I'm married from almost 5 months now and my husband & I couldn't have intercourse as yet. I feel extreme pain and my vaginal skin burns when my husband tries penis insertion which makes it very difficult for me to feel comfortable no matter how wet & turned on I am. My husband is a very loving & caring person and he doesn't want my first experience to be painful hence he gives up when he sees me in extreme pain. At first i thought i have some medical problem like stubborn hymen or something, however i visited doctor & she checked my vaginal entry and told me there is nothing wrong with me and space inside is quite wide hence there shouldn't be a problem. Same doctor advised me to see a sexologist as she thought it is psychological fear which is preventing me to have intercourse so i met sexologist too along with my husband however he was of no help, he derived conclusion that i am unable to get fully excited hence i am not able to co-operate in intercourse which is not the case. I do get very turned on. We do everything thats required for a successful intercourse. We have foreplay, my husband makes sure i have my orgasm first, he gets fully erect and i fully wet before he tries to enter me, still the results are same. Its so frustrating that now we've given up trying. Instead we try to spend time out and avoid spending time in bedroom in private. He loves me truely hence so far i've not seen any negative effects of this on him however i'm scared that with time he may get drifted away from me if i dont give him this pleasure that all men look out for no matter how loving & caring they are. I've also tried persuading him so that he becomes rough & enters me forcefully despite of my pain but i dont know why is he so gentle. I talked to my childhood friend about this & she scared the hell out of me telling me that i'm not normal and people like me dont have a normal sex life even after getting the hymen broken.
Any advise would be most appreciated as my married life has become a nightmare because of this. Help !!!
Any advise would be most appreciated as my married life has become a nightmare because of this. Help !!!
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If you are having an orgasm before intercourse you may be too tense to enter. The vagina will swell up with stimulation and if you are tense it could be a swollen wall and shut. Have him stimulate you so you are wet AND use KY or other lube to ensure a good slide in. Then have him go for it.
The other option is for him to do the above and you have to just relax. You could try to tense your entire body as tight as possible for a few seconds and then totally relax. Spread wide your legs and lay your hands on the bed. Close your eyes and if you have to listen to the music. Think of anything but him entering you.
If he can get inside, he may want to try going in a little deeper each time until fully inside. This would be the gradual approach. The second option is to slide in as quick as possible and once all the way inside stop. Then slowly pull out a little and back in. This would be the reverse of the gradual entering. Each time he would be making a longer stroke into you.
Once your vagina is accepting and you learn to relax and let him in you can start participating again.
Another option is to have him lay down and you mount him. Then you control the above.
Good luck and give feed back for reference.
The other option is for him to do the above and you have to just relax. You could try to tense your entire body as tight as possible for a few seconds and then totally relax. Spread wide your legs and lay your hands on the bed. Close your eyes and if you have to listen to the music. Think of anything but him entering you.
If he can get inside, he may want to try going in a little deeper each time until fully inside. This would be the gradual approach. The second option is to slide in as quick as possible and once all the way inside stop. Then slowly pull out a little and back in. This would be the reverse of the gradual entering. Each time he would be making a longer stroke into you.
Once your vagina is accepting and you learn to relax and let him in you can start participating again.
Another option is to have him lay down and you mount him. Then you control the above.
Good luck and give feed back for reference.
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