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i am a virgin!!! but my BF do not believe me that i am virgin because he thinks i had sex with some one else...i know i broke his heart because of had allot affairs but it doesn't mean that i am not a virgin now i am totally committed with him and i want to marry him as well...i am confuse that my friends and relative told me that is not necessary to bleed in first sex????? is iit true??..what are the causes of tearing hymen naturally???...i play sport do house work as well as exercise with wights for keeping myself fit and fine and do allot of walk...will it break my hymen???...would i call myself a virgin if i dint bleed in my 1 sex????...my friend told me that she puts her 1 finger in her vagina and she dint bleed that time is the hymen broke because of putting her finger in vagina why dint she bleed that time???...if hymen is broken is it necessary to bleed or not??...would u tell me that how yo check myself if i am a virgin??? do tell me!!!

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Hi Maryam! I am SO confused! IF you had sex you are NOT a virgin! IF you did NOT have penetrative sex - penis in the vagina - then you ARE a virgin! Some people also state that Oral sex is also saying you lost your virginity! BUT the classification is penile/vaginal contact! So what do you mean that you had a lot of affairs? And I'm confused with you saying 

In what way did you have affairs? And you can't be a virgin again if you have had sex! IF you have NOT had seex EVER! just because your hymen is there or not doesn't mean what it used to! You can loose your hymen using a tampon, sometimes rough masturbation, I have heard of it tearing on a bike! And sometimes the mans penis isn't big enough - in width - to break the hymen! Some women bleed and bleed a LOT and other don't ever bleed! Thus THOUSANDS of women being killed throughout the centuries for not bleeding on their wedding night! Which had more to do with her anatomy and the husbands width of his penis! IF he doesn't believe you there is NOTHING you can do to change his mind!

So my question to you is this! "Did you or have you EVER had penis in vagina sex, even for a couple of seconds? IF no man/boy put their penis inside you, then your word is your word and he has to either love you and believe you, or he will NEVER be comfortable! and also sometimes people act a certain way with others, because they feel ashamed at what THEY did! So obviously he is NOT a virgin!
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Like Bambi, I am also confused.

If a someone has penetrated your vagina with a penis, you are no longer a virgin.

Some women are not born with hymens. Not all women bleed during their first sex. Blood can be a side effect just like the pain. Some women break their hymens earlier in life playing sports, horse back riding or other activities where your get knocked around.

I am going to back to, if you have had sex, you are no longer a virgin.
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I think that now I am confused more than I was before. I was sure that if you don't bleed, your hymen is not broken and you are still a virgin, doesn't matter did someone penetrated your vagina or not. Now I am confused...and scared as well because I want to be a virgin. OK, I am 16 years old and we were at some party with our school. I was hooked up with this guy that I liked and we tried to have a sex. I remember that I was in pain, he was drunk so we quit. He fingered me a little bit later.  And so far I was sure that I am still a virgin. Am I? Help me, please...Can the hymen be broken by finger?

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no no no!!!! i dint have sex with anybody or do tampons and stuff!!!! shsh!!!....i am a virgin!!!
m just asking how to check myself that i am a virgin???? i want to know the procedure of it... i heard there is a procedure or way of
checking virgin???....my friend of mine asked me that she put her finger on her vagina but she dint bleed what does it mean is the hymen broken or not??....my BF is kind of ancient mind people he believes that if girl dint bleed on wedding night they suggest and believe that the girl is not  virgin he will kill me for sure he doesn't believe me at all!!!...if in case i dint bleed my life will be ruin FOREVER...what should i do to make him believe that i am virgin????...plzzz do reply my questions i am sssoooo afraid and confused as well...i dont know what to do?? :'(
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Honey! You ARE a virgin! Being a virgin means that you NEVER had a penis inside your vagina! IF you mess around with your hymen it might break and then you will have some answering to do! IF you fear for you life - and your boyfriend is SO insecure that he is calling you a "LIAR" this is a TERRIBLE SCARY VIOLENT relationship you are getting into! He is obviously VERY insecure, and puts that on you! And to think he might kill you IF you don't bleed is RIDICULOUS! To be married means you trust each other, you DON'T abuse one another, you don't FRIGHTEN the other, you don't INTIMIDATE one another, you are just happy to be together! I have a feeling that he is NOT a virgin, and has probably not broken any womans hymen - thus him mentioning about your "virginity" IF you press down on the hymen it could break! IF you have never used tampons, you should be fine - breaking the hymen can happen right away, days later, it can be partially torn, or it NEVER tears! It ALL depends on lubrication, the girth of the man's penis - IF he is small, it WONT break the hymen!

