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Hi all,

I've been stressed about this for a while now, I don't know what to do and hope people here can give me their opinions, share their similar experience or give me some advice.

My boyfriend was told by the doctors that he has psychosis,  not sure if that's a diagnose (from what I read, psychosis is just symptom? But Schizophrenia requires ticking a few boxes to make definite diagnosis). He has a family history of mental health problems, his dad has Schizophrenia and his sister also has been admitted to hospital for psychosis.

I met him about 9 month ago, we got along great, he's a very nice and calm person, we have a lot of fun together. He told me about his dad and sister's conditions, but he seemed perfectly healthy.

I'm hopeless attracted to him, but I don't think we are suited to be a couple, he had some commitment issues and I didn't like the fact that he smoke weed. I tried to stay away from him, but couldn't. So we decided it to be a casual thing.

3 month ago, he had his first onset of psychosis. At first, he was very teary and asked me to come over. He couldn't make it to work for two days, he started telling me about his delusions and paranoia, said he has done something wrong and police are after him, he wants to end his life before "they torture him". 

In the beginning I didn't know what was going on, I went with him trying to get legal aid, trying to see a lawyer. Soon after I realised  what was happening, I called the crisis line and was advised to take him to the hospital, which I did. I burst into tears when the doctor at the hospital was trying to convince him to stay. I bought some clothes and bare essentials for him and visited him frequently for the 2 months he is in in hospital. He was like a helpless child and was crying a lot. I felt that I had to be there for him and I wanted to be there for him. 

He firstly told me that I don't have to visit him and he does not deserve a girl like me, later he asked if I want to be his girlfriend, he said that I taught him how to appreciate others and made him see something he thought never really existed, that is love. I said ok.

He eventually got better and was released from the hospital, with medication to take at home. But he told me he lied to the doctors about not having delusions anymore, because they suggested ECT and he does not want them to electrocute him, he does not believe the doctors can help him.

He lost his job after he was admitted to the hospital, out of boredom and attempt to self medicate, he is now on synthetic weed as well as the meds.

He has become a very different person, he is very quiet, talks very little and he seem to have trouble focus on the conversation if you try to talk to him. He is very loving and tells me he misses me everyday, and it still feels amazing when he kisses and hugs me, but I feel like his presence is only half of the person he used to be, I could not really connect with him on an intellectual level.

Another thing is the physical side, at first he seems to be still interested in sex, just that he couldn't get or keep an erection, now he says he just don't like sex anymore. I've read that sex dysfunction is a common side effect of anti-psychotic drugs.  This has been very frustrating, he said he'll talk to the doctors and figure something out.

I'm worried that he will never get better, mentally or sexually. His mum and sister love me but my side of family and friends all tell me to leave him, I'm with him "secretly". I'm not sure if I can be happy if he does not get better, and whether my feelings for him will deteriorate now that we are having difficulties to connect intellectually and physically. 

Should I stick with him, or just be friends, or wait a while and see? what would you do if you were me?

 

Thank you for reading my story, appreciate your kind comments

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Hi, i am sorry you are all going through this. I am not sure what to advise but it us really concerning that he is using synthetic weed. That stuff is really dangerous and linked with psychosis. It also shoes he is not able/willing to take responsibility for hid health. Also, ask yourself does he love you or does he need you? Your family are trying to protect you. You may not like what they have to say but do listen to them with an open mind and heart. You can then make up your own mind. But make it an informed decision. You need to look after your own mental health and know your limits and boundaries. perhaps talking to a counsellor would help you sort out your feelings. If you are at university use their service. Or a mental health helpline. It is nit easy supporting someone with a chronic mental illness. It is with him for life. It doesn't mean you shouldn't. But don't do it out of pity or guilt. And get informed and stay emotionally safe. All the best.
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"It also shows he is not able/willing to take responsibility for his health." I totally agree with that.

Thank you Sally.
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Please take care and find our all you can about psychosis and schizophrenia.
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Please take care. I know this is really hard. My partner has a chronic mental illness but he has taken full responsibility for staying well (taking his meds, therapy, no drugs, lifestyle factors) and in the time we have been together he has only had one short, mild episode. But I know,its always there, always will be. My therapist tells me his is one of the most positive stories she has heard for bipolar. It would be a very different story if he was taking drugs and/or not taking his meds. Actually, it.would be a deal breaker, which he knows. Remember it is really, really important to protect your own mental health. take care.
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Hi. I am also feeling the same way and also sometimes think to stop our relationship because of his situation. My boyfriend experienced also psychosis as what the doctor says. After the psychotic experienced he took medicine and eventually he got better. But he is more quiet now and he always wanted to sleep. We seldomly go out to have a date because he prefer to just stay at home. He is not sensitive anymore to my feelings. But after medication he never experienced again hearing voices or seeing people that was'nt there. We thought he experience this because of too much stress and pressure in his previous work. Do you think that this might the cause? Because he is not taking any weed or any kind of drugs and his family doesnt have any background of this kind. I always asked him if he is still experiencing those episodes and he always say no but i am not sure if he is telling the truth. I really dont know also what to do. I can feel that he loves me and cares about me and i do also but sometimes i think of the future if i can handle still this kind of situation. Now he is working again for almost 4 months after 3months of rest. I thank God for healing my boyfriend and i am still praying that He will never experienced this again. May i ask how many months does your boyfriend experienced it?
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