Hi! I have been marrried for 7 years and have no children. Recently I am having some gyanecological problem and is under treatment. My husband works in software company and spends most of his at home in fron of the computer. He always have his dinner not before 1.30a.m. and sometimes not even before 4.00a.m I work in a shop where on some days I need to go early at about 8.50a.m. I have tried to change his behaviour but in vain. In addition, he has the habit of watching porn and nude pictures, which really divrs me mad. We hardly have any sex, because of his late night habits. But, I have found in some occasions where after I felt asleep he had watched some of those porn or nude pictures and masturbated. I have felt deprived and ignored. From the very first day of our marriage I have been seeing these habits in him. At that we didn't had computer so he used to cut nude pictures from newspapers, magazines, etc. and used those for his fantacies. He had been to US for almost 6 months and then at that time he had opened accounts in some adult sites like AFF, etc., where he has stated his marital status as separated. We had lot of fights and after 2 years of our marriage he went away to live with his parents. His parents supported him and we were having the worst problem for about 3 years. Then I shifted to the city where he was living with his parents. But, he continued to live with his parents and used to come to see me only on Saturday nights. Then, he went to US without informing me. I was shattered, devasted. When he came I started once more to convince him about our relationship. After few months he came to UK and I joined him after a month after convincing him in all the possible way. Now we are in UK for 1.5 years but his habits havn't changed. However, I must admit he does show lot of affection but he hasn't changed his habit of porn and nude pictires. I do feel inferior and think that I might not be the whom he really wants. To me he is the one whom I love above everything. I don't want to shatter our marriage. I want a blissful married life, where I don't need to go to bed thinking that my husband doesn't fancy me. I think I am loosing my mind. at time I feel suicidal. I know I too have drawbacks. I am very much short-tempered. But I am very much possesive of him. I can't live a single day without him. Please, somebody help me. I want to get out of this. I want to start everything afresh. Please help me.
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Might i suggest some counseling, at least for you. Many men refuse to seek help as they feel that they and their marraige is fine.
Computer porn is rampant. By him cutting out pictures of nude women before the damn computer came to be, tells me he had an addiction. Lots of men/women look at porn, watch dirty movies and read the rag mags, but when it starts to take over ones life, it's an addiction. My husband does the same thing and after countless arguments over it, i just don't care anymore. I just go about my business and ignore him. When i used to complain about his porn stuff, he would ask me if i was jealous. From the day he said that i just didn't give a c**p anymore.
My advice to you would be to talk to him and see where is head is at. You have probably told him a hundred times how his habit makes you feel, and they just think we're over reacting. Speak with a counselor, it will help you determine just how much longer you can continue with this or put a stop to it. They will not tell you what to do but they give plenty of advice, you do with it what you will.
Computer porn is rampant. By him cutting out pictures of nude women before the damn computer came to be, tells me he had an addiction. Lots of men/women look at porn, watch dirty movies and read the rag mags, but when it starts to take over ones life, it's an addiction. My husband does the same thing and after countless arguments over it, i just don't care anymore. I just go about my business and ignore him. When i used to complain about his porn stuff, he would ask me if i was jealous. From the day he said that i just didn't give a c**p anymore.
My advice to you would be to talk to him and see where is head is at. You have probably told him a hundred times how his habit makes you feel, and they just think we're over reacting. Speak with a counselor, it will help you determine just how much longer you can continue with this or put a stop to it. They will not tell you what to do but they give plenty of advice, you do with it what you will.
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