i am a 22 yr old female that lost her virginity to guy in 2005 which i was partying alot hanging out with different friends that didn't know i was virgin and that was always talking about sex this sex that opposed to the friend thats supported the fact i was a virgin and was always tellin me not to have sex just because and wait and save myself for when i whouth the time and the person was right. but at this party was one of those people that would tell me that i was 19 well ok make it short i avoided him until i moved in with that friend and his fiance which is best friends with the guy that took my virginity well for my 21st birhtday they invited him to go with some of to the casino so i was already nervous but i didn't tell neone cuz i felt ridiculous. well nothing happen except a very long quiet carride home well we started talking on the phone alot and well the past time he stayed here we had sex twice and well it was also my first time giving oral sex after he gave me oral. i feel like i have issues seens how i didn't enjoy ne of it because the whole time i was 100% nervous and feeling insecure because i am not at all very experienced and i feel like i was good enough well witht hat said everytime he has been in town i have avoided actually seeing him because i am so nervous the whole sex thing will come into play and i am a chicken sh*t but we still talk on the phone and i just wish i could tell him id like to not have sex anymore till ia m totally ready but seens how ive had sex with him before i feel retarded saying that and i feel like he would just be like ok and that would push him away and then again avoiding and ignoring him when he is in town is gonna run him off to i unno what to do i feel so childish and by the way beside the three times i have had sex with him i had sex with one other person and i haven't talked to him since that happened in early 2006 because i have avoided him for that long i mean i stay at home because i am scared i'll run into him when i would go out but i was a intoxicated when i had sex with him and i just feel like i have issues and i would like anyone to give their insight on my whole problem