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My husband has had 3 heart attacks (2 years ago). You know the advice he was given; Stop smoking weed, take these meds, regular Dr. visits, regular exercise, etc.. He was really good at first. I told him that if he ever went back to smoking weed and not taking care of himself, I would be done with our 20 year marriage. Since his heart attacks, he gave up his livelyhood of building homes. So, I am the ONLY bread winner in our family. He has gone back to smoking his weed, he will also spend countless hours in front of whatever game fancies him on his PS3, he has stopped his regular exercise and thinks it's good enough to walk his dog once a day at the park. After this dog walk, it wears him out and he lays down for a couple hours. I have started my withdrawl process. I no longer am intimate with him, I do not offer any conversation with him, and have been relocated to working 3 hours away from home. He stays in the house with the kids, 2 are in school (senior year and sophomore year), and the other is 21, I rent an apartment in the city I work in and visit the family on my time off. What/how do I do now? I love and care for him, but do not want to be married to an addict any longer. He's lazy and has not grown in maturity at all. He did start smoking weed with his parents around the age 12 or 13. He is now 44. I have told him that if he wants to be in this marriage, he has to test clean.

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You cannot change your husband, so please stop blaming yourself for his failure to quit. You've drawn your boundary with him. Now if he doesn't quit, leave him. You have to be firm about him getting better, and you have to remove yourself from his life if he is not responding to you. DOes that make sense?
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