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I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. I love the sh*t out of him, we're best friends, I've met his parents, he's met mine and he's told me he see's a future with me. I believe him and I want to see the best in him because he has treated me well in every regard except for one.

Three months into our relationship i discovered that he had been paying a girl for online sex. This all happened before we began dating, but he was still chatting to her on Skype (general stuff) but I believe he wanted to meet her. (He had asked if she was gonna be in Greece round about the time he would go there-he's from Greece). I confronted him about it. He explained everything and deleted her. A month later i went on to discover a bunch of online cyber videos he recorded with other women-before and after i confronted him about the girl on Skype. He then admitted that he was alone for a long time and resorted to this and porn and somehow became addicted to it. I almost left him but seeing his tears and remorse, I decided to give him another chance. And while most of the time I am happy, and working on the forgiveness, I cannot seem to forget and I'm haunted by his indiscretions. 8 months later, deciding to forget all the hurt from last year, I saw on his phone that he had viewed the very same website where he used to engage in cyber sex. Please note, I didn't snoop;i asked to use his phone (google)-he gave it to me willingly and there it appeared. He claims he was just looking at pictures, nothing happened. He says lately he has been feeling sexually low and he wanted to see if he'd 'feel' anything... I am hurt and angry and so disappointed that this man i love so much has this problem. And I want to trust him and believe in him but i'm having a hard time forgetting and i'm beginning to feel like i am not enough. I've read various internet sites about addiction etc... And I must say, I don't believe its an addiction ie; he doesn't wake up at night to go look at the internet, he spends all his time with me and he's never engaged in such behaviour in front of me but then again, whose to say it won't happen in the future. I am so conflicted. I am hurt but i'm trying to keep an open mind. But it's hard...

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Hi Honeybee..!!!!

                        It looks like your man has a kind of addiction. It's one I've seen before in a friend. He loved his wife and kids unconditionally but when it came to porn or flirting he just could not help himself. All this was done when he was alone where he could become or have an alter ego and the stuff he said to these others he would never dream of saying to his wife. It was'nt love it was just like he needed to act dirty I guess because it was hidden behind a computer. It came to a head when he was asked to meet a woman he'd been having this cyber relationship with, he did arrange it but chickened out as he knew the woman would meet the real him and not the person he was on screen. like you his wife found out and after the initial shock and shouting they made changes in their relationship and I guess did things a little different behind closed doors I don't know as he never digressed what they got up to exactly but he seemed a lot happier in his marriage.

Men usually have a high sex drive and it's a fact they always look at other women it's just with modern technology it's so easy to do so many things like this at the click of a button. Sometimes men have hang ups or fears too and mask them by doing silly things to feel better. I guess after doing something like this it manifests as a kind of addiction as its the thrill of doing something naughty, a dirty secret I suppose but I think you need to ask what he wants of you and you decide if your happy to comply?? After all it's your life, happiness and future you need to consider. Maybe one last chance and then that's it after everything is out in the open.

Good Luck..!!

Castiel

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