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We have been married for quite a while, but my wife still does not want to have kids. I on the other hand consider having kids as the most important thing in a marriage.

Her reasons are :-
a) she does not want to go through 9 mths of pregnancy
b) she says that having kids will take up too much of our time

1. How can I convince her to have kids ?
2. What should I do if she insist on not having kids ?

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DID you not discuss this BEFORE you were married?

My husband and I never want children, marriage is NOT only for children, and your wife obviously knows and feels this to be a fact.

YOU cannot make her have kids. You can find another wife that dies want children though.

YOU should have thought about this before marriage, you cannot assume that every womans wants to breed.
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Actually, we did talk about it before marriage and she agreed to have kids but somehow she has now changed her minds.
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It's her choice and kids aren't the reason of marriage.
For you to make her have kids or even ask online how you can, is deceptive and she is allowed to change her mind.

She doesn't owe you anything.

 ***this post is edited by moderator *** *** inappropriate posting*** Please read our Terms of Use

He body, her choice, he ovaries - you make her sound like a incubator just to do what you want.

kids do take up time and mostly will take up her time.
Whats next she gives up her job and you'll be online asking round how you can force her to do that.

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I dont think you are being very helpfuly. YES it is her body, YES it is her that is likley to need to invest more time in a child. BUT having a child is a joint effort.

This chap is feeling desperate and was seeking help; you did nothing to help that.

I suggest YOU get over YOURSELF and THINK before you rant at someone who is obviously having major issues on a subject he though was sorted. Just saying "find a wife who wants children" is naive as it not the bloody simple!
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Yeah, this is kinda silly, If someone is looking for help you should try and help not tell him that he is a jerk...
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Isn't the answer obvious? You want kids, she doesn't want to go through pregnancy and babies take lots of time.

Adopt. Adopt an older kid, something like 6+ years old that doesn't require constant every minute attention.

You get your kids, she skips the pregnancy and the time sink is minimized.
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have you sat down and talked more about it? i had a aquaintance at work who was experiencing the same issue but the wife didnt want children because she wouldnt be the baby anymore, which i found to be the most insane excuse ever since we are all late 20's to early 30's in age. after talking through it though they did decide on a divorce because she was very insensitive to his needs. could this be a attention issue she might have? women need reassurance that you arent going to just throw it all on them. take her to look at baby clothes and talk about it, talking doesnt hurt, it doesnt last nine months, and maybe you will really find out why she has changed her mind. my husband and i have been together 10 years and have a 8 year old with a baby on the way. im quite moody and achy but he makes sure that i am reassured and that i'm contented, pregnancy is suposed to be a couple taking care of each other and nuturing their unborn child. i think its wonderful that you want children not enough men really want to be dads!
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I dont accpt with u.because in marrige both could have some minimum expectation. shall we ask partner whether she would participate in sex ? No. if she dont like to have children ,then she could have informed before marriage.
else ***edited by moderator*** ** inappropriate posting** and leave her , and marry whom you like and live your life.but this time dont forget to know about your partner views about children
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Hi Friends,
I am also in the same shoes, looking for help to tackle the situation.
We had an affair of 6 years and 5 years of marriage thereafter.
My wife was ready for child but after 3 years of marriage. Now its 5 years when I ask her she always refused. When I ask her for any specific reason she keeps mum.
I am helpless. Now just dragging this relationship and waiting for miracle from her to say yes for baby.
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Married 12 years. Seven years ago, I gave my wife an utimatum that if she did not want to have a child, that I would stay in the relationship as long as possible, but that I must have a child. She gave me the child out of fear of lossing me. Two weeks ago, she told me she loves me, but is not in love with me. (She actually does not like it said like that, and wants to say there are different levels of love, but I had her read the article for what she was saying, and it compares). What does not help is that I have fallen more in love with her over the years and it hurts. Where are we going with this. I thought having a child would be mostly my responsibility, but that is not possible. so she shoulders the responsibility also. She did not want that. Her mother walked out on her when she was 8 and becuase of it, she had to take care of two younger sisters while growing up. The father expected a lot from her. I missed alot of this before getting married. We married in the church so it was brought up once before marriage and she changed her mind.

So There are a lot of issues, and one of them is that she cannot forgive me for ruining her life. I asked to go to a counsler and she refuses. so we ordered several books. but she needs to "find" herself and she is scared that when she does, it does not include me.

She loves our child with all her heart, but cannot see past my conditional love. I have tried to give her everything, but failed misserablely. One note is I made a city girl move out into the country. Not a good thing in my case. so bad choices on top of the child makes a divorce look like a reality. But I am going to go out kicking and screaming. I want it to work, but I do not think she does. oh yeah she lost wieght and other guys are showing attention. I am so dumed to being a divorced person.

I have sowen my seeds now I have to deal with it.
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I find it incredible that the man is always the bad one.  Somehow the guy that demands to have kids is a jerk,  the man that managed to convince her has ruined her life and so on.  What about the men??  Is it not possible that not having children will make the man completely miserable and ruin his life.  Especially in the cases where it was discussed and she changed her mind. Just because she has the ovaries she has the only opinion that matters in this case??
I believe selfish is defined as motivated by ones own benefit over others.  So who is selfish the man that wants to dedicate himself to raising a family or the woman who has better things to do?
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wow these pepole are ignorant. im in the same boat.
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just ignore your wife and dont ask her for doing sex if she says u neglect and if she ask why u tell that if u dont want children i wont need u
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Has my wife still so casually "changed her mind" when after 6 years of marriage I am still praying she wants to have children? "My  body, my ovaries...." I am 110% in favor of women taking charge and being strong...hell, just meet my wife. That is NOT an excuse to drag someone else through the mud while "you" decide what YOU want. My stance since day one has been to make this a joint effort and a joint cause. 

 

I'll go out on a limb and say that when women use reproduction as a bargaining chip and as a sole-effort affair, you do more to harm your cause than help it. 

 

There are a lot of shitty dads out there; there are a lot of shitty moms, but children are a joint effort between two people. "My body, my decision"...That's a BS response once you have used your reproductive capacity to catch a man. Simply changing your mind is not a good enough reason. If you don't want kids, stop treating your body like a subway platform...get off your back and be the "in-charge" woman you want to be. 

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