At the end of April, in a moment of stupidity, I went home with a guy whom I met in a bar. When I woke up the next morning my memory of the night before was hazy at best and, of course, my primary concern was whether or not we'd had sex (it would have been my first time). He told me we didn't (though, because he could see I was distressed, he may just have said this to avoid getting in trouble). In fact, when I met him in the same bar a month later he told me again, when I asked him, that we hadn't-though he'd made advances towards that. My friends assure me that if we had had sex that I'd have felt it, but my hymen may have been broken before that-would I still feel different even if that was the case?
Since then, the fear of an unwanted pregnancy has taken over my life. Even if we didn't have sex, there's still the possibility, right? I don't ever remember my panties being removed but if he weren't wearing pants then may semen have fused through? I've taken four pregnancy tests (two expensive ones, followed by two cheap ones, the last of which was 7 weeks after it happened), all of which were negative. I had what I think was a period a month to the day after that night which was unusually painful, and then another over a month later (my periods have always been irregular). There's been nothing since but even if I do get another period I know it won't be enough to convince me-I've read online about women who got periods and negative test results up to six months into their pregnancy.
Where symptoms are concerned, I have-since it happened-felt wet down there most of the time. I've experienced pelvic pain that comes and goes, as well as stomach pain and even stomach flutters-what feels like a baby kicking (though, apparently, I wouldn't be able to feel it this early). Now my stomach, for the past week or so, has begun to look bloated and it's terrifying. I've always been slim and, while I know there are other possible reasons for it, I cannot help but feel as though it's possible. I've examined the possibility of a pseudo pregnancy or a 'fake' pregnancy, which can apparently on account of a deep rooted fear of being pregnant and carries some and, in some cases, all of the symptoms.
Please help. I'm moving abroad for university in a month's time and this has been overshadowing my life since that night. I can't talk to my mother, for obvious reasons, and my friends don't seem to understand how genuinely afraid I am. What do you all think?
No messers/judgemental answer, please. :'(
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