I just don't know how to respond to this. I run, and other runners pass me and wave or say hello like they are part of the same club I'm in, and it feels good to run, and I feel compelled to run, and I feel like c**p if I can't run, but I'm pretty slow, and I don't always have the latest gear, and I have only done a handful of races.
So I don't know. Maybe I am not a runner. Maybe my slow speed makes me a jogger. I don't know the difference. I have stopped questioning it, because there's no point. I just get out there. My running fills my sister with jealousy and my husband with admiration and, hopefully, my daughters with inspiration, and me? It makes me feel good.
So I don't know. Maybe I am not a runner. Maybe my slow speed makes me a jogger. I don't know the difference. I have stopped questioning it, because there's no point. I just get out there. My running fills my sister with jealousy and my husband with admiration and, hopefully, my daughters with inspiration, and me? It makes me feel good.
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Just yesterday it hit me. I'm going to work on an article about it and submit it somewhere (RW?), but what defines it for me is "running from something". Yep. To be a runner, you need some demon on your shoulder. This unquenchable thirst to run faster or farther or more often doesn't come about from someone wanting to get a "workout". The casual guy that stairmasters one day, bicycles another, shoots hoops another, and runs a day here or there isn't a runner.
What make a runner in my mind is the person pushing on because of something echoing around in their head. Somewhere along the line, some demon climbed on their shoulder and lit a fire in their belly. One of my best running buddies is an alcoholic. He says the day he quits running is the day he's off the wagon. He's traded one compulsion for another. I believe it. I run because 31 years ago a doctor said "he'll never run again". Every runner I've met has something on their shoulder pushing them through that next mile. The "joggers" of the world don't. It's just burning a few calories to them. A runner has something to prove. They need to get through a run and turn their head to one side and whisper to that little devil, "see, I can".
What make a runner in my mind is the person pushing on because of something echoing around in their head. Somewhere along the line, some demon climbed on their shoulder and lit a fire in their belly. One of my best running buddies is an alcoholic. He says the day he quits running is the day he's off the wagon. He's traded one compulsion for another. I believe it. I run because 31 years ago a doctor said "he'll never run again". Every runner I've met has something on their shoulder pushing them through that next mile. The "joggers" of the world don't. It's just burning a few calories to them. A runner has something to prove. They need to get through a run and turn their head to one side and whisper to that little devil, "see, I can".
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jrjo's 2nd paragraphIt's giving me the creeps because it hits so close to home. 8O
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jrjo's 2nd paragraphIt's giving me the creeps because it hits so close to home. 8O I totally agree with this also. I just never realized it before. I was fat, and then I ran and now I'm thin. So when I stop running... ?
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This has been a great discussion so far!!!
OK, I can buy that, to a point......I started running again three years ago for a similar reason, because when I first got sick I was told I wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING the way I used to ever again. I have, many times, turned to that demon (doctor's voice in my head) and said "bite me, I did it!" That was my motivation to run my first half marathon, even though I did terrible by time standards, I finished. And in part, it is my motivation to keep running, but I don't quite see how the main qualifier is the desire to get "better" rather than just to keep running. Why can't you have something to prove by getting out there 5,6,7 days a week and putting in the miles, running as long as you can? Why does it have to be about constantly getting faster, farther rather than just being consistent, like Laurie says? Getting out there on cold, rainy, nasty days when joggers and non-runners are shivering next to the fire, or TV.......spending your bonus check on a new pair of Saucony's rather than going out to dinner or buying a DVD player....melting into the pavement in August when everyone else is at the pool....stuff like that. To me, the dedication is what makes the runner, not the fancy Coolmax gear or latest techie watch or a 5:30/mile.
I wish I could do what you said, Laur. Stop questioning and just run. For the mere joy of being able to run and nothing else.
OK, I can buy that, to a point......I started running again three years ago for a similar reason, because when I first got sick I was told I wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING the way I used to ever again. I have, many times, turned to that demon (doctor's voice in my head) and said "bite me, I did it!" That was my motivation to run my first half marathon, even though I did terrible by time standards, I finished. And in part, it is my motivation to keep running, but I don't quite see how the main qualifier is the desire to get "better" rather than just to keep running. Why can't you have something to prove by getting out there 5,6,7 days a week and putting in the miles, running as long as you can? Why does it have to be about constantly getting faster, farther rather than just being consistent, like Laurie says? Getting out there on cold, rainy, nasty days when joggers and non-runners are shivering next to the fire, or TV.......spending your bonus check on a new pair of Saucony's rather than going out to dinner or buying a DVD player....melting into the pavement in August when everyone else is at the pool....stuff like that. To me, the dedication is what makes the runner, not the fancy Coolmax gear or latest techie watch or a 5:30/mile.
