positive result is a positive result...
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Well I have heard once that some people don't eat for one hole day only once a month. And then they just drink liquid. I don't knwo if you Have you heard anything about this. Try to set your mind not to feel too frustrated with this. That is not helping you either.
Stress does not have positive effect on anything.
Stress does not have positive effect on anything.
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Well thanks quite much for this tip, Johnjnn.
For some reasons this one is very interesting. That's not a tip I ever got in the past... That's kinda what I used to do, the liquid being alcohol... Maybe it's a key. I'm gonna try it, if the other tip you gave me doesn't seem to work.
Stress, in the past, helped me like crazy, I think. But I guess it's not a fact you can use at your advantage and everything... So yeah, I'd better get away from it. I'll try to..
This reply may appear in double, because I replied before, but it doesn't seem to be there already... But whatever.
Sorry for my low-level English, and thanks again Johnjnn.
For some reasons this one is very interesting. That's not a tip I ever got in the past... That's kinda what I used to do, the liquid being alcohol... Maybe it's a key. I'm gonna try it, if the other tip you gave me doesn't seem to work.
Stress, in the past, helped me like crazy, I think. But I guess it's not a fact you can use at your advantage and everything... So yeah, I'd better get away from it. I'll try to..
This reply may appear in double, because I replied before, but it doesn't seem to be there already... But whatever.
Sorry for my low-level English, and thanks again Johnjnn.
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Hi hatred,
Alcohol is not good. I drink beer from time to time, nothing much. It really wont get you anywhere.
Try to stay off the excessive drinking as much as you can. I'm glad that you liked my suggestion.
And one more thing. Maybe not that important but it can be a good advice. Eat slowly. Don't rush your meal. I sometimes eat too fast and it's bad for next day. I even get stomach aches.
Take care.
Alcohol is not good. I drink beer from time to time, nothing much. It really wont get you anywhere.
Try to stay off the excessive drinking as much as you can. I'm glad that you liked my suggestion.
And one more thing. Maybe not that important but it can be a good advice. Eat slowly. Don't rush your meal. I sometimes eat too fast and it's bad for next day. I even get stomach aches.
Take care.
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I can't drink in large quantities anymore because of a stupid liver accident... drank 5 beers in a few seconds + more than a litter of a 40% alcohol concentrated drink as fast as I could... Ended up in the bath, bathing in my blood... xD
Not so funny actually.
So I just don't drink alcohol anymore.
Eating slowly is a very, very important thing actually, as far as I know... That's not the first time I get to hear about it.
Thanks for you devotion to this post, Johnjnn. That's really nice from you, 3 replies, wow!
Have a nice day.
Not so funny actually.
So I just don't drink alcohol anymore.
Eating slowly is a very, very important thing actually, as far as I know... That's not the first time I get to hear about it.
Thanks for you devotion to this post, Johnjnn. That's really nice from you, 3 replies, wow!
Have a nice day.
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Why were you drinking so much?
And if you want there will be more replies. :-)
There are other threads as well, you can take a look. This site is great because of the good community here. I like talking with others.
And if you want there will be more replies. :-)
There are other threads as well, you can take a look. This site is great because of the good community here. I like talking with others.
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Thanks for the advice, Johnjnn... I may check this out, the news thing..
Drinking... I started to drink "to look badass"... Fail, isn't it? it didn't last long... Then I was drinking because I had no choice to... Without it, I couldn't even concentrate at college.. I needed it to be relaxed, and being able to keep up. Alcohol also reacted with my meds, so you know, once I got used to alcohol, plus the rampage the meds did by being not only unfulfilling their main purpose, but also causing much trouble to my body. And it didn't last long before my alcohol+meds state became the one my body was "the most comfortable" with.
And well... Yeah, I'd enjoy replies, as many as possible... As long as you feel okay with it..
This is a message to anyone reading this! ^^
Btw, sorry again for my stupid English level... I try to be clear... But if something isn't, please ask me to clarify it..
Have a nice day, and thanks again.
Drinking... I started to drink "to look badass"... Fail, isn't it? it didn't last long... Then I was drinking because I had no choice to... Without it, I couldn't even concentrate at college.. I needed it to be relaxed, and being able to keep up. Alcohol also reacted with my meds, so you know, once I got used to alcohol, plus the rampage the meds did by being not only unfulfilling their main purpose, but also causing much trouble to my body. And it didn't last long before my alcohol+meds state became the one my body was "the most comfortable" with.
And well... Yeah, I'd enjoy replies, as many as possible... As long as you feel okay with it..
This is a message to anyone reading this! ^^
Btw, sorry again for my stupid English level... I try to be clear... But if something isn't, please ask me to clarify it..
Have a nice day, and thanks again.
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Well your English is good. But if I don't understand something I will ask. :-)
What kind of medication were you using? Are you still on some?
What kind of medication were you using? Are you still on some?
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I take some on and off.
Lithium and Concerta are permanent, though occasionnaly I go with Risperdal. I'm currently on some skin fixing ones (don't remember the name), and this week I'm gonna get some for my heart, which blows.
Lithium and Concerta are permanent, though occasionnaly I go with Risperdal. I'm currently on some skin fixing ones (don't remember the name), and this week I'm gonna get some for my heart, which blows.
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So you have a high blood pressure?
Well then your drinking was really not good for your body. How are you feeling these past few days? Any better?
Cheers
Well then your drinking was really not good for your body. How are you feeling these past few days? Any better?
Cheers
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Not at all. I grew arythimic, and yeah, high blood pressure on top of that. Had some attacks but whatever...
It's only getting worse since...
But I don't really care much about that...
It's only getting worse since...
But I don't really care much about that...
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You do know that Concerta sometimes has some side effects like Abdominal pain, Appetite loss, Blood pressure and pulse changes, Headaches.
Do you think that this might be the reason why is this happening to you?
Do you think that this might be the reason why is this happening to you?
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I take Concerta on and off. Like, I can spend a lot of time without it (weeks, or even months), basically I'm not taking it as long as I don't need to go to the school. It's only up for helping me study. Yet, my blood thing is crazy all the time, and there's just no way I got arythmic with Concerta, or even started having attacks...
So I doubt that concerta is the cause. On the other hand, both of my parents do have blood pressure issues...
Thanks again.
So I doubt that concerta is the cause. On the other hand, both of my parents do have blood pressure issues...
Thanks again.
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