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Hi. I'm 29 year old female and I have some marriage problems that I would like to discuss with you.
You see, I'm already married for about 3 years now and first too years the sex was great, just as was at the time we dated but then- we almost stop having sexual intercourse at all.
I don’t know what is causing this but I know that I'm not the cause. Why is my husband so uninterested in sex?
I have used almost every approach I can think of but I'm convinced he thinks having sex once in sex months is enough when you are married.
He was never like this. When we dated before he could get enough of sex practicing it almost three times a day. What happened to him?

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First of all, you know that you are not obligated to be with this gay forever because not many women could live like you.
But if you really want to save your marriage it could be very difficult because one partner won't even acknowledge the problem.
My advice for you is next- talk with him!
Tell him having sex reconfirms how much we love each other and makes woman feel wanted and special.
I'm very sorry to say but if he is uninterested in sexually pleasing you, it could be that he's just a self-centered type or lost interest in you. This often happens to women who are being cheated by their husbands. Think about all this and do what ever you think it is best.
You could also consider some counseling and sex therapy.
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I am in the same boat. I have been married for 11 years we share a child together. When we started dating sex was more, then it lessend. Years ago when my husband would go out of town on business or pleasure he would be gone for 4 - 5 days and I'm thinking I know when he gets back and is going to be as turned on as hell. Not, he returned home got in the bed and went to sleep. Now after 11 years of marriage its worse. We may have sex once in a blue moon. Only if mention it to him. He continues to make excuses. In my mind its either one of two things he's on the downlow or he has another woman. He tells me that he masterbates in the shower to deal with not having sex. I've tried talking to him until I'm blue in the face and he continues to in my opinion to lie. When he does something wrong and I find out about it then here he comes wanting to kiss me pationatley and I can feel him getting excited. At that point I want nothing to do with him. Here recently he like oral sex better than actual penetration. Its a very difficult thing to deal with. I keep myself fit and I have a nice body and still look great at 46. Can't go anywhere without other men trying to make a pass at me, but the man at home seems to care less. Any information on this topic that can help me understand what is going on is welcomed.
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I'm so sorry to hear about what you ladies are going through....I can relate. The sexlife that my bf and I share is so frustrating right now (and has been for most of our relationship) that I'm reading this and absolutely terrified of it becoming as bad as you all are describing. Why do they not understand how important it is for women to feel attractive and sexually desired? I know that my bf loves me very much, but he seems completely uninterested in sex with me, and even on the occasions that he seems to be open to it, it doesn't seem like he ever REALLY, REALLY wants it. I don't know that I can even bring myself to initiate it anymore because the rare times I have, it's been a crapshoot as to whether or not he's interested or feels like it.

I can't for the life of me figure out why anyone would want to be in a relationship with someone if they feel no strong sexual desire for that person. I understand that people have different libidos, but it still seems has though his is either ridiculously low, or maybe he's taking care of himself so much that there doesn't seem to be anything leftover for me.

Anyone experienced this that's been able to work through it? I love him so much and don't want our relationship to end, but I honestly can't imagine spending the rest of my life feeling the way that I do now. It's absolutely heartbreaking. I miss being wanted....and not just ever...but on a fairly regular basis.

To the ladies that have already posted:

Have you tried discussing this with them? If so, have you informed them that it could end the relationship if things don't change?
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hey to the 3 of you i guess, am male and when am with someone at first the sex is great but then after time the other half start asking for it all the time then i start not to enjoy it, and am having the problem now i love my parther but they always want sex and they want it that much it puts me off a little till the stage of it makes more hassle atm i just cant be bothered having sex that often and would rather do it my self.

for me not to sure about ur fellas but morning is the only time i like having sex as at night am to nackered and just want to sleep

(thats if you have time in the mornings)
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Well, I'm a guy and I'm in the same boat as you ladies are in. Our sex life in the begining was great. When we first met she didnt like sex. Well, after being with me she started to love sex again. We have been together for almost 5 years and married for 4 years. I love my wife deeply.

I know her job has her stressed out. For the past 2 years she has been taking some classes and studying to pass and get certified for her job. Also she is not happy with her body. I tell her all the time how great she looks how sexy she is and still NO SEX. Its frustrating. It seems to me my only sexual release is the internet. I miss being with her. I have tried things to get her in the mood and I get shut down.

I dont really need to have sex every day of the week but it would be nice to have it at least once a week. Its been awhile since we have had sex. So I dont know what to do. I dont want to cheat on her and I dont want a divorse. I want her and her only.
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Am in the same boat, but a guy. Married 17 years, 47 years old and i consider myself sexually starved because my wife is not an interested in sex as much as i am. I have complained till am blue in the face, now i have accepted my fate and just takes what she can give as i refuse to cheat. Before we had kids, she did it more, but once the kids came along, that was it. Twice or three times a month if am lucky, and if i don't initiate, forget it, nothing will happen. I have heard all the excuses, some real as with comes with age, hormones etc, some just plain selfish and not been considerate that you have a spouse and sex is part of intimacy and marriage. I have resorted to masturbating in the shower or anywhere i have privacy more or less daily. I am still turned on as if i were in my twenties, so i have no other choice but to masturbate. She will not even let me eat her out anymore, and she hardly ever gives me oral anymore. I have not done oral on her in over 3 years, i get oral maybe once every six months.. Its been unexciting, she wont try new things, its one way, her way when she feels like it which is not very often. It has been a very challenging and frustrating last 4 or 5 years. As the years go by, so does the sexual activity decrease. But i have to just adjust as i don't want just sex to be the downfall of our marriage and family. Actually i refuse to let it. I love her so i just have to deal with it, but its very hard. I think it is really selfish not to care about your spouse's sexual needs. I am a good husband and i try my best. She is not very sexual, but i think for the other partners sake, she should at least try and make more effort. So, i am just doomed to the life of masturbation. Its funny to see how many wive's need a turned on husband, and here i am, i need a turned on wife.
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