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I'm a 21 year old female and my boyfriend and I have been together for 3years now and we decided to try something new for a change so we had anal. We're both virgins and we want to maintain that until marriage and I heard from a friend that this doesn't break the girls virginity but I was wondering is it possible that the guy's virginity is lost like through anal sex? Need help asap :$

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Actually it depends on how you define virginity.Girls usually claim they are virgin if their hymen is not broken,which is only possible through vaginal sex and not anal sex.Since you had anal sex i guess you hymen is still intact and in that way you are still a virgin.And your boyfriend obviously has no hymen issue! so from this point of view both of you are still  virgin.

Again many people define virginity by sex.I mean if you hadn't sex (any kind of sex) you are a virgin and if you had you are not.In that case i think your bf has lost his virginity.But since in case of girls hymen is considered mostly,you can still claim to be a virgin.

 

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Hi Cookiemonster

This is my opinion, and you will probably find everyone has their own take on this.  I'd say a guy looses his virginity as soon as he puts his penis in the female, wherever it may be, with the exception of oral sex.  Regards the female having anal sex.  Even with vaginal sex some people have an issue defining when is/isn't she a virgin.  For example some consider that if her hymen were to break whilst masturbating she wouldn't be a virgin, some may say if her hymen does not break till the third time she has vaginal intercourse, then she was a virgin until the third time.  My opinion on this is also as soon as a penis is inside her vagina hymen broken or not, she is no longer a virgin,  Similarly you will have people disagreeing on if anal sex effects her virginity.  My opinion as soon as a penis enters her anus, she's engaging in intercourse so nope can't flash the virgin card anymore.

Again this is just my opinion but if your prepared to have anal sex, what the problem with vaginal.  No one needs to know you  guy's have done it, your 21 and have been together 3 years already,  in these times it's very rare someone marry s still being virgin and if this is what you both feel you will end up doing one day, perhaps you may want to rethink your pre marital sex rules.  If you really don't want to loose your virginity either of you, then I guess you'll just have to keep finding ways of improving on foreplay...which is never a bad thing for either of you.

I hope this helps<3

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I'm with violetcherry on this. The big question is, if you need to jump through mental hoops to claim you are a virgin what's the point? Saving yourself until marriage means viewing the sexual act, any sexual act as sacred. So if you engage in anything sexual you haven't done that, intact hymen or not. it'd not about the.mechanics, its about the intent. Do you think a woman who has been a sexually active lesbian thinks of herself.as a virgin? She may never have been penetrated by her lover vaginally but I'm sure she wouldn't consider herself a virgin. I would add that I don't believe you have done anything wrong. Sexuality is beautiful if expressed between 2 loving partners. If I believed in god I don't think s/he would judge you. Got too many other concerns with world peace and starvation to about where your guy puts his penis. That may not be what you want to hear, but are you after a technical definition of virginity that allows you to indulge in sexual pleasure but still claim virginity before marriage, or do you want to live by the spirit of no premarital sex because you view sex as a sacred act that should only take part in the sanctity of marriage? So really, why is virginity before marriage important to you both? That's only a question you and your guy can answer. If it is the second reason then stop being sexual? If it is the first then you might need to really rethink the whole virginity thing because if you are going to have anal sex and other forms of sex but stop at penis/ vagina sex that seems to be missing the point of remaining a virgin. Again, not judging, I wasn't a virgin when I got married. Just asking questions. If I were you I would relax and enjoy my partners body and our sexual relationship free from guilt. But that's easy for me to say because while I have strong morals that I live by I'm not religious. Best of luck and don't stress too much over technical definitions. Only you and your man know and if god does well I'm sure s/he's a forgiving God. All the best.
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Thanks tons <3
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With a female it is always certain (Look up hymen). But for malesit is purely ideological. My way to tell would be... Is he still mentally a virgin? Has he changed his behavior since you started anal intercourse? If so I would say he lost his virginity. If not then he's a virgin... I know in his position I would have lost my mental virginity. Just sayin'.
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Yes, if it was by an actual penis by another person. Toys don't count since it's lifeless. Men & women have stuff that has life coming out from there, so life must come in to be considered substantial to count it for virginity loss. Anything less than actual life I don't consider it losing virginity anally. Since this sounds like the real thing then yes he lost his virginity. Penetration is a constant factor in both anal or vaginal to be considered virginity loss.
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