I wish I could do what you said, Laur. Stop questioning and just run. For the mere joy of being able to run and nothing else.
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This has been a great discussion so far!!!
OK, I can buy that, to a point......I started running again three years ago for a similar reason, because when I first got sick I was told I wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING the way I used to ever again. I have, many times, turned to that demon (doctor's voice in my head) and said "bite me, I did it!" That was my motivation to run my first half marathon, even though I did terrible by time standards, I finished. And in part, it is my motivation to keep running, but I don't quite see how the main qualifier is the desire to get "better" rather than just to keep running. Why can't you have something to prove by getting out there 5,6,7 days a week and putting in the miles, running as long as you can? Why does it have to be about constantly getting faster, farther rather than just being consistent, like Laurie says? Getting out there on cold, rainy, nasty days when joggers and non-runners are shivering next to the fire, or TV.......spending your bonus check on a new pair of Saucony's rather than going out to dinner or buying a DVD player....melting into the pavement in August when everyone else is at the pool....stuff like that. To me, the dedication is what makes the runner, not the fancy Coolmax gear or latest techie watch or a 5:30/mile.
I wish I could do what you said, Laur. Stop questioning and just run. For the mere joy of being able to run and nothing else.
I think, Genie, an answer to your question could be that we, as humans, have a distinct, innate desire to improve ourselves. Not the cool gear and gadgets, but the thought process of: I could've run that faster. Or: This is the fastest I've run this course.
As with all aspects of our lives, if we don't improve we tend to get stagnant, which in reality, is moving backwards.
Of course, the answers are going to be as varied as those answering.
OK, I can buy that, to a point......I started running again three years ago for a similar reason, because when I first got sick I was told I wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING the way I used to ever again. I have, many times, turned to that demon (doctor's voice in my head) and said "bite me, I did it!" That was my motivation to run my first half marathon, even though I did terrible by time standards, I finished. And in part, it is my motivation to keep running, but I don't quite see how the main qualifier is the desire to get "better" rather than just to keep running. Why can't you have something to prove by getting out there 5,6,7 days a week and putting in the miles, running as long as you can? Why does it have to be about constantly getting faster, farther rather than just being consistent, like Laurie says? Getting out there on cold, rainy, nasty days when joggers and non-runners are shivering next to the fire, or TV.......spending your bonus check on a new pair of Saucony's rather than going out to dinner or buying a DVD player....melting into the pavement in August when everyone else is at the pool....stuff like that. To me, the dedication is what makes the runner, not the fancy Coolmax gear or latest techie watch or a 5:30/mile.
I wish I could do what you said, Laur. Stop questioning and just run. For the mere joy of being able to run and nothing else.
I think, Genie, an answer to your question could be that we, as humans, have a distinct, innate desire to improve ourselves. Not the cool gear and gadgets, but the thought process of: I could've run that faster. Or: This is the fastest I've run this course.
As with all aspects of our lives, if we don't improve we tend to get stagnant, which in reality, is moving backwards.
Of course, the answers are going to be as varied as those answering.
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Oh, absolutely they are, but that is the purpose of a survey, formal or informal. I'm trying to see where my own screwed up head is in relation to everyone else's.
Like my friend at work I run with sometimes.....she runs without fail 4x a week. Three at lunch and once at home, usually Saturday morning, on the weekend. She runs about 3-5 miles each time, depending on how she feels, doesn't wear a watch, could care less how fast she did the run in, doesn't race ever, but runs all year long, no matter what the weather is, and steadfastly refuses to do anything else on her running days. Like Laurie, she runs because it makes her feel good, she feels lousy the few times she doesn't get to run, and she's always happy to run with any of us, regardless of how slow we are (she's just a little faster than I am). Or alone, which she often does.
So, does that make her a "real" runner because she runs consistently or not, because she doesn't obsess over improving? I guess that's kinda the heart of my question, and where I am trying to get my head to go these days. I am just not sure I really belong in this world I have been living in for almost three years. :(
Like my friend at work I run with sometimes.....she runs without fail 4x a week. Three at lunch and once at home, usually Saturday morning, on the weekend. She runs about 3-5 miles each time, depending on how she feels, doesn't wear a watch, could care less how fast she did the run in, doesn't race ever, but runs all year long, no matter what the weather is, and steadfastly refuses to do anything else on her running days. Like Laurie, she runs because it makes her feel good, she feels lousy the few times she doesn't get to run, and she's always happy to run with any of us, regardless of how slow we are (she's just a little faster than I am). Or alone, which she often does.
