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Hi all,

I basically need some advice about my husband. We've been together a year. He comes from a very different culture where sex is sort of frowned upon. When we first started having sex, he was able to get hard but not have an orgasm. I understood completely -- I have my own issues, too (I was sexually abused). We finally got to the point where he was having orgasms through oral sex but not intercourse. Then, when we moved in, he was able to have orgasms through intercourse. However, it's not every time.... he often goes soft inside of me... and he says he can only stay erect when I'm on top of him because he's so used to masturbating in that position.

I feel like there have been times when we're having sex that he can see I'm disappointed -- but I'm not upset with him, I feel like it's my fault -- and I'm mad at myself. So now, it's to the point where I think he expects me to be disappointed, and now every time we try he doesn't get hard. To make matters worse, we're both young - 24 years old -- and I want to have sex daily, but ... even before the issues started, he didn't make any moves on me, and this frustrated and upset me. He would often tell me before we moved in that he would masturbate like 3 or 4 times a day. And now, we go a week without having sex.

I feel so badly about this. I love him. I didn't mean to make him doubt himself. What can I do to be more supportive?

I tend to be gullible, and I'm worried that perhaps he's gay or deep down doesn't love me and it's psychologically affecting him.

He gets a lot of comments from his male friends about my attractiveness -- I honestly just want us to be happy, free, and loving together, and I'm at the point where I might give up having sex because... I love him.

Thanks for reading.
A wife.

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I've had the same problem. Part of it was due to my girlfriend not washing enough (smell was a turn off). Stress can do it as well. Make sure you are fresh and always act sexy and give him a lot of attention...he will in return. Guys like attention too, so don't neglect.

He could just have erectile disfunction problems. It happens. Having to urinate will cause me to go limp or not get off. Once I go pee, I'm good to go.
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My goodness! It's not the end of the world. This is a normal phenomenon with men called Erectile Dysfunction and is caused by a number of things from fatigue, stress to andropause (male menopause) and chronic urological problems. It won't matter what you do it really won't help. What he needs is a basic sex pill, and don't try Viagra, Cialis, Levitra and the like because they all are synthetically produced chemicals. Use a Herbal Capsule like Stallion, Lion Erect, Maxman Ultimate, Enduromax or Maxman RX, because the herbal ones mentioned won't cause any horrendous side effects. He just needs to take a single capsule with warm water around 45 minutes before bedtime and then when you arouse him...Boy! You will really arouse him. Get ready for hours, and I mean hours of fun...A Cat Couldn't Scratch It. Websites are:
Have Fun!

Marlow
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all the herbal capsules you mention work. do they work , which is the best
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Maybe get a feww outfits strip pinch your nippples suck him stip tease turned on potiotns chains anything that turns you on good maybe buy some chains some viagra or sex toys and this helps a lot
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Let me just attest to how UNHELPFUL all of this male advice is! My husband has struggled with ED since he was 17..... No joke. We've been together almost 9 years, married, kids, the whole bit and he still has a hard time getting and maintaining an erection at times. The problem is not with me nor does your husbands ED have anything to do with you! I used to model, and even after 2 pregnancies I work in the fitness industry so I've had to maintain my figure and I honestly think I look even better now than I did when I modeled. I tried everything from buying tons of lingerie and costumes (my hubby actually doesn't care for lingerie if you can believe that! He prefers costumes...), to going to sex shops together and picking out toys, to watching pornos together. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. In fact I found that if I got really dolled up, saved downstairs completely, lit candles, ect, he was even MORE likely to not be able to get it up! This was because he felt pressure to perform. You see the real problem is my husband suffers from chronic depression and anxiety. And no amount of sex appeal or foreplay will help if he feels depressed and/or anxious. I suspect this may be the case with your husband as well. Or it could be psychological damage from his parents/culture having an unhealthy attitude towards sex. I would seek the help of a psychiatrist as well as a therapist. Being a young guy, like my husband, it's most likely not a health or hormone issue preventing him from performing.... It's psychological. 

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Where can I get these herbal capsules that you suggest? Most importantly, did any of them work? Please respond. VERY FRUSTRATED!

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Enduromax is the best. 

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Hi I'm 52 I can't get hard I love my wife but I can't do it after 30 yrs I want her but I can't do what I was able to do it's tough for us guys too best of luck
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i have same problem, but I use viagra and it's fine. Yes, I do have some side effects: headache, dizziness but it's well worth it.
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You both need to see other people. I had a Wife for 13 years push me away after the kid was born then everytime she pit out it was a quickie . I lost desire for her lack of effort , We just had a 5 minute session and i pulled away after the 3rd effort of dead penis . Im bore and tired of her so its time for me to cheat ! She can still be my wife only bc of my 5 yr old daughter , but I am f*****g through with her Lazy Worthless Effort! I wanted to have a decwnt sex life she Robbed me of My Best years ! f**k it She is old news . Im taking business to another p***y. Thats what Men Do ! Tou obviously dont cut the Mustard .

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Health Guru
9737 posts
If that is your attitude towards your wife when she is struggling to deal with the lack of sex drive after a baby then I hope you get every sti/std possible just for your selfishness and lack of understanding to what she is going through!!
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I agree....I'm just coming upto 23yrs of married life...everything was sailing along until i took on a university course which spanned 3 years...during this time...he paid attention to a close friend, so he called her, ....i noticed his closeness to his mobile phone....And it all came out....he admitted it, we tried to carry on but one thing was missing!...his libido was much less than before....Now we are into 6 years later and 6 years without still any sex or physical activity....and I feel very much that there is no longer any marriage....I have still cared for him,but more recently come to resent him!...he is 11 years my senior...I am 54yrs old and not that bad for my age...So I am not putting up with this situ for much longer!!!!!!

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Your a worthless piece of sh*t that don't deserve no body. Some women go through issues too dirt bag. The best thing you could do for her is leave her.
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Cant get hard help what used
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