Trouble staying hard during sex

Do you smoke?

Take drugs (illegal or legal)?

Are you overweight?

There are lots of possible reasons.

Does this problem also happen when you masturbate? If it doesn't then it might by in your head rather than something physical.

You have 3 parts to this question so I will answer each in turn. Firstly you have performance anxiety, this is sure to cause loss of your erection as you what you think, and believe, tends to be realised. Just the way the subconcious works. Its a part of your mind where memories are held, and automatic actions handled. The subconcious is very literal in its understanding, much like a computer. Your thinking your negative thoughts, your subconcious thinks this is what you want and you get what you thought. Solution, think positive thoughts durring sex EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS YOU ARE NOT AT YOUR BEST. Remember it took time to reach where you are, it will take time to overwrite your bad programming with good. It can be sped up by daydreaming that you are having perfect sex, over and over, this is 70% as good as really doing it as far as retraining your subcioncious goes.

The 2nd part is the retrograde ejaculation, I think it is called. When you stop yourself ejaculating this way, you think you aren't shooting, but you are, the pain is the proof. What is happening is that the sperm is being forced past your prostate into your bladder. Your prostate has tightened to stop any urination from occurring durring the sex act by squeezing on the urethra passing throught it, the force caused by the muscle contractions that propelle your semon out is substantial at your age, its gotta go somewhere. You may find that the next time you urinate that your urine is a bit cloudy, that is your semon that went into the bladder.

The 3rd part, probably related to the first part, conciously you are turned on, subconciously you are running the program "I am having sex, I am no good at sex, I will lose my erection early, I sux at sex, etc.." and the rest is history. This will improve when you sort out part one.

I am a Hypnotherapist and one thing people in my profession know, its the power of what we think and believe and its effects in our lives.

Good luck and good sex.

Ok i am 24 and am experiencing the same thing but my problem happens when i put the condom on. As soon as it is on i can keep going but will eventually get soft and all i want is to keep pleasuring her. It has become extremely embarrassing but she is overly polite and helpful. The worst part is after all of this i cant even cum myself and i just feel overly awkward. She is extremely sexy and I am very attracted but all this is doing now is make me worry more than before and we dont have sex without a condom. I dont know if it matters but i am overweight and a smoker and a drinker but i do work out regularly and am usually very positive. any help would be of great appreciation.

Performance anxiety is the most common cause of losing or not getting an erection. It is the result of being in your head worrying about whether or not you will get hard or stay hard. Once you start to do that you get caught in a "fear of failure" cycle which keeps reinforcing itself. How to deal with this problem is explained in simple terms in a small inexpensive book on premature ejaculation.

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Yes performance anxiety is a problem, but what happens as well is that when a man concentrates on the orgasm itself then he has already lost the battle.

1. Masturbate and get to know your body, stop and start your orgasms yourself, practice this
2. kegal exercise for men stands erect and moves your penis up and down gain control of your erection, your penis is a muscle train it!
3. Don

thanks for writing that. that really helps i thought that i may have a erectile dysfunction. what the guy asked up there was my perfect situation that happens to me. so can someone please tell me the differance between "ED" and what happened to the guy that asked the question at the top.

Hi its very usefull for me i simple turn my room light off its great many thanks

I have the same problem but i can't stay hard enough to put it in.. As soon as i put on the condom i go soft
Btw I'm 17!!

Hi I'm not sure how to explain so here it goes.  My husband is 40yrs old.  We have been married for 20 yrs.  We have never really had any problems with him keeping his erection.  Til recently.  I'm alittle concerned and not sure how to approach him.  Foreplay was fine and he had no problems during this time.  But when we were ready to have sex he was limp.  I was alittle shocked thought it may be me but im physically fit, and attractive.  Once we get into the act of sex it takes awhile to become erect again.  then the sex itself is over quickly.  Not sure what to do now.  Our sex life has become less and less due to his job. 

 

Unsure

It happens sometimes but if it happens a lot it could be an indication of circulatory problems. Sometimes it's just age related. We don't stay 20 forever.

Would there be anything in daily life that happens between you that might be turning him off? I know my wife was very good at saying things that eventually affected my performance. Not when we were first married because I was young and well charged up, but as the years went by the same things she was doing just shut me down.

For instance she spoke and acted very prudish as in when we were watching TV and someone said something "suggestive" she would leave the room saying "that show's just a waste of film" and go to bed. That was like her saying to me she feels sex is dirty, so why would I want to jump her bones when I got to bed?

As styles changed over the years it seemed as if she wanted to find out which ones turned me on ----- so she could be sure NOT to do/wear that.

A constant diet of that stuff has an effect after a while.

Guys need to be turned on more than woman. Remeber we have a c--k to control durning sex....  So you have to be loud and keep it fesh and new . I't can't be the same old laying there and him on top or the othere way around....

 

 

Ever since me and my wife have really started on trying to have a baby I have been having the problem of staying hard. I'm sexually attractied to her and all that but it seems like ever since we started try for a baby I can't stay hard but for 5minutes.

well the point is that first wen u re having sex take ur mind off the sex ,think of some thing else, 2 wen the erect wants to come out ,just  pull out ur penis and drink cold water then continue ,3  your wive or gf most smell good like spray some sweet body spray it motivate wen having sex and you too as a man ,4 if u re having sex every week it will make u last long in sex this s the  keys man

I have a new question. my problem is that when I go to sleep sometimes I do not urinate. my wife will wake me up in the middle of the noghtso that we can have sex, but I feel like I have to pee really bad . Sometimes i just fight the urge so i dont ruin the moment. my penis will get hard but it will go soft after a couple of minutes of intercourse. Its not a problem with attraction. I was wondering if this is normal? also almost every time dwe have sex my penis gets red and inflamed.we have both been checked for STDs. I don't think either one is cheating on each other ,but it happens everytime unless I get up and immediately and clean up after sex if. I sit there for an hour or longer then my penis is inflamed, red and itchy. she doesn't have an oder or anything either and quite tasty it is. Could I possibly be allergic to her? Someone please help.