So, does that make her a "real" runner because she runs consistently or not, because she doesn't obsess over improving? I guess that's kinda the heart of my question, and where I am trying to get my head to go these days. I am just not sure I really belong in this world I have been living in for almost three years. :(
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I've got a dozen facets to the thoughts I mentioned about having some "demon". I think the demon changes. And I think a runner's motivation changes. Sometimes when the weather is perfect, the miles slide by easy, and days can go by in a groove, the demon is dormant. Then along comes a challenge. Maybe it's a race on the horizon. Maybe it's the road to recovery from an injury and regaining lost ground. Maybe personal issues inside your head make the miles last sooo long as the problem stirs around and around. It's then when I see real runners run. Getting a mile done. Then the next mile. And the next mile. It might not be fast. It might not total much. But there's therapy beyond simple exercise. I guess that's where I'm going. For whatever reason, a mile means a piece of distance, a piece of life that you own. It's part of a goal. Part of your day. Part of your schedule. However the part fits in, you shape it the way you want and when your done, dang if it doesn't feel great.
I know runners who log 14:00/miles. I know joggers who log 6:00/miles. Without a passion to stay ahead of that demon nipping at your heels, I think it is jogging. Running is purposeful. It is intentional. And yes it is individual. That's why it's hard to explain.
I know runners who log 14:00/miles. I know joggers who log 6:00/miles. Without a passion to stay ahead of that demon nipping at your heels, I think it is jogging. Running is purposeful. It is intentional. And yes it is individual. That's why it's hard to explain.
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Ahhhh...now this I can relate to! Especially the therapy part. Over the last three years, I have run through the deaths of my beloved grandmother and two close friends, the stress of the breakup of my 10-year relationship, and the brief but very intense and painful one I went through last year, if you can call it that, escaped from many stressful days at work, my father's heart attack, my 35th BD, which for some reason was a mental milestone, and struggled to come back after three stress fractures sidelined me for 5 months. I was miserable during those five months, unable to run and unwilling to use any other exercise to compensate. Something very precious to me had been taken, (well that's how I looked at it, despite the fact that it was my own dumbass fault for letting them go unchecked for so long, and then trying to run on them too soon) something was definitely missing from my day, every day.
Hmmm...something more to ponder on tomorrow's run......I think I am starting to understand now.
Hmmm...something more to ponder on tomorrow's run......I think I am starting to understand now.
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Great topic - great responses everyone.
even tho' i have a wallfull of race bibs, some little trophies and medals, a poopload of old running shoes, and drawerfull of running clothes, there is no way i feel like a "runner" - Evah.
here i am schlepping away (to the tune of 950 miles last year) and sometimes it feels good and sometimes it feels awful but it always FEELS like something. it always makes me feel like i'm amongst the living.
I am running toward something - maybe?? but i am definitely running from something. too many things in life are uncontrollable--kids getting sick, 38-yo husbands having heart attacks, parents dying too young, little ones struggling to fit in, marriages sinking or swimming, people giving up and giving in to alcohol&drugs; that old world without hope.
so i am running to keep that demon in place. why else would a 44 y.o. mother of 2 in the burbs go out there every day? i have no olympic aspirations maybe it's my last chance at feeling real.
that being said, i still can not call myself a runner. probably out of fear that someone who is a runner will throw an old Nike at my head and ROTFLTAO. but, like i care. i guess i do.
next........
even tho' i have a wallfull of race bibs, some little trophies and medals, a poopload of old running shoes, and drawerfull of running clothes, there is no way i feel like a "runner" - Evah.
here i am schlepping away (to the tune of 950 miles last year) and sometimes it feels good and sometimes it feels awful but it always FEELS like something. it always makes me feel like i'm amongst the living.
I am running toward something - maybe?? but i am definitely running from something. too many things in life are uncontrollable--kids getting sick, 38-yo husbands having heart attacks, parents dying too young, little ones struggling to fit in, marriages sinking or swimming, people giving up and giving in to alcohol&drugs; that old world without hope.
so i am running to keep that demon in place. why else would a 44 y.o. mother of 2 in the burbs go out there every day? i have no olympic aspirations maybe it's my last chance at feeling real.
that being said, i still can not call myself a runner. probably out of fear that someone who is a runner will throw an old Nike at my head and ROTFLTAO. but, like i care. i guess i do.
next........
