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My husband recently decided he does not want to be with me I'm going on 9 weeks pregnant. I'm very sad about this because this is something we both wanted and now he is talking divorce and for me to get rid of my baby (not gonna happen). My husband also suffers from a mental illness. Even though this happened I do miss him and love him we have been together for 4 and a half years. I'm so confused and stressed now I'm worried the stress is taking a toll on the baby I'm carrying. I don't want to lose my baby.

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Hi Heather! First of all a HUGE hug for you! One thing that REALLY jumps out at me is this question - did he decide to leave after you found out you were pregnant? Also what mental illness does he suffer from? Do you happen to know what drugs he is taking for his disorder? I have a feeling that IF this has come out of left field and knocked you for 6. This might have more to do with his worry about passing on his illness to said baby. ALSO some anti-depressents have been shown to cause birth defects, IF he has talked to a doctor and that doctor was worried about the health of a fetus, he might just be FREAKING OUT about "causing" his child harm! Try and take it easy - as you have already experienced, dealing with someone that has mental illness is a hard time (sometimes), you are always on edge, or walking on egg shells, never knowing when the disease will rear it's head or not. I feel for you that's for sure, stress can cause higher rates of blood pressure - which isn't good for the baby. Just take her easy, what happens - between you and he - will take some time and therapy. You are only in charge of how you will deal with all of this and the health of your baby. He obviously has some demons he needs to work on, in the mean time, you need to heal and become OK with either outcome! Something has triggered your husband, do you think I'm right about his fear for the baby? Or was it something else?

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We found out on December 7 everything was fine he was calling people and he was very excited. We got into an argument on december 30th and I had him go to the hospital because I had never seen him like that and I was worried for him. He's getting treated and he says he wants nothing to do with me and that I should get the abortion because he thinks it's a mistake to have it. He is a Schizophrenic but he has never put a hand on me when we fight he goes to his parents to cool off which is great. Something was not right that night and I thought it would be best for him to get hospitalized. I'm not sure if he is just really mad at me or what but I did what I thought was right at the time. Now I kinda wish I had just called and had his mom come get him. I'm so confused this is suppose to be the happiest time of our life. I am still really excited to have the baby but really sad that my husband is not her to enjoy the doctors and pregnacy with me.

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As you now with Schizophrenia, different things can be the trigger. You did what your heart told you, sure he's mad - who wouldn't be? BUT you have to remember this, he was NOT rational - thus the decision to have him hospitalized. He probably is NOT in a "normal" state yet, and is saying ALL of these things to lash out at everyone - including you. So hang tight, he NEEDS help - plain and simple! YOU need to focus on getting yourself emotionally stable enough to handle what might come along with this, also for the good of your baby. Like you said this is a HAPPY time, so give him some room, IF he is on the right medications and STILL is insisting on splitting, then this might have been in the cards for quite some time. IF he is having an episode it will be he and he alone to get through this. Just because someone is mentally ill does NOT give them carte blanche to attack and say terrible things to their loved ones. IF they are that out of control then they need to be treated even more.
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Thank you for your advice I needed it. I did call the hospital where he was he answered the phone we talked for like 5 minutes. He told me right now he doesn't want to come home he said maybe when he gets better things might change. I have my fingers crossed and I have decided to give him time to get better I did tell him the phone is always open to him. I think he still mad but at least he talked to me and didn't hangup. Thanks again I really hope things workout because I love him and I know he loves me also he just needs to get better.

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I hope so too! It's a HARD thing being in love with someone that CAN be unstable! Been there done that honey, I (unfortunately) weren't as strong as you, and HAD to leave for my own sanity. Take care of YOU and your little angel. You being healthy and happy, will help him get out of this depth he is in. He CAN'T blame you for being scared. Even though they are living it, they can't see what they are doing to everyone else. Is his illness genetic or is he the first one in his family? Also perhaps take a look at his medications and just do some research on them. I just want to make sure that this is going to be the healthiest pregnancy you can have. Some fetuses have drug problems from their mother mainly, but also it has been proven that the fathers drug use can also be a problem!
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first u give birth to baby and think that ur husband is on holiday after the birth of the baby u go and convince him and say him look nw we r three and we had a lot of responsibility ahead ur r my life come with me.....
this thing is definately gona help
take care god bless u
if u think i have help u then add me as ur frnd on face book adikted143
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My husband did the same thing to me! Except he tore up all his important papers out of his wallet, sold both of our cars, canceled all insurance, sold all of the contents of or apartment, closed our bank accounts and cancelled all our credit cards. And from what I understand he left on a bus to who knows where.
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