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The main thing to understand about overcoming premature ejaculation is that orgasm and ejaculation are not the same activity. It is possible for men to have orgasms, even multiple orgasms, without ejaculating at all. It's even possible for men to experience orgasms in organs other than the penis, although for most men this takes a little practice. It's not necessary to have just one orgasm. Men can have many--although they usually don't once they have ejaculated.

Most of the techniques for overcoming premature ejaculation that actually work have been developed by martial arts and Asian medicine experts, and they are described in hard-to-understand terms like "bringing sexual energy back to the brain" and various movements of qi. But there is a very easy way to understand what a man actually does to extend his capacity for sexual intercourse. Basically, the training a man needs to keep from ejaculating too soon is kegel exercises, and reverse kegel exercises.

The squeeze method. Putting pressure on the perineum, the region between the base of the scrotum and the anus, will stop the ejaculation of semen. This can be done by the man's partner, or the man can do it himself. A man goes ahead and has an orgasm, without ejaculation. If the man and his partner want to have ejaculation with their climax later, it's still possible (well, more about that in a moment). But for the muscles to be strong enough to stop the flow of semen, generally they have to have been exercised.

The stop and start method. That's not hard to do. Men just need to practice stopping the flow when they urinate. Holding back urine for 15 or 20 seconds at a time exercises the same muscles needs to hold back semen. When a man gets used to the feel of the exercise, he can do it without urinating. Two or three times a day for two or three weeks usually is enough to make a difference. Men just squeeze the same muscles as they are about to ejaculate during sex.

Avoiding retrograde ejaculation. The key to making this technique work, however, is getting the muscles strong enough that the flow is interrupted at the first sensation of the flow of semen. Otherwise, the man may experience retrograde ejaculation, into the bladder. The sensation is, well, odd, and the next time the man urinates he may notice unusually frothy or foamy urine.

With a little practice, men are able to hold their erections longer, and have more than one climax before their finish.

If that sounds like too much work, there are also herbs that many men report help them with premature ejaculation, including dong quai (which is the form of "angelica" that works for men), cinnamon, cloves, and Chinese ginseng. These herbs affect the way the brain processes neurotransmitters during sex. Surprisingly, pumpkin pie at dinner (which is made with cinnamon and cloves, at least the North American version) can help some men with bedroom activities later.

And there are always these simple fixes:

  • Condoms. Condoms reduce sensation, especially if they are thick (sheepskin, for example) or coated with a numbing agent. The less sensation, the slower the progress to ejaculation.
  • Analgesic sprays. There will be prescription numbing sprays on the market in the USA in 2014. In the meantime, any product that is designed to reduce the pain of hair removal, applied to and around the penis, can also slow down climax.
  • Promescent. This is an over-the-counter numbing product already available in North America.
  • The testes hug. A man's testicles rise just as he is about to ejaculate. Tugging them back down will delay ejaculation.
  • The reverse missionary position. When the man is beneath the woman, he usually takes longer to climax.

And sometimes what is really needed is just slowing down. "Premature" is a state of mind. The longer a couple spend in foreplay and in other activities that are romantic but not necessarily sexual, the less "premature" ejaculation will be.

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