This is NOT about YOU being a virgin honey! It is about how frightened you are of him! I would NOT go further with this relationship! He WILL rule you and you will be a mess thinking if you have bled or not! And IF you don't he WILL make your life VERY tough! It is 2011 not 1800's and it's time for him to get into the year! NO woman - in this day and age - should have to take abuse! There are THOUSANDS of women ALL over the world in every country, every religion, every culture that has stayed with a JEALOUS, VIOLENT,  ABUSIVE - in EVERY way, man and some have NOT lived to regret it! And once you are in such a horrible relationship it takes a LOT too leave! He WILL be jealous, he will watch you EVERY second! And he WILL blame you for any problems! And IF you don't bleed - which would be HIS problem, I guarantee he WILL call you horrible names! You need to look at him and say "Is this REAL love - of caring, and honoring, or is it that I am AFRAID of him?" NO Man/Woman who is a threatening person, changes after marriage! They do NOT get better, they just have more control! You will have NO money, NO friends, NO family, and he WILL austrasize you from everyone, so you are answering to him! I PROMISE you this! I want you to hold off the wedding, and tell him that you ARE a virgin and IF he doesn't believe you then that's HIS problem, and you don't want to be with a man that does NOT trust you! Also a doctor can tell him you are a virgin! It's a disgraceful thing to have to go through and IF you have children with him - which he will insist on right away! Then you are even more a prisoner of him!

Once again you ARE A VIRGIN! NO Test needed! You ARE - don't mess with ANYTHING or put your finger in NOTHING! And REALLY look at this relationship and REALLY HEAR what I have said! IF you look on Steady Health - there are TONNES of women who are Raped, Abused, Threatened by their husbands and they are STUCK and can't move - some are stuck for over 20 years etc. So I wish you good luck and to stand up to him!
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thank you!!! i feel much better now :)
but the thing is he wants me to check my hymen to the doctor for his relief and make him 
believe that i am a virgin...just once and last question!!!! m annoying allot ryte :s 
is it necessary to bleed if hymen is broken???...i still want to know the procedure how to check virgin?? my friend wants to know and mee too!!!
how should i check my BF that he is a virgin??? he never lies to me and he never hides he dint have any sex with anybody am the only girl he ever touched :)....i dont know is it true or not....:s
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I will just explain to you the makeup of the hymen to this is your vagina -/ and that little line in between is your hymen! It is a fine piece of skin that connects one side of your vagina to the other - it is VERY thing and fragile! And it is at the base of your vaginal opening! Do NOT stretch it or poke at it etc. The ONLY way YOU can tell is to take a mirror and a flash light and shine on the opening and you should see a flesh colored little piece of skin at the bottom! Also you MIGHT have torn in - without knowing - at there MIGHT be a little piece of skin on the sides, OR none at all! There are SO many factors with the hymen as it is SO fragile! So IF it's not there it is NOT your fault and you have to know that you ARE a virgin and he's just got to get used to it or you guys break up!

For him to know SO much about your hymen I find quite distasteful actually! I REALLY do think that he knows a LOT about womens hymens and feels insecure about his own "manhood"! With a man it is VERY hard to tell - other than believing him that is! On a man's penis - underneath the foreskin a man has a piece of skin called the "Frenulum" most of the time this skin tears because of masturbation BUT sometimes it stays in place till the actual act of intercourse tears it! BUT as masturbation is usually a daily event, it is VERY VERY VERY rare that a mans frenulum is still attached!

