I'm 28 yrs old married for 7 yrs ….I have 6 yrs old baby girl ….
Today I can admit I have a major sex problem with my husband
I can say since the beginning we have obvious sexual mismatch
I have demanding busy work in the medical field …and relatively he has free afternoons, weekends…and long summer off as a teacher..
I don’t think it's totally explained by work load but it might be a contributing factor
I don’t mind waiting for a week before craving sex
And 2 days off sex is torture for him…
Yet it is not the problem …. I made it very clear for him that I'm ready to have sex when he wants but I can't promise to be excited
And he replied: if you love me enough you can fake it for me
The nights I was totally exhausted and emotionally out of sex mode he avoided me saying he doesn’t want dead body
I love my husband and I think he does as well
We have great sex occasionally …and he admits that I can give him a perfect pleasure…
A great sex from my husband point of view is wearing blond wig , blue contact lenses, full make up , striptease dance ,all sexual positions , oral sex for one or two hrs and the happy end : slapping my face with his pens and ejaculating over my eyes , inside my mouth
He never minded at all how many times I vomited after, how emotionally I was upset provided I kept a stupid fake smile over my face
…. Every now and then I find porno movies in his lap tops, DVD…..shared e mails ….etc and I caught him masturbating on that
I was blamed all those yrs because I never satisfied him
(Said so)/ Quantity wise regarding sex….recently, I discovered clearly that it is the type of sex he is concerned with
For a month I managed a great sex night on every weekend…. We were off sex for the whole week and was extremely happy (it was pure oral sex)
You can say here: where is the problem then? Go ahead!
Well ….When we have sex (vaginal), seconds before he comes, he withdraw and start touching him self and ejaculates …
It is too disgusting for me watching him doing so… knowing how much he is used to.
While having the sex he desires, I don’t feel being my self … I m exactly simulating the movies he watches…..he wants to sleep with that blond girl… one night after having big fight , he turned on a movie ,squeezed my face between his thighs doing blow job for him and he ejaculated watching sexy girls …..I feel humiliated and deeply inside my heart I started hating sex with him.
We have nice relation and happy marriage other than this …. But we reached a point I was crying explaining for him that I can't get orgasms with you any more… I hate when he ejaculates inside my mouth …hate playing porno rather than real sex with intimacy…we reached a critical point in our marriage and I was shocked when he made the balance between blow job and divorce!!!
He blames me that I can't give that tiny thing to please him
And I blame him that he can go that far hurting me without trying to get rid of his bad habits and asks me to tolerate them with happy face and further more to be initiative!!…….. And no solution
I'm 22 weeks pregnant …he slapped me today after a fight…
He doesn’t feel sorry for that… because he did it to save our marriage/ said so!…
Help me…………………………………
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IF PATRIKKS SUGGESTION DOESN'T WORK!
I see your dilemma. First you need to make it clear for him that it is not okay to slap you no matter how mad he gets at you. Second he needs to respect you. To me it sounds like you respect him and his needs. But that doesn't help you any longer. Many men and boys are caught up in the illusion of females being just like on the internet. But that is wrong! Women are all diffrent and come in many shapes and sizes. I think that it's lousy things that he does to you. Deep down inside of you you know what to do. If he hits you and doesn't care about your feelings, how long will it be before the same happens to your children? Remember : Children see, children do.
Maybe he was sweet and caring once, but now he seems like a jerk to me. Next time he gives you the choice of blowjob or divorce, pick divorce. If not for you then for your children. To me men get in the dangerous category when they are threathing or hitting.
Take care and good luck!
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When I was young (like your daughters age) my father started watching porn and similar stuff. My mom found out and was mad, and he promised he'd never do it again. 7 years later and he's done it more and it tore my family apart. My mom hates part of herself for not taking me and getting away from my father earlier because I am semi-depressed (not just because of the porn, but mainly because they would fight about it among other things.) So just decide this. Later on, when your daughter is older, will you regret not taking her away from this? Think about what is not only best for your daughter, but what is best for you. Will YOU be happy down the road knowing this is going on? None of this is your fault, but you are being punished for it. My mom loves my dad, but she realized that she just couldn't live with him anymore, so they became separated. You could try this, and see if you and your daughter are happier away from your husband of not. :) Hope I helped!
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