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I have been married for almost 14 years and have two children. (11 & 9) My marriage for the most part has been alright. He is a good person, a good father and tries to work hard for his family. The problem is he has no time for me. I feel like I am just there to be a good mom,take care of the kids, take care of the house and take care of him. I also work full time. Over the past 5 years we have had the same talk over and over again about our issues. I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride (emotionally). My arguement to him is that he spends more time with his friends and his hobbies than he does with me. I can't remember the last time I have received a compliment. I am always giving him compliments, or saying thank you for something he does for me when I ask. I guess what I really feel is that he has fallen out of love with me. I do think he loves me as a person and the mother of his children but the romance and passion are completely lost. When I do talk to him about this he gets angry and says "what do you need me to do? How many times per week do you need me to do this?, etc.." Why is it that I have tell him like some stupid list of instructions? To me that is not romantic at all because he doesn't think of anything himself. Oh, and when I do give him some ideas of what would be nice, they never happen. (Maybe once?) So to sum it all up... I have been communicating as much as possible to save my marriage, I have talked to a marraige counselour, I have changed the things my husband asked me to (such as not giving him a hard time about him leaving to go play and have fun with his hobbies) but in return I have seen him try for a week and then it's back to the same old routine. I'm tired of trying all that I can and frustrated that I'm the only one who cares and can see how serious this is becoming an issue. I feel unloved, like I can't do anything right or that I am annoying to him. Then I ask him why do you want to be with me? He says because I love you. My response is "I wouldn't know that". It has been a week since our last talk and I told him I am tired of talking about the same thing. He said lets move forward and my response was "forward to what"? It's like the boy who cried wolf. You promise to try to be better but you never follow through and I'm still feeling unhappy and unloved in this relationship. Any advice?

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It sounds to me like you both have different concepts of what it means to express your emotions. The test here is to see a marriage counselor together, not separately. If he refuses, or if he doesn't think that you should, then it means he doesn't want to work on the relationship, and that might help you with your answer a little better. I wish you the best of luck.
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You have been married for 14 years, the dust has settled. He has gotten used to it and has allowed himself to "do his thing". It seems like he has forgotten what brought him to this 14 year union.
Leaving the marraige would be the last resort and you can't walk out of it without telling him why. The worse thing to do is to make a getaway while he is at work or out for the evening.
You must tell him what's going on with you and you must also tell him that you have been seriously thinking about leaving the marraige.
Don't whine to him that he doesn't pay you compliments, don't complain that he does nothing with you socially, the problem does not begin there.
Hubby has "settled" if you will, and he knows that you will be home when he gets out of work, the house will be tidy and the kids in line. A tidy home and good kids does not a marraige make.
You have to be firm and straight now. You both could use some counseling together. Ask him to please set his play time aside for a minute and accompany you to a therapist. Tell him why he needs to go with you. Ask him just how important is this marraige is to him. Maybe he needs a bit of an ultimatum.
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