What bothers me is the fact that he is NOT believing you and needs a piece of paper from a doctor - after he checks your hymen - to prove to him that you are indeed "pure"! Do you know there have been cases of men still abusing their wives or killing them saying that the doctor LIED and that their wives must have slept with the doctor for him to say she was a virgin! OR if a woman has tested them, they say that the woman was too friendly! It is ARCHAIC and DISGRACEFUL that this practice is STILL going on - just like Female circumcision! Women die because their husbands penis girth is TOO SMALL! They know it and to save face they would rather tell everyone that their wives slept around! And I DON'T want you to be another statistic!

He is NOT! I repeat NOT believing you, and wants you to be embarrassed with a doctor for them to tell him!  What's going to happen IF you HAVE torn your hymen in the past? He's NEVER going to believe you after that! He will spread that SO fast that you will be austrasized by your family! I feel that you aren't listening to me and you see just getting married! This IS a HUGE deal honey! It is SCARY and ANCIENT and you WILL be the looser here! And IF your hymen has broken in the past, then he wont listen to reason and it will be SO bad for you honey! NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK about how much he loves you and it will be different after you get married - it WONT! It is NEVER better after the wedding honey, they just know that you are NOT going anywhere and you took it once and WILL take it again!

Men who are abusive - in ANY way - ALL say the same thing "That after the 1st time their wives, girlfriends took the abuse, they lost ALL respect for them and they knew they weren't going to leave and that they could do WHATEVER they wanted to them!" Do you want this for the rest of your life? Do you want him to call you a liar and NOT believe your word - as you believe his!? As soon as you have a ring on your finger you WILL be under him honey! THAT I PROMISE! I wish you would read this to your friend and see what she says about this too! Start researching about the women that have been murdered by their husbands or families even for "Honor Killings" Look this up and see what happened from DAY 1! I AM worried about you and your future honey!
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i know what you are trying to say i know you are helping me allot!!!! but i can help it anymore i really love him more than anything else in this world and i cant live without him anymore and i know there allot people for me to make me happy but my happiness is with him!!! if he leaves me am not gonna adjust with anybody else but him!!! i want to make him believe that i am PURE VIRGIN if it cause my reputation to check my hymen to the doctor at least he will believe at the doctor and i am sure that he will get his clear mind for misunderstanding me...i trust him allot more than my self!!!
thanx for all the help you have given me thanks allot!!!
my good friend want to ask you something that she had sex with his bf on hip for the first time and she bleed on her hip hole a little bit???
what does it mean why did she bleed dat time??? his bf was wild with her???
she told me that he was going slow but suddenly he gave pressure...whaat does it mean?????  
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On the Hip?!!!! I don't understand! If you meant to say that she had vaginal sex, then this is what happens when you loose your virginity! There CAN be bleeding and pain and that is why it was uncomfortable!

Regarding you not living without him - you have made it this far! And I want you to have a honest conversation with him about how he is hurting you about not believing you! He HAS to know that this is hard on you! And you didn't answer the question! WHAT is going to happen IF you have broken your hymen in the past? What's going to happen with the doctor telling him that your hymen is broken? I am WORRIED about this!