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Well, I'm at that point where training pretty much consumes me and my time but I'm still having fun. I still enjoy other things in life. There's always room for enjoyment.
I'm just holding off on calling myself an 'athlete' until training/racing begins to become a source of financial income instead of outgo.
Will it ever happen? Probably not, but that little part of me that says 'Yes it can.' is what gets me out the door on those days where I'd rather stay inside.
I'm just holding off on calling myself an 'athlete' until training/racing begins to become a source of financial income instead of outgo.
Will it ever happen? Probably not, but that little part of me that says 'Yes it can.' is what gets me out the door on those days where I'd rather stay inside.
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I like the idea that I am an athlete, even if I would fall into the very poor category of athlete. And I struggled with the idea that I had become an athlete, albeit late in life. I wasn't athletic at all in HS or college, and at age 38 weighed 240 lbs on a 5'8 frame.
The change in my body has been dramatic. But more importantly the change in how I view myself has changed. I like to run, but for me running without a purpose doesn't do it. I love to race, but pick my races carefully. I like to challange myself, and have even learned to love the challange when I fail. I also enjoy being part of a community of athletes, if it be here, my running group or even volunteering at the occasional race.
I see myself as an athlete. A poor one if judged against others, but a pretty damn fine one when judged against myself.
The change in my body has been dramatic. But more importantly the change in how I view myself has changed. I like to run, but for me running without a purpose doesn't do it. I love to race, but pick my races carefully. I like to challange myself, and have even learned to love the challange when I fail. I also enjoy being part of a community of athletes, if it be here, my running group or even volunteering at the occasional race.
I see myself as an athlete. A poor one if judged against others, but a pretty damn fine one when judged against myself.
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Wow. More powerful words, for me, have never been spoken. Alan, you HAVE made tremendous strides since you first came to Kick, as have all of us in our own way, at our own pace. That's really what it's all about, being an athlete, no?
RR, I know what you mean about being amongst the living. After I got sick, I lived in a completely different world from where I had been and it was only through a very close friend with a terminal illness that I was able to see that, for me, the world of the living still existed, even though it was now an altered version of what I was used to. I had forgotten that it was running that brought me back to that until I read your post. As I mentioned to someone offline, I think I have let my "other" demons, especially the Mommie Dearest demon of "You Are Not Good Enough" dominate the running fire demon who is supposed to be spurring me on to my own personal victories, whatever they may be.
This has been such a valuable discussion and has spurred some offline discussion as well, I really appreciate everyone being so honest about who you are and why you run. I love the fact that in our community we can be supportive and encouraging to others simply by being who we are, even if our basic premise disagrees with someone else's. Keep the posts coming, there are a lot of you out there who have not spoken up yet! And thank you, for much you will never know you have done.
RR, I know what you mean about being amongst the living. After I got sick, I lived in a completely different world from where I had been and it was only through a very close friend with a terminal illness that I was able to see that, for me, the world of the living still existed, even though it was now an altered version of what I was used to. I had forgotten that it was running that brought me back to that until I read your post. As I mentioned to someone offline, I think I have let my "other" demons, especially the Mommie Dearest demon of "You Are Not Good Enough" dominate the running fire demon who is supposed to be spurring me on to my own personal victories, whatever they may be.
This has been such a valuable discussion and has spurred some offline discussion as well, I really appreciate everyone being so honest about who you are and why you run. I love the fact that in our community we can be supportive and encouraging to others simply by being who we are, even if our basic premise disagrees with someone else's. Keep the posts coming, there are a lot of you out there who have not spoken up yet! And thank you, for much you will never know you have done.
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I like that too!! It's a great way for those of us who have people tugging at us for something all day and night long to realize that it is OK to do something that is all for ourselves and no one else. :)
I had one of the best runs of my life today, at lunch here at work. Set out by myself and ran into one of the other girls here who runs and we ran most of the way together, she runs the same turtle pace that I do, which I did not know before, chatting the whole time about work, kids, the holidays, her garden....no watches, I have no clue how far we went, I just know it was the general area that I run in, and for the first time in ages I don't care. I was following her lead so I'm not even sure where all we went. It was just so nice to run just to be out there in the gorgeous 40 degree weather with the sun shining!! I think I could get used to this! I did just get a GPS but I think I am merely going to use it so I don't have to map routes anymore. WHEEEEE!!!!!
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