I have been married to my husband for close to 16 years. We have had our ups and downs over the years...our present situation is this...he has a lot of medical problems....this affects his sexual performance. We cannot make love like we used to...I mainly have to do all the work due to his medical issues. I love my husband....but I have to admit I don't enjoy sex as much as I used to....just once I would love to experience someone taking care of me instead of me being the one doing everything. Any suggestions?
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Can he perform oral sex with you? Is that something you would like?
Have you tried a variety of positions that would enable him a bit more control?
Please try to remember, a marriage (married over 14 years myself) is much much more than sex and sexual intercourse and sometimes when a spouse becomes ill or incapacitated we must try to make due and find a way to get that intimacy back... but it may have to be in another form. I know it is a difficult situation, but you must get deeper within the marriage and the relationship. Get beyond the physical and together with communication you can reach a whole other level of intimacy.
Talk about your current feelings and allow him to express his as well.. he may be feeling the same things as you and too ashamed to admit it... then together as a team you can find the solution. Also remember to get the spark by remembering your past, when you met, dating and all of the good times.... it may bring back a spark and a new passion.
I wish you all the luck!
Have you tried a variety of positions that would enable him a bit more control?
Please try to remember, a marriage (married over 14 years myself) is much much more than sex and sexual intercourse and sometimes when a spouse becomes ill or incapacitated we must try to make due and find a way to get that intimacy back... but it may have to be in another form. I know it is a difficult situation, but you must get deeper within the marriage and the relationship. Get beyond the physical and together with communication you can reach a whole other level of intimacy.
Talk about your current feelings and allow him to express his as well.. he may be feeling the same things as you and too ashamed to admit it... then together as a team you can find the solution. Also remember to get the spark by remembering your past, when you met, dating and all of the good times.... it may bring back a spark and a new passion.
I wish you all the luck!
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Boy, can I identify with this. I feel the same way, except that it seems to be just plain lack of interest in this case. My wife is in very good health.
I'm really starting to think that it would be much better for our relationship in the long run if I could find a woman, such as yourself, who is completely satisfied with her own situation except for sex, so we can take care of each other sexually. I just need to find someone who fits that description whom I can trust to be totally discrete, and a happily married, sexually frustrated woman would have a pretty good reason to be discrete.
I'm not saying this as a recommendation. I'm just trying to say that I sympathize and wouldn't blame you if you came to a similar conclusion. If you do, however, I would like to recommend that you be very clear with any prospective partner that you are not interested in anything other than sex and you are not interested in leaving your husband.
I'm really starting to think that it would be much better for our relationship in the long run if I could find a woman, such as yourself, who is completely satisfied with her own situation except for sex, so we can take care of each other sexually. I just need to find someone who fits that description whom I can trust to be totally discrete, and a happily married, sexually frustrated woman would have a pretty good reason to be discrete.
I'm not saying this as a recommendation. I'm just trying to say that I sympathize and wouldn't blame you if you came to a similar conclusion. If you do, however, I would like to recommend that you be very clear with any prospective partner that you are not interested in anything other than sex and you are not interested in leaving your husband.
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