My beau who I adore.. can't maintain an erection, or if he keeps his erection, he cums early.. its like one or the other.
I thought that time would fix this between us, because he hadn't had a consistent sex life in years prior to us getting together... but now we're six months in to sleeping with one another, and it hasn't gotten better. He says it's been like that with everyone he's been with. It's becoming disconcerting. It makes me feel un-sexy, even though he tells me all the time I'm very attractive to him. And he gets frustrated, and angry at himself, even when I try to reassure him, and be patient, and re-stimulate him...but once he's thinking about maintaining the erection, then it's like impossible for him to keep it up. It just ruins the mood.
I have asked before if he thinks about it first, and then he goes flaccid, and it isn't always that way.. he doesn't necessarily think about it until he goes flaccid, but once it's on his mind, it's kind of game over.
I've asked if he isn't attracted to me, a couple of times, and he claims I'm the "most beautiful" woman he's been with, and that he *is very* attracted to me.
I'm really hoping there is some kind of solution.
Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read it.
I thought that time would fix this between us, because he hadn't had a consistent sex life in years prior to us getting together... but now we're six months in to sleeping with one another, and it hasn't gotten better. He says it's been like that with everyone he's been with. It's becoming disconcerting. It makes me feel un-sexy, even though he tells me all the time I'm very attractive to him. And he gets frustrated, and angry at himself, even when I try to reassure him, and be patient, and re-stimulate him...but once he's thinking about maintaining the erection, then it's like impossible for him to keep it up. It just ruins the mood.
I have asked before if he thinks about it first, and then he goes flaccid, and it isn't always that way.. he doesn't necessarily think about it until he goes flaccid, but once it's on his mind, it's kind of game over.
I've asked if he isn't attracted to me, a couple of times, and he claims I'm the "most beautiful" woman he's been with, and that he *is very* attracted to me.
I'm really hoping there is some kind of solution.
Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read it.
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i wouldn't doubt his attraction to you, i also advise not to question him in that manner as it may add to the stress that is causing this. understandably this is very frustrating. it sounds like your boyfriend is suffering from a classic case of performance anxiety, pretty much all men have some sort of problem with erections at some point. often it is psychological. i think the key here is to try and work on his confidence and him ignoring the whole performance factor. try and take things at a pace where sex can be drawn out for longer, i.e. have him state when he is feeling close to orgasm and slow down or stop entirely. does he have any erection problems when he masturbates? when he masturbates he should try to prolong orgasm as many men "train" themselves to be premature ejaculators by frequently masturbating to ejaculate as quickly as possible.
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This sounds like it's defnitely a stress related erection issues. To be honest, I think a good solution to your problem and a quick way to solve that problem is to use a penis ring, if you've ever heard of it. It's a leather strap that cinches around the testicles and erection, keeping blood in the penis and maintaining the erection. Once he has an erection, he can do that and he will stay hard virtually no matter what. Do you think that's something you might want to try?
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to oz:I don't know if he has the same issues during masturbation, but it would make sense to me, that you can train yourself to cum too soon.
to healthnfitnessguy: I definitely think it's worth trying.
to healthnfitnessguy: I definitely think it's worth trying.
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Thanks for your input on that! I hope that it does work. Just be sure not to use a metal or plastic one--just use the ones with a strap and a snap in place. That's because you don't want to cinch it too tight obviously, as it can cause a burst vein. I'd like to hear how it goes for you!
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Premature ejaculation and sexual dysfunction are generally due to psychological issues. However psychological issues would be appropriate after physical examination. Many primary disorders or illnesses can cause either as a secondary disorder. Prostatitis, urethritis and neurologically disorders can be rare primary causitive factors. If he is that concerned about it, he will seek assistance from a professional.
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