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My husband is a very hard working,well educated, well behaved and a loving person in general.He has never touched alcohol and is very jovial and talkative by nature.We have been married for almost two years and we do not have any kids.I belong to a very happy and decent family. I had to quit a decent bank job in my home country to join him in USA after marriage and currently my visa does not permit me to work. I own a credit card, two bank accounts and a drivers license as well. Its been hard for me to adjust to a new place altogether and had health issues as well apart from the boredom and having nothing to do suddenly after so many years of school, college and jobs.

My problem is that since our first month of marriage, my husband would get angry and quarrelsome on small issues . He would get very angry suddenly in between talks or if I disturbed him in anyway in the night when he went to sleep .If I tried to get closer to him or hold him when he would be angry, he would push me, beat me, pull my hair or shout at me, exaggerate and manipulate things simply to win. He would also blackmail me of divorce and sending me back to our home country alone (he once did that and we were apart for a few months although he was sorry after fifteen days and begged me to come back and I forgave him and came back with him after some months).He would call his or my parents at odd times and complain to them whenever we had a small argument and that would just irritate me and make things big. Once cops visited us at our home after our neighbors complained of noise and potential domestic violence but I refused to divulge anything for fear of losing my family.

He belongs to a once poor and an abusive family and his mother has been abused and suppressed by his father. He had a troubled childhood and he was made to do tough household chores. I am not on speaking terms with his parents since an year and they do not get to interfere much in our matters as my husband's relationship with his family turned sour since a year due to their high expectations from him and now they don't talk much like before but his complaining calls continue to my busy parents who get much disturbed by his kiddish complaining calls. My parents otherwise

I too used to get agitated, almost lost it many times then I also started poking him more in spite of keeping calm as I did initially.Now I have been suffering from severe depression.I do not know whom to see for treatment (psychiatrist or psychologist) and would also like to take my husband to therapy or counselling or medication. We have been planning for a baby and a house lately and he is going to pursue higher studies in a month.He is very caring, gentle and understanding otherwise but his anger outbursts are violent, sudden, erratic and uncontrollable. Everything seems to all right for days and suddenly one day the picture changes in seconds and the cycle continues at an interval of a month or a few days. I do not know what to do and how to save my marriage. We both love each other and can't live without each other. But when he is angry he just wants me away at any cost which makes me feel very isolated and lonely and I refuse to do that.This in turn goes against us. I too am unable to control my speech sometimes as I feel rejected and worthless because of his behavior. WE BOTH NEED HELP.

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i am also experiencing the same thing. before marriage i had been engaged for a year. my husband used to be so calm and supportive. he pretented to be in love with me so madly that i trusted him and fell in love witth his nature. he cared about me, never tried to hurt me. used to send me romantic msgs everyday. he never let me know about his furious nature. he pretended to be so cool and calm but in the very first week of my marriage i saw exactly opposite side of him. he started getting angry over trivial issues, insulting others, hurting their feelings. he lost all his respect in my eyes. His behavior with me also changed. no more romantic things, he never tries to console me or take care of my feelings. i thought he jst put a mask on his face before marriage to get me as his wife. after marriage, his true face came to light. now i am in new zealand with him. he doesnt like me to ask him any kind of question even if i ask him do u like the food i made for u? he starts beating me. punching me on face. putting pillow on my face , tries to kill me sometimes i fear. i am already suffering from depression as i left my family and my lecturer job to live with him in new zealand. but he doesnt understands me at all. i got to know after my marriage of his past relationship with a girl with whom he lived for more than two years in newzealand. i was so depressed after knowing this that i wanted to kill myself. my doctor gave me sleeping pills to calm my mind. i became suicidal. my elder sister in law also tortured me asking for dowry. my husband never supported me against this demand of her. now he beats me every third or fourth day. i have black bloody sighns on all ove rmy body. even then i go to work, it hurts a lot( i work as bagpacker in a supermarket to support our living. i had a black eye once aand everyone on work asked me , what happened? had a fight? got a punch? i feel so humiliated. my husband says it looks ok you should go to work, nobody will notice it. such a mean guy.. i have told my sister bout it not my parents yet, i dont want to hurt them, i dont know what to do. i feel like m living in a hell. i feel like killing myself .

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I am facing same problem.i am married since 6 months but can't enjoy newly married days just coz of this.i am fade up.his profile is very good education wise and rich too.but i am not happy.what to do?i should take dicision before having kid to leave him or stay with him.plz help me.replay fast.
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dear sonu(darekar-mate) please give some time to ur husband so that the problem will resolve itself out ???
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yeah....give some time to him.........

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