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My boyfriend and I have been trying to have sex for the last 3 months, but he can't get inside me. Apart from intercourse we have a perfectly normal and enjoyable sex life. It is just when we try to have sex I close up, I have tried fingering myself just before to make sure I am ready and that is fine, I can fit four fingers inside then when he tries to put his penis inside it is just like a brick wall. Is there something wrong with me, I am still a virgin and he is not (so there is nothing wrong with him). The worst thing is everytime we try and fail he gets realy upset and depressed. Please can someone help I hate seeing him like that and I realy want to have sex with him.

Please help,



Hi Jam,

What happens if he fingers you? Do you close down then?

I think there is some anxiety behind this. If you can get four fingers in he should be able to penetrate you some, unless he is extremely large. Are you using lubrication? How much foreplay is there before he tries to penetrate you? You need to try to relax and not tense.

Just some things to consider for now. Hope they help.