So me and my bf have been having the best sex when we started dating. We had sex daily sometimes multiple times a day. It went down to a couple times a week, to once a week, once every two weeks, once a month, and now we haven't had sex for 3 months. But here is the issue. He denies me sex when I ask or try to initiate. I have walked out on him masturbating to porn. I know masturbation and sex is different but the fact he is choosing porn over me is tearing me apart inside. Just last night, I looked on his phone and seen he was on a website asking people for inappropriate pictures. I view it different from porn because porn is like a broad spectrum. But asking specific people for pictures of themselves, I view that as cheating. He knows this as I caught him on the website months before but we were having sex then. I confronted him about it and we got into a huge fight. Saying how I'm pushing him away and he just kept pointing out my flaws and mistakes. He has been on this website for the past 3 months. He says he loves me but why would he do this to me if he really did? Right now im staying somewhere else, and we only text each other. We are still together but it makes me more worried he's going to take this cheating on me all the way to actually doing it physically. I need help, advice, whatever I can get. I want to make this relationship work. What is happening and what is going on inside his head!!!!
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Hello.
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult situation. Relationships can be complex, and it's important to address issues like these with care and communication. While I'm not a relationship expert, I can offer some general advice on how to approach this situation.
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Open Communication: Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. It's crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings, concerns, and needs. Try to express yourself calmly and non-judgmentally, allowing your partner to share their perspective as well.
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Seek Professional Help: If the issues seem too complex to handle on your own, consider seeking the help of a professional counselor or therapist. Couples therapy can provide a safe space to address underlying problems and work on improving your relationship.
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Respect Boundaries: It's essential to respect each other's boundaries and desires. If your partner is not in the mood for sex or any intimate activity, it's important not to pressure or guilt them. At the same time, if you feel your boundaries are being crossed, communicate that as well.
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Address the Porn and Online Behavior: It's essential to discuss how you both feel about pornography and online interactions with others. Everyone has different views on these topics, and understanding each other's boundaries can help avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
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Self-Reflection: Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and needs in the relationship. Think about what you want from the partnership and what you are willing to compromise on.
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Give Each Other Space: Taking some time apart to cool off and gain perspective can be beneficial for both of you. However, don't let the distance go on indefinitely. Eventually, you'll need to address the issues together.
Remember, it's not uncommon for relationships to go through ups and downs. It's essential to work together and find solutions that work for both of you. However, if your partner's behavior continues to cause you distress and they are unwilling to work on the relationship, you may need to consider whether this relationship is healthy for you in the long run.
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