We have been married a little over a year and we were like rabbits. Two or more times a day we had sex. We enjoy watching porn together and playing with each other. For the last four months my husband wont touch me anymore. When we watch porn he only touches himself. I try to involve myself as he plays by touching him and myself but he wont touch me. Ive asked him what has changed we use to touch one another but now you wont touch me. I have tried to be spontanous and have sex with him like we use to during the day but he ignores me. Ive dressed up in sexy lingerie and stockings and we doesnt even comment or acknowledge that I am there. We have not had sex in four months. He is not shy and masturbates all over the house, he doesnt hide it. When I have asked him to have sex with me he has said he doesnt want to cum. Or in a little bit. I have no idea what has changed. I am left with laying next to him masturbating myself because I enjoy sex. Ive asked him if he is attracted to me and he said I was still beautiful. He gives me no real reason why we cant have intercourse. I know he is not cheating he stays home all the time and masturbates. Sometimes for six or more hours while I clean and cook. I dont get it?? I am not demanding, I dont ride his ass. I like to edge and I did teach him what muscles to use in order to stop an orgasm. But we would respect one another and stop when we were getting to close to climax. So what is happening here?
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Dear So confused
I would judge that it is the effect of pornography on him. (Does he ejaculate at all now?) Porn is destructive and desensitising as well as demeaning, and hugely addictive - particularly for men. You will never be able to compete with porn actresses. The danger of pornography is seen in that it is age-restricted!
You need to tell him how it is affecting you. He needs to behave as a real man and be a proper husband and not deprive you. His responsibility as a husband is to meet your sexual needs to the best of his ability, just as it is yours to satisfy him. The question is not whether he finds you beautiful or attractive, or even desires to have sex with you for himself. The question is whether he is prepared to meet your needs. His love for you should be seen in his desire to satisfy you. His relationship with you (spouse) should determine his actions in his doing all he can to satisfy you.
I hope this helps
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