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umm...i have nothing to say about my hymen i really do not know what the doctor gonna say about it...
if my hymen is broken the doctor will explain the causes of tearing hymen to him!!! if he dint believe my life will be ruin
and m gonna live alone for the rest of my life...but i think my bf is not such a bad guy he will understand if he loves me if he dint 
and dint care about me then he wasn't meant for me at all...i should put my love to test am having examinations right now after exams he gonna take 
me to the doctor am praying allot to god that hymen is still be there in my vagina...i wish i bleed when we will have our 1st sex on wedding night...
thanks for all your help m very glad to talk to you:-)
wish me good luck!!!!
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I will wish you the truth honey! And IF and I underline IF your hymen is broken or not, you need to know where he stands! This is YOUR body and now you are going to have some stranger test you - and embarrass you just to put your insecure fiance at ease! Ask him WHY he doesn't believe you? Also it's not only they hymen when you loose your virginity it is also the pressure etc. It's not usual to like the first time - as it can be painful!  REALLY ask him why he is putting you through this? and since you feel he "loves" you so much, ask him what will happen if your hymen has broken over the years!? You need to know this before hand! And I know you are a different culture than I am, but I will tell him to either believe you or not! Love is about TRUST and if you don't have that, and he thinks you have slept around - and needs "proof" this isn't a good sign! And I know you love him, but he is NOT your life, and you will NOT die without him honey! You are young so you think this is it! BUT NEVER demean yourself just to keep a man around! I would REALLY like to know WHY he doesn't believe you!
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THE REASON HE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME THAT
" I broke his heart two times i was committed to him back then and i had a affair with somebody else i loved someone else back then
the person who i loved him in the past was not a good person at all he brakes my heart then i realized that shayan is the one who cared and he forgive me what i have done in the past and he still with me...back then 1 have 2 affairs at a time and i was not a good girl i was such a bad person i feel sooo guilty to hurt him that way:'(....
one day i goto my friends birthday it was a long time ago his cuzin loved me madly and he would do anything to get me sooo my friend and him tricked me and locked up in the room with him but it dint happen i feel nothing i waked up after 10 min i get scared and i fell down but it dint happen at all i checked my hymen to the doctor with my mother back then it was there it was a relief:-)
i told him about this too i want to be honest and loyal with him dont want to hide anything to him anymore dont want to hurt him more:-( i really truelly madly crazy in love with him and i know he is not a bad guy he is simply unique if i dint hurt him badly and did not have affairs in the past and dint lie to him every time i know he will believe me if hymen is broken and wouldn't have to check my hymen right now...
since i have hurt him soo i have to check out my hymen to the doctor and make him ease and make him believe and i know he will understand he loves mee too<3...if he doesn't he wasn't meant for me at all and my life will be ruined for sure:'(
my bachelor and my love life is very complicated life and i never been happy until i found him<3
 i want to ask that " is it necessary to bleed if hymen is break by sex or etc anything at the time???

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It ALL depends on so many factors - some women bleed, some don't, some women tear their hymen some don't you can NEVER tell before having sex! You just have to be in a tender relationship and take it slow and easy and have lubrication and he has to know to be tender!

So you did NOT have 2 affairs you had 1 and the other was a trick! So DEFINITELY there was NO penis inside your vagina on both occasions? Because many people use the term "affair" to say that you SEXUALLY cheated on him! You can NOT tell if your hymen is going to break, so don't fret about that! IF you go to the doctor and he tells your boyfriend the results, he then needs to know about the fact that there MIGHT be tearing and blood or there MIGHT not!

I know you love your fiance! I'm not saying different! BUT there must have been some reason why you went with the 1st man! Try and remember and figure out WHY? What made you leave him for the other guy!? As this might help you figure out if there is something wrong! I just don't like the not believing you NOW! I understand betrayal I REALLY do! And it takes a LOT to trust someone again after being hurt, BUT I don't think you guys should get married UNTIL that trust is back! And that WONT be found with you bleeding or not! I think perhaps you both should go to couples counseling first and talk through the painful and untrusting parts! And perhaps the specialist could then explain to him that there MIGHT be pain/bleeding and there might NOT!

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ohhhhh no no no!!!! i was with him i was committed to him i am the one who betrayed and hurt him allot 2 times
by having affairs(friends) it was my fault that i think of friend but i gave much more attention o it like lovers do 
i am the bad guy over here not him!!!! he is perfect simply unique god has sent me an angel he showed me the real face 
of my dirty friend!!!!....we are not marrying not now we will marry after 5 years after my education is complete!!!
in this long period i will bring back his trust and everything is gonna be fine :)
pray for me plzzzzz thank you soooo much for supporting me :)
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