Hi, I'm a 16 year old girl virgin and always craving sex. It always crosses my mind, but I wish to remain a virgin until marriage. I feel really bad about myself, like I'm an outcast because half my age either has lost their virginity or has no desire for it at all. Please help.
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Btw, I said the bathroom because nobody is going to bother you there, but you can masturbate almost everywhere were there is no people.
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If you orgasm your lust for sex will go away for a time. It will help significantly with your problem
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Firstly I am impressed with your discipline and devotion to the cause. However I think the cause is false. The very concept of marriage was introduced by conservative Christians as a way to legitimize sexual activity between adults. It implied rules over who could get married (no gays of course), and it granted possesive powers to the husband who coule effectively rape his wife without fear of punishment or even criticism. Should you really choose to abstain in support of a tradition that kept these rules going until very recently? I believe the intention to abstain is honorable, but unnecessary and doesn't enhance a union between two people.
In your search to find the 'one true love' if they really exist, you first have to understand yourself, and know who you are. Sexuality if probably the largest contributing factor to our personality and underpins the very way we conduct ourselves in our every day lives. You only have to witness an event like gay pride to fully understand the vital part sexuality plays in our very existence and why suppressing/ignoring is very damaging.
The first thing you need to know is this: Losing your virginity is overated. It's awkward for everyone involved, it's rarely pleasurable or special. I had girlfriends suffer a relationship breakup soon after having sex for the first time. The most convenient answer for this was that the boy had his fun after swearing his love, and soon lost interest. While this is certainly true in some cases it's highly likely that the first time had been built up so much and failed to live up to the expectations, quite dramatically. It is easy to come away from that and conclude that the two of you are not sexually compatible and to therefore move on. Nobody starts out as a sexual expert. This takes years of discovery and ultimately gets better the more you know your body and with good sexual compatibility. I cannot state how important sexuality is and how complex it is either. How can two people really know each other if they've never been sexually intimate? The cost of this can be an unhappy marraige filled with fighting, affairs, divorce, child custody battles etc etc. I've seen this happen, and despite not being a virgin when I met my wife, I thought that my love for her was enough and that I shouldn't let our unfulfilling sex life be a deciding factor. I am now separated.
Marraige is only as sacred as it lasts, and you have to make the best informed decision before committing, otherwise you're letting each other down. A couple who know each other so well (both physically and mentally) are far more likely to survive and have a happy marraige.
As for losing your virginity, don't be pressured into it by anyone. Friends who talk about doing it at that age usually haven't. Don't expect fireworks, because you won't get them. It will feel weird, possibly painfull, confusing perhaps, and will be over before it's begun. It's not like in the movies! And don't for god's sake let religion tell you when you should have sex, who you should love/hate/kill, what you should eat/drink, and what to wear. It's meant to teach you who to treat each other and be happy.
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