My amazing caring boyfriend broke up with me the other day because of his depression and anxiety saying that I don't deserve this and I deserve better. He pushed me away before but we got over that and I told him I was going no where but this time it is different he told me he needs to be on his own for a while and he needs space for himself. I have been very understanding about this but I have told him that I'm still going to be their for him and I just don't know how much space to give him I send him a little text every morning I don't expect a reply but I just need him to know that I'm their. He pushes people away because he doesn't want to hurt them but he's not getting help for what is going on with him and I cant stand to see him like this its just not fair! He feels like he cant talk to anyone so I need him to know I'm their and going to be for as long as he wants me to be. Ino he loves me even though he's not showing it at the moment.
I gave him a kiss the other night and thanked him for opening up to me and he said that their should be no kisses until he's okay because he just wont stick it out looking after himself, I'm taking this in a positive way that he wants me to wait, but how long do I wait for. I told him I would be his friend and that I would be their for him but he wont talk to a professional he's afraid too. I love him so much and I don't want anything to happen to him but its just killing me seeing him this way because he is such a good person. I need him to realize that I'm not giving up on him, because ino he's afraid of me leaving and getting hurt that's why he pushed me away.
Also going through a very similar situation...I knew he had issues with depression\anxiety before we started dating as he was very open about it and I told him it didn't change how I felt about him. He was the one who initiated the relationship and initially we lived over 500km apart but he would visit as often as possible and we talked everyday either via text or on the phone. He told me how I made him happy and having me in his life was really helping him.
I ended up moving back to my hometown (woohoo only an hour and half drive away from each other now!) and he would visit every weekend and things were great. After a little while he started feeling torn between spending time with me and his friends - he only had two days a week in town so I get it was tough to fit everyone in. I'm not exactly a high maintenance girlfriend so I was ok with him having guy time as long as we got to spend at least one day together! Eventually he started talking about how I deserved better and that we should break up - he even tried to get me to hate him so I would leave him. I was able to assure him that I was happy with him and that he deserved to be happy just as much as I did.
The summer was an extremely bad fire season and I got evacuated from my town and ended up staying with him at his place for a little while and once again things were great - we survived not only the stress of our hometown potentially burning down but also being stuck with each other!
SO cut to... him finally getting a job in the same town as me (both of our hometown) and just as he was about to move here he seemed to get overwhelmed\freaked out so he went back on medication he was on before we met... and then broke up with me via text message...Not ideal. Unlike last time he refused to see me in person, and he avoided me. Once again he told me I deserved better and apparently the girls in his previous relationships got scared and left him as soon as he started slipping into the depression hole. He said he couldn't handle the pressure of being my partner and that he felt stressed and guilty all the time (I assume because he thought he wasn't enough for me). This was almost two months ago...he has told me he still really cares about me and has said things like "I have faith in the future" or "I can't be there for you right now." He avoided seeing me in person for over a month so I finally went out to his place to talk...He told me his position hasn't changed and that he thinks maybe he'll be alone forever. I've tried giving space but also worry about him and want him to know my feelings haven't changed even if he's hurt me. He said he would like to be friends - though he's still been avoiding me and will often not respond if I send him messages (i've tried to tease him like old times but not sure if that's a great tactic as he isn't very responsive). I strongly believe I was a positive thing in his life as I always did my best to offer support and never judged\put him down. I'd get him to step outside his comfort zone a bit, but would always try and make it fun and exciting not daunting. Plus him telling me he had fun with me and that I made him happy.
I guess I'm wondering if I should just let it be and stop reaching out or keeping fighting for him? I know he's never had anyone fight to be with him before, so it could be comforting or terrifying for him...He told me he'd left me know if he felt like doing something together...as he flaked once again on my recent attempt for us hang out - even just as friends.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated as i have no clue how to make someone realize they're no consolation prize and that I'm willing to stick it out even when things get ugly! It seems the harder he pushes the away the harder I try to pull him back...which again may not be a great approach. I'm pretty new to the whole relationship thing, but I know I've never felt like this for someone before so if there's anything I can do to salvage it I'm willing to try. I know it's easier to push someone away than let them in and risk getting hurt again but I honestly feel we'd both regret